Beat The Boots II: Conceptual Continuity

In the dark
Where all the fevers grow
Under the water
Where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin'
By yer radio
Do the walls close in t' suffocate ya
Ain't got no friends
An' all the others, they hate ya
Does the life you've been livin' gotta go?
Now tell the truth
Let me straighten you out
About a place I know
(Now get your shoes 'n socks on people
Because it's literally right around the corner)

Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases

Out through the night
An' the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep
The Imaginary Diseases

Scientists call this stupid disease
Bromidrosis
And well they should
But us regular folks
Who might wear a tennis shoe
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of
Stink Foot
Yes, that's very true

FZ: Hey listen, buddy, if you're gonna sell T-shirts don't do it in the middle of the concert, take 'em outside some place. Anybody else who's walking around in the audience with T-shirts, get the fuck outta here. That pisses me off! I didn't know such things existed. A guy walking in front off the stage with a fucking T-shirt to sell to somebody. Well you live and learn.

Scientists call these T-shirts
Bromidrosis
And well they should
But us regular folks
Who might wear a tennis shoe
Or an occasional python boot
Know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of
Commercialism!

You know my python boot is too tight
Couldn't get it off last night
A week went by
An' now it's July
I finally got it off an' my girlfriend cry
"You got stink foot!
Stink foot, darlin'
Your stinkin' foot puts the hurts on my nose!
Stink foot! Stink foot! I ain't lyin'!
Can you rinse it off, d'you suppose?"

FZ:

Now this is the first, this is the first sterling example of real live Detroit style audience participation. Let's get ready for this. This is gonna be one of the big ones. It's very simple you know. A lot of people that do rock & roll shows wanna get the audience involved and they ask them to do hard things like keeping time to the music, we're not gonna do that. All we need is a girl, we need a girl, maybe several girls, who will actually kiss this ugly son of a bitch right here, just put their mouth right on the end of this stinking replica blue foot. Do we have, and I know we do right there in the corner just looking at you, the way you're dressed. The way your hair is. The way your glasses are tastefully poised on the top of your head. Your lips are destined to come in intimate contact with this foot. What do you say? You say no? Of course you say no.
They always say no at first. Are you ready?

Now there's a girl with good taste. You know what I mean. I'm gonna give you one more chance to redeem yourself. Perhaps, perhaps you're just entirely too well groomed to actually— Yes, that's what it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Cher!

Well we'll put the foot away momentarily because we have some important things to show you tonight.

Many of these things that you'll see tonight are actually . . .

Sick!

In the beginning God made the light, just like that. Shortly thereafter God made three big mistakes. The first mistake was roughly entitled the poodle.

Check him out. Our guest poodle tonight is Frenchy. Now when God— Say hi to Frenchy if you don't mind. When God first decided to build the poodle actually it was a mistake because he wanted to build a Schnauzer, he did fuck up. He knows it now, he did fuck up with the poodle. The original poodle had hair evenly distributed all over its small piquant charming canine type body. Then God made these other two mistakes. Mistake number two was Man. Mistake number three was Wo-man. Wo-man has always been extremely clever even since the olden days. And Man has always been extremely stupid even since the olden days, and any Wo-man will tell you that. Of course that's not the problem with the poodle.

The Wo-man looked at the poodle with lust in her heart. She wanted to find a way to appreciate, to find a deeper appreciation of the poodle's snout area. However she did not wish to do this with poodle hair sticking out all over the place. No no no. That would have been too common. The poodle of her dreams had to have a disco look and so she devised a plan. She turned to the Man and she said, "Sucker, go get a job!" And the man got off of his booty and left the Gar— the Garden Of Eden, went out and got a job pushing a broom for about a dollar-2.98 an hour. And then he came back and gave the money to the Wo-man. Who immediately took the money, left Garden Of Eden herself and went to the nearest hardware store to purchase some scissors, some clippers and a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers! That's right!

She came back and she did a J.O.B. on the D.O.G. She cleaned off his B.A.C.K., his T.H.O.R.A.X., his T.U.M. T.U.M., and here, right this area near Flint, she removed the tiny brown particles that were so unattractive in those days. Then she tweezed, she tweezed thoroughly around this area here to reveal the little red flanel succulent pink moist titillating poodle type tongue. And then induced the dog itself to squat on his hind legs as I will now demonstrate.

Can you all see the dog squatting? Well, just imagine the dog squatting, 'cause the next part you can understand really good. The dog is squatting, see, for those of you who can't see him squatting, and the Wo-man goes over . . .

Audience Member: Get the fuck out of the way!

