FRANK ZAPPA
and The
MOTHERS of INVENTION
ONE SIZE FITS ALL

SIDE ONE

1. Inca Roads 5:23
2. Can't Afford No Shoes 2:37
3. Sofa No. 1 2:38
4. Po-Jama People 7:38

21:54

SIDE TWO

1. Florentine Pogen 5:23
2. Evelyn, A Modified Dog 1:05
3. San Ber'dino 5:51
4. Andy 6:03
5. Sofa No. 2 2:38

20:50


DS 2216

THE BASIC TRACKS for INCA ROADS and FLORENTINE POGEN were recorded live at KCET TV Los Angeles during the production of our TV special. The guitar solo in INCA ROADS was recorded live during our 1974 concert in Helsinki, Finland.

This album was produced between December 1974 and April 1975 simultaneously with our next album (coming soon). I hereby pronounce myself ready to go back on the road.

F.Z.

Easter Sunday 1975, 11:30 PM

 

INCA ROADS

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
Different

Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself

Or did someone
Build a place
Or leave a space
For such a thing to land

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill

Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was she round
And did she have a motor
Or was she something different

Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen

At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura,
Or did someone build a place
Or leave a space for Chester's Thing to land
(Chester's Thing . . . on Ruth)
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up her hill
On Ruth
On Ruth
That's Ruth

 

CAN'T AFFORD NO SHOES

Heh-heh-heh . . .
Have you heard the news?
(News? What news?)
Can't afford no shoes
(Get a good deal on tape)
Have you heard the news?
(News? Can't afford a paper)
Can't afford no shoes
(Hi-yo-hi)

Went to buy some cheap detergent
Some emergent nation got my load
Got my load
Got my toad
That I stowed

Well, well,
Hey lawdy mama,
Can't afford no shoes
Maybe there's a bundle of rags that I could use
Hey anybody,
Can you spare a dime
If you're really hurtin', a nickel would be fine
Hey everybody
Nothin' we can buy
Chump Hare Rama, ain't no good to try
Recession
Depression

 

PO-JAMA PEOPLE

Some people's hot
Some people's cold
Some people's not very
Swift to behold
Some people do it
Some see right through it
Some wear pyjamas
If only they knew it

The pyjama people are boring me to pieces
They make me feel like I am wasting my time
They all got flannel up 'n down 'em
A little trap-door back aroun"em
An' some cozy little footies on their mind

Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
Lawd, they make you sleepy
With the things they might say
Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
Mother Mary 'n Jozuf, wish they'd all go away!

Po-jama people!
It's a po-jama people special . . .
Take one home with you & save a dollar today
Po-jama people!
Po-jama people, people!
Wrap 'em up
Roll 'em out
Get 'em out of my way

 

FLORENTINE POGEN

She was the daughter of a wealthy
Florentine Pogen
Read 'em 'n weep
Was here adjustable slogan

She was a debutante daisy
With a color-note organ
Deep in the street
She drove a '59 Morgan

That's the kinda step she takes
When her hot breaks hot brakes
That's the kinda sound she makes
(ooh, let go uh me)
When her crab cakes
(Arf arf arf)

She didn't like it when her fan belt
Shrunk & got shorter
(Ointment)
Battery leaks could nearly cost her a quarter

She didn't wanna stay home
An' watch the pestle go mortar
Later she speaks
On how Perellis might court her

Na-na-na-noo, etc.

She was the daughter
Ah-ah-ahhh
Of a wealthy
Florentine Pogen
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Ga-ya-ee-annnn

Read 'em 'n weep
Read 'em 'n weep
Read 'em 'n weep etc.

Chester's go-rilla
She go quack
Chester's go-rilla
She go oink
Chester's go-rilla
She go moo
Chester's go-rilla
She go
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche

 

EVELYN, A MODIFIED DOG

Evelyn, a modified dog
Viewed the quivering fringe of a special doily
Draped across the piano, with some surprise

In the darkened room
Where the chairs dismayed
And the horrible curtains
Muffled the rain
She could hardly believe her eyes

A curious breeze
A garlic breath
Which sounded like a snore
Somewhere near the Steinway (or even from within)
Had caused the doily fringe to waft & tremble in the gloom

Evelyn, a dog, having undergone
Further modification
Pondered the significance of short-person behavior
In pedal-depressed panchromatic resonance
And other highly ambient domains . . .

