FZ: Hello, I'm Mike Nesmith, and I'm one of The Monkees. Tonight as my guest on this wonderful television program which has done so much for all of you young people out there, I have as my special guest none other than Frank Zappa. That world famous person, participant in, perhaps even leader of, none other than the Mothers of Invention. And here he is, luv ya, Frank Zappa.

Mike Nesmith: Hi kids. Hi Mike. It's really a pleasure to be here. (fake Zappa nose falls off)

FZ: It is? They have a lot of zany stuff on this program, don't ya think? Well, tell me, Frank . . .

Mike Nesmith: Tell you what, Mike?

FZ: No, you're supposed to talk like Frank. This is one of our cute numbers for the show.

Mike Nesmith: Oh yeah, that's right. I am supposed to be you and you're supposed to be me, right?

FZ: You see the way we worked this out in advance?

Mike Nesmith: This nose keeps falling off. Okay, go ahead with those questions . . .

FZ: When you first get into the psychedelic music business, was it very difficult . . . I know you used to work in Hollywood . . .

Mike Nesmith: Well, it was more of a come on, guys, let's go, kind of situation.

FZ: Just like the Beach Boys.

Mike Nesmith: A lot of that. We did a lot of that.

FZ: You know that after I quit the show I'm gonna join the Byrds, dontcha?

Mike Nesmith: No, I didn't know that.

FZ: When you quit the Mothers, who are you going to join?

Mike Nesmith: I may join the Byrds too. I wanted to get into a very serious area that of course appeals to me as Frank Zappa, sometimes thought as creative genius, specially in the area concerning your Monkees' music which uh, appears to me to be banal and insipid, you know?

FZ: You think that our music, the Monkees' music, is banal and insipid?

Mike Nesmith: Well, words like that had a hard read, specially side by side.

FZ: Have you ever tried reading Mike & Frank?

Mike Nesmith: I wanted to know where the soul of your music was, is it on the one and the seven, or is it on the one and the five?

FZ: The soul of your music is on the one and the seven, and sometimes on the three and the five. The soul of our music, the Monkees' music, lies somewhere in between the one and a half, the two and a half, the three and three quarters, and the giant C major chord on the piano. Which I'd demostrate for you, we have wonderful music. Match cut. Here we go, we turn over and we all take positions on front of the camera, because this is the Monkees. We're really tricky. Tell me Frank Zappa, I've always wanted to have you show me how to conduct because I heard you were really spiffy at it.

Mike Nesmith: Will you follow me?

FZ: You're on television. I'm just one of these unpopular musicians, teach me.

Mike Nesmith: No, it's the other way around. You're a popular musician, I'm dirty, gross and ugly. Well, I'll tell you, Mike, before we get involved with the piano, let's whip over to the car, and I'll teach you . . .

FZ: Whip!?

Mike Nesmith: . . . how to play a car. Watch this! (hits timpani with mallet)

[cuts to Nesmith waving arms in conducting motions in front of 1940's car to the music of "Mother People." FZ demolishes car with a sledgehammer. Engine explodes. FZ douses flames with fire extinguisher.]

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too

Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn't show,
Think you better know
I'm another person