FZ:

And sits up the dog's snout making it go up inside of her mystery zone, little black poodle lips and all, including the whiskers and all of the little hair on the chin and everything, as I will now demonstrate.

Somehow or another while she was down there she managed to look deep into the eyes of this aforementioned poodle and she said these words . . .

Give me
Your dirty love
Like you might surrender
To some dragon in your dreams

Give me
Your dirty love
Like a pink donation
To the dragon in your dreams

I don't want your sweet devotion
I don't need your cheap emotion
Whip me up a little dragon lotion
For your dirty love
That dirty love
Your dirty love
That dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Like some tacky little pamphlet
In your daddy's bottom drawer

Give me
Your dirty love
I don't believe you never seen
This book before

I don't want your reservation
Don't require your perspiration
I only got one destination
An' that's your dirty love
That dirty love
Your dirty love
That dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make that fuzzy poodle do

Give me
Your dirty love
The way your mama
Make that nasty poodle chew

I'll ignore your cheap aroma
Your little-bo-peep diploma
I'll just put you in a coma
With your dirty love
That dirty love
That dirty love
That dirty love

The poodle bites!
The poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
The poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
Yes, the poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
The poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
The poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
And the poodle chews it!
The poodle bites!
The poodle chews it!
The poodle bites and the poodle chews it
The poodle bites and the poodle chews it
The poodle bites and the poodle chews it

And the next song we have is about a subject that is very complex. This is a complex subject because this subject is higher education. Some of you may have already come into intimate contact with— Oh, wait till later—Some of you may have already come in contact with higher education and eh you'll probably understand these lyrics very well because the name of this song is "You Are Going To Wind Up Working In A Gas Station."

This here song might offend you some
If it does, it's because you're dumb
That's the way it is where I come from
If you've been there too, let me see your thumb

Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb

Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb

Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb
Let me see your thumb

Show me your thumb if you're really dumb
Show me your thumb if you're really dumb
Show me your thumb if you're really dumb
Show me your thumb if you're dumb

Hey now, better make a decision
(Make a decision)
Be a moron and keep your position
(Well, keep your position)
You oughta know now all your education
(Well, know all your education)
Won't help you no-how, you're gonna . . .

Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station

Pumpin' the gas every night
Pumpin' the gas every night
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station

Pumpin' the gas every night
Pumpin' the gas every night
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station

Manny the Camper wants to buy some white
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas sta . . . Fish!)
Manny the Camper wants to buy some white
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas sta . . . Fish!)
Manny the Camper wants to buy some white
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas sta . . . Fish!)
Manny the Camper wants to buy some white
(Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas sta . . . Fish!)

Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station
Wind up workin' in a gas station

Flies all green 'n buzzin'
In his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes
And scratch their matted hair
A tiny light from a window hole
A hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know
About the regular life in the day

An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops

Slime 'n rot 'n rats 'n snot
'N vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly soldiers, man
Holdin' spears by the iron door
Knives 'n spikes 'n guns 'n the likes
Of every tool of pain
An' a sinister midget with a bucket an' a mop
Where the blood goes down the drain

An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops

Flies all green 'n buzzin'
In his dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig
In a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts 'n the trotters first
The loins 'n the groins is soon dispersed
His carvin' style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
All men be cursed
And disagree, well no-one durst
He's the best of course of all the worst
(He's the best of course of all the worst)
Some wrong been done, he done it first
(Some wrong been done, he done it first)

An' he stinks so bad his bones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the night of the iron sausage
Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops

Flies all green 'n buzzin'
In his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people
That he's locked away down there
Are they crazy?
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?
It has never been explained
Since at first it was created
But a dungeon just like a sin
Requires naught but lockin' in
Of everything that's ever been
Look at her
Look at him
(Yes, look at him)
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in

FZ: Thank you.

City of tiny lites
Don't you wanna go
Say it, see the tiny auto horns
When they tiny blow
Tiny lightnin'
In the storm
Say it, tiny blankets
Keep you warm
Say it, tiny pillows
Hey, and tiny tiny tiny sheets
Talkin' 'bout them tiny cookies
That the peoples eats

City of tiny lites, well
Maybe you should know
It's over there
In the tiny dirt somewhere

You can see it any time
When you get the squints
From your downers and your wine
You're so big
It's so tiny
Every cloud is silver line-y
The great escape for all of you
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do

City of tiny lites
Don't you wanna go
Hear the tiny auto horns
When they tiny blow
Tiny lightnin', yeah
Hey, in the storm
Tiny blankets
Gonna keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Hey, tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny sheets
Talkin' 'bout them tiny cookies
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
That the peoples eats
(Tiny cookies)
Cookies . . .