Arf she said

 

SAN BER'DINO

She lives in Mojave in a Winnebago
His name is Bobby, he looks like a potato

She's in love with a boy
From the rodeo
Who pulls the rope on the chute
When they let those suckers go

He got slobberin' drunk at the Palomino
They give him thirty days in San Ber'dino

Well there's forty-four men
Stashed away in tank "C"
An' there's only one shower
But it don't apply to Bobby

You may think they're
Dumb an' lonely
But you're wrong
'Cause their love is strong
Stacked-up hair
An' a cheap little ring
They don't care
'Cause it don't mean a thing

Looka there . . .
They don't care

Best-est way that
They can feel-o
Out on the highway
Rollin' a wheel-o
He's her Tootsie
She's for real-o
Trailer park heaven
It's a real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o
Real good deal-o

The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino
Come on with me
Come on with me
Come on with me
Down in San Ber'dino
Just 60 miles, 60 miles
Down the San Ber'dino freeway
They got some dark green air
An' you can choke all day
That's right!
Gonna spend the rest of their lives
Rest of their lives
Rest of their lives

Say now,
Ain't talkin' 'bout Fontana
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout uh uh
Ain't talkin' 'bout the Redlands, no no
ZULCH is the auto works
I'm tellin' you
That's where they take
All the cars that they hurt
Come on and let's all go down to San Ber'dino
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Ooo-ooo
Let's-a go down down down
Down in San Ber'dino
Wouldja b'lieve it
San Ber'dino
San Ber'dino
(Got to call it)
San Ber'dino
(C'mere)
San Ber'dino
etc., etc., etc.
The rest of their lives
In San Ber'dino

Oh Bobby, I'm sorry you gotta head like a potato
I really am

 

ANDY

Is there anything good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there?

Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know-woh-oh-oh-oh—
Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know, really wanna know . . .

Something
Anything
Something
Anything

Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind

Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand

Andy de vine
Had a thong rind
It was sublime
But the wrong kind
Andy de vine
Had a thong rind
It was sublime
But the wrong kind

Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind
Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind

Oh Andy . . .

 

SOFA No. 2

I am the heaven
I am the water
I am the dirt beneath your rollers
I am your secret smut & lost metal money down your cracks
I am your cracks & crannies

I am the clouds
I am embroidered
I am the author of all tucks & damask piping
I am The Chrome Dinette
I am The Chrome Dinette
I am eggs of all persuasions
I am all days & nights
I am all days & nights
I am all days & nights
I am all days & nights
I am here
And you are my sofa
I am here
And you are my sofa
I am here
And you are my sofa

 

THOSE WHO PLAY THIS:

Frank Zappa—all guitars, lead vocals on Po-Jama People, Evelyn and Sofa No. 2, bg vocals on other tunes.
George Duke—all keyboards & synthesizers, lead vocals on Inca Roads, Andy and Sofa No. 2, bg vocals on other tunes.
Napoleon Murphy Brock—flute and tenor sax, lead vocals on Florentine Pogen and Andy, bg vocals on other tunes.
Chester Thompson—drums; gorilla victim.
Tom Fowler—bass (when left hand is not broken).
Ruth Underwood—vibes, marimba, other percussion.
James "Bird Legs" Youman—bass (on Can't Afford No Shoes).
Johnny "Guitar" Watson*—flambe vocals on the out-choruses of San Ber'dino and Andy.
Bloodshot Rollin' Red—harmonica when present.

*courtesy of Fantasy Records

 

TECHNICAL INFORMATION:

Engineers—Kerry McNab; Gary O; Jukka
Recordist—Mike Braunstein
Re-mix—Kerry McNab
Studios—The Record Plant L.A.; Caribou; Paramount; KCET TV; Finnlevy Studiot, Helsinki; Wally Heider Remote Truck
Assistance—Paul Hof; Richard "Tex" Abel; Dick Barber; Coy Featherstone; Bill Romero; Unity; Matti Laipio
Abuse (unwarranted)—Marty Perellis
Special Electronics—Musitronics; 360 Systems
German Translation—Lu Paschotta
Herbalism—Herb Cohen
Mastering—Kendun Studios
Design & Fresco—Cal Schenkel
Sofa Upholstery—Lynn Lascaro
Archaic Typography—Composition Arts; Vernon Simpson

All selections written by Frank Zappa
All selections © 1975 Munchkin Music, ASCAP
except Inca Roads © 1973 Munchkin Music, ASCAP
Administered by Third Story Music

PRODUCED BY FRANK ZAPPA

 



YCLEPTIC
9
JANUARY
8
FEBRUARY
7
MARCH
6
JULY
5
WEDNESDAY
4
AUGUST
3
IRWINDALE
2
2:30 IN
1
AFTER
0
NOON
23
SUNDAY
22
21
WALNUT
20
LA PUENTE
19
FUNNY CARS
18
CITY OF INDUSTRY
17
FRIDAY
16
ROUND THINGS ARE BORING
15
VIRGIL
LBRA
SFSH
AGIT
CAPN
AQUA
PXES
LEOL
JM&I
TRAX
ARES
CNCR
URSULA MINOR "The Little Dip" [0-8 / 75º-90º]
ZIRCON (The Nose Star)
Yttrium
Kojac (Kolchek)
Maxpax

CANCER [23-2 / 60º-75º]
Periscope
Cubans

AIRIES [3-5 / 60º-75º]
Miro
Sheraton
Hilton

[4-6 / 30º-75º]
Azelfafage
PLEBISCITES
Herbycon
Protein
HYAENAS
Legume

THORAX "The Bull" [5-8 / 30º-60º]
Aldebumen
El Nash

*Ahmet*
*Dogess*

DRANO [5-9 / 0º-60º]
*KNARF (uview)*
Rascallion
Grunion
Modus Operandi
Dristan
Lotte Lenya
Gainsayer

