Can't Afford No Shoes

The original lyrics

From Charles Ulrich:

September 25, 1974:

The name of this song is Ralph Stuffs His Shoes.
(Here we go, y'all)
That's right, here we go y'all

One two, one two three four

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
RDNZL

Have you heard the news?
(Waah waah waah-waah)
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
(Waah waah waah-waah)
Have you heard the news?
(Waah waah waah-waah)
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
(Waah waah waah-waah)

They're so teeny
They're so tiny
They're so meeny
They're so miny moe
I said moe
We need some mo'
For the show
C'mon let's go
To the sto'
Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa

Whoa whoa, hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
He stuffs 'em

Have you heard the news?
(Waah waah waah-waah)
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
(Waah waah waah-waah)
Have you heard the news?
(Waah waah waah-waah)
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
(Waah waah waah-waah)

They're so teeny
They're so tiny
They're so meeny
They're so miny moe
I said moe
We need some mo'
For the show
C'mon let's go
To the sto'
Whoa whoa whoa
Whoa whoa whoa

Whoa whoa, hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
He stuffs 'em
He stuffs 'em

Whoa whoa, hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Good lord, hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
Hey lawdy mama
Ralphie stuffs his shoes
He stuffs 'em
He stuffs 'em

December 31, 1974:

Now this is a song about— I hate to bring the subject up, but this is a song about the depression. And I don't mean the last one.

Have you heard the news?
Can't afford no shoes
Have you heard the news?
Can't afford no shoes
(Help me out, y'all)

Have you heard the news?
Can't afford no shoes
Have you heard the news?
Can't afford no shoes

No more rubber
No more leather
It might all be
Gone forever too

No more room
If it's true
It won't do
My feet are blue
I tell you
With no shoes
Well, ah ooh

Well, well,
Hey lawdy mama,
Can't afford no shoes
Hey lawdy mama,
Can't afford no shoes
xxx

Forced to hold my nose
Just can't wash no clothes
Forced to hold my nose
Just can't wash no clothes

Went to buy some cheap detergent
Some emergent nation got my load
Got my load
Got my toad
That I stowed

Well, well,
Hey lawdy mama,
Can't afford no shoes
Maybe there's a bundle of rags that I could use
Hey anybody,
Can you spare a dime
If you're really hurtin', a nickel would be fine
Hey lawdy mama,
Nothin' we can buy
Chump Hare Rama, ain't no good to try
Recession
Depression

Can't afford no shoes
Can't afford no shoes

Comments

Foggy G, "The Songs That Were Played," We're Only In It For The Touring

1974: As far as I know, this is only performed twice. It premieres on 9/25/74 (the same show as the only performance of "Flambay"), and was performed as "Ralphie Stuffs His Shoes". Essentially the same music, but the lyrics were changed and were about Ralph Humphrey, who—so the song goes—stuffed his shoes. Definitely worth hearing. The song later reappears on 12/31, with the lyrics that would later resurface on OSFA, plus special guest Bird Legs and a healthy dose of guitar based boogie.