[5-7 / 15º-30º]
Vega
Pinto
Nato

JIM & I "The Siamese Twins" [6-8 / (-15º)-30º]
Zloty Groszy
Althea
Whazat
Pollack
Castoroil

O'BRION [6-12 / 45º-75º]
Beatrix
Betelnuts
Navel
Nigel

A Capella

Dinar
Peso
Pectoral

COMA BERNICE "The Plumber" [8-9 / 30º-60º]
Charo
Henna Brillo

LEO LIMON [8-10 / 0º-30º]
Abracadabra
Differential
Algebra
Regulus
Fan Belt
Steering Wheel
Algenon

CUNARD [9-8 / 0º-(-15º)]
Teflon
Wizened
Serious

VIRGIL [8-10 / 15º-(-30º)]
Orange
Horn Relay
Olney
Wyoming
Huntingpark
6 Red
Acc. Flasher
Black
R.Dir.Sig.Lamp
Yellow
125th
Lenox
Houston
Spring Garden St.
Canal
Marylebone
Edgware Road
Bayswater
Queensway
Charing Cross (c)
Waterloo

*DIVA*

Willow Gr.

CORONA BEGONIA [9-11 / 0º-30º]
Gemma

*DWEEZIL (auriga Ra6b 46m145d47º6')*

REX BEGONIA [10-11 / 0º-15º]
Itinerary
Per Diem
Oedipus
Enough

Alpha Romeo

PIXIES [10-12 / 15º-60º]
Ed Ruscha
Laura
Borscht
Baleen
Sperm

Hotratz

DAVID BOÖTES [11-13 / 30º-60º]
Arktourist
Necta
Misogynis

AQUARIUM [11-15 / 0º-30º]
Ali Baba
Sadalsoar
Markspits
Scat

BUFO BOREALIS [12-16 / 30º-75º]
Forsoothe
Boffo
Formaldehyde
Bufo speciosus
Katy, Texas
Bolivar

*Gorgo*

[13-14 / 15º-45º]
Algerian
Alkali
Alkaloid
Alison (Wickwire)
Alcapone
Alimentary
Alibi
Promiscuous
Porridge

Dar Al Zanuck

CAPRICORN "Gus Goat" [14-16 / 0º-45º]
Yazoo Delta
Atlanta, Ga.
Sal Hepatica
Sal Ammoniac

Zegreb

*HONKULES (galaxy)*

MUSCA [15-17 / 30º-60º]
Muscatel
Muscateer
Muscaeeto

OFIE YUCAS [15-18 / (-30º)-45º]
Jocasey
Molybdenum
Savey
Yed On Prior
Occasion
Ras Aldazzl
Ras Perry

*RDNZL*

AGITTARIUS [16-18 / (-30º)-30º]
Ernie
Novi
Chunky
Al Nozzle
Fiscal

CRUX "The Western Cross" [16-17 / (-15º)-0º]
D Crux
Uvda
Madder

*PUMPKIN*

SILVERFISH [17-19 / 15º-45º]
Paula
Asparagus
Al Surat
Aunt Letty

Ed Barbar

URSALA MAJOR "The Big Dip" [16-22 / 60º-90º]
Musak
Dublin
Alioto
Applecor
Alcaselzer

*LALA*

LIBRA [19-22 / 45º-60º]
Zubin Mehta

*UNIT*

*(3834)Zappafrank*

Aspic

Mochajava


PLASTICINE
CRETACEOUS PENNSYLVANIUM
ROCKS
Cal Schenkel
Ungrund ad cap IV
Die Vorz
GRUUVs
LABEL
hole
Phono
W
Luna
Aturns
Lead
Iupiter
Tinne
Sol
Gould
Venus
Copper
Iron
Sulphur—Silver
SPECIFICATIONS - Tux & Damask Piping. AS IND.
QUOD ALIQUO
mundane
MYSTERIUM MAGNUM
Quadraphonic
Pstereo
Mono
Outer Space
Pyramis N.J.
Ignis
Ubber Alles
cbaGFEDCBA
Sun Spots
AQUA VITAE
Terra del Fuego
NaCL
in lucem editum
Monochord
Fig: 9.ad.cIV§26

DIAGR. Fig. 52
AM Showing method of spin in Saturn
No 1121930
SODIUM und SULPHER
SCOTCH und SODIUM
SODIUM und GOMMORAH
RUBBER CEMENT
Wasser
replacement part
No 212 f
Chewy Carmel Center
Fig 6. Tab II.
Preliminaria
Fig. 10
S10
N.G
DONT WORK

Mercury

Mars

Divan, Divan . . .
Weisst du wer ich bin

Andromeda
a/95º

CRAB NEBULA GOES HERE

STARCLUSTER
Sa NGC 4594
EO NGC 3379
SBb NGC 5850
(M227)
TOO MUCH AIR

CS
LL
1675