FZ: Hello! Boy, got y'all JAMMED in here, don't dey? What's that say? "Thanks for coming, what's the secret word for tonight? Your buddies Dirk, Tom and Tommy." Okay . . . All right, guys, you're looking for another secret word? The secret word for tonight is RING OF FIRE! Let me try 'n explain this to you, folks: This afternoon at the hotel I was introduced for the first time to Johnny Cash, and Johnny was going to come to the concert tonight, and he was going to sing with us. Unfortunately his wife got sick so he can't come tonight, BUT . . . this afternoon we actually learned how to play a reggae version of "Ring Of Fire," and we've been trying to decide whether or not we oughta play it even if Johnny's not gonna sing it. Now, maybe you can help us decide. How many people would like to hear "Ring Of Fire" if Johnny is not going to sing it? How many people DON'T want to hear "Ring Of Fire"? I think most people want to hear "Ring Of Fire." Okay, here it comes, folks . . .
Love is a burning thing
(That's right)
And it leaves a firey fiery ring
(There's That's a firey ring)
I was captured by pure desire
(That's right)
I fell into a ring of fire
(Ow! Ow! Ow!)
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I fell down down down
And the those the flames [...] higher lit the pyre licked up higher
And it burns burns burns
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
("It's hot")
Love
("It's hot")
Is a burning thing
(That's right, that's it's the same verse again)
And it leaves makes a firey fiery ring
(It's one way of learning English)
(Senator Hawkins: Pyromania)
I was captured by pure desire
(Pure desire)
I fell into that burning ring of fire
(Ow! Ow! Ow!)
I fell into that burning ring of fire
(Johnny'll never know what he missed)
I fell down down down
And the those flames [...] higher lit the pyre licked up higher And it burns burns burns
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
The Mystery Man came over
An' he said, "I'm outa-site!"
He said, for a nominal service charge
I could reach nervonna t'nite
If I was ready, willing 'n able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote His Attention to me
But I said . . .
Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris, anyhow?)
Look here brother
Don't you waste your time on me
The Mystery Man got nervous
An' he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his Mystery Robe
An' he whipped out a shaving kit
Now, I thought it was a razor
An' a can of foamin' goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin' his box won't do
With the oil of Hi-Yo, Silver
An' the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said, "You might not believe this, little fella
But it'll cure your Asthma that Ring of Fire for you too!"
An' I said, hey!
Look here brother
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
Look here brother
Don't you waste your time on me
I've got troubles of my own, I said
An' you can't help me out
So take your meditations an' your preparations
An' cram it up yer snout
"BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOLRING OF FIRE!," he said
An', an' held it on up to the light
So I snatched it
All away from him
("It's hot")
An' I showed him how to do then told him how'll how 'da wipe it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head
So I'd look like I was Deep
I said some Mumbo Jumbos then
I told him he was goin' to sleep
I robbed his rings
An' his pocket watch
An' everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn't even make a sound
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around, I said
"The price of meat has have just gone up
An' yeryo' ol' lady Ring of Fire have just gone down"
Look here brotherJohnny
Who you jivin' with that Cosmik Debris?
(Now exactly what kind of a Ring of Fire are we talking about here tonight?)
Don't you know
You could make more money as a butcherget better results with Anusol
So don't you waste your time on me
(Don't Sri Chin, don't Sri Chinmoy on me)
(Oh Annie, oh Annie, oh An-yoo-sol!)
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
If you should see a girl on the street
Now maybe you might think she is sweet
But if you wanna tickle her treatwant a piece of the meat
Now really, what should you do?
(Rat-tat-tat-tat ta-da!)
Don't never let her know you are smart
The universe is no place nowhere to start
You gotta play it straight from the heart
She gwine renunciate Or she'll go doody on you
(That's why you gotta . . . )
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy Mud Shark till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
Now maybe you might think I am rude
And maybe you might think this that Mud Shark is crude
And maybe this approach I have spewed
Is not the one for you
(Rat-tat-tat-tat ta-da!)
But believe me later on you'll gonna find
As you impress her with your mind
That you would just be left behind
For a wiser fool
(So you might as well)
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
What's there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
Think I'll just drop out
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig and sleep
On Owsley's floor
Walked past the wig store
Danced at the Fillmore
I'm completely stoned
I'm hippy and I'm trippy
I'm a gypsy on my own
I'll stay a week and get the crabs and
Take a bus back home
I'm really just a phony
But forgive me
'Cause I'm stoned
Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
(They doHey, dude!)
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
Go to San Francisco . . .
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya, Frisco!
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya
Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!
Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
(They doHey, dude!)
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
Go to San Francisco . . .
(Oh, tell 'emjump, Johnny!)
Hotcha!Gotcha . . . First I'll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band
To go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
And smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
I will You know I'll have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me on the street
(Freeze, heavyhippy!)
I will sleep . . .
(Yes?)
I will, I will go to a house
That's, that's what I will do
I will go to a house
Where there's a rock & roll band
'Cause Because the groups all live together
(Here's Johnny!)
Ha ha ha ha, I will stay, And I will join a rock & roll band
I will be their I'll be the road manager
And I will I'll stay there with them
And I will get the crabs
But I won't care
Because . . .
I left my heart
WithoutWay down in San Francisco
FZ: One more time for Armenian our men in uniform
Moo moo moo moo
(Moo-moo moo-moo-moo
Me mee-nee mee-nee moo-moo)
Later that night . . .
Three hundred years ago (Ay!)
I thought I might get some sleep (ay!)
I stretched myself out onna antique bed
An' my spirit did a midnite creep
You know I'll never sleep no more
It seem to me that it just ain't wise
Didja ever wake up in the mornin'
With a Zomby Woof behind your eyes
I am the Zomby Woof
I'm that creature all the ladies been talkin' about
I am the Zomby Woof
They all seek for shelter when I come chargin' out
I'm tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is, the Zomby Woof
Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is . . .
Reety-awrighty, he da Zomby Woof
Reety-awrighty, he da Zomby Woof
They said aw-reety
An' they was aw-righty
An' I was a Zomby for you, little lady . . .
I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot's bigger than my other one is
Like a reg'lar Zomby Buxton Hoof
If I raid your dormitorium
Don't try to remain aloof
I might snatch you up screamin' through the window all nekkid
An' do it to you up on the roof
Don't mess with the Zomby Woof
I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be!
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the Zomby Woof
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the Zomby Woof
Eat your greens
Don't forget your beans & celery
Don't forget to bring
Your fake I.D.
Eat a bunch of these
MAGNIFICENT
With sauerkraut
MMMMMMMMMMM
Sauerkraut
Eat a grape, a fig
A crumpet too . . .
You'll pump 'em right through
Doo-wee-ooo
Eat your shoes
Don't forget the strings
And sox
Even eat the box
You bought 'em in
You can Even eat the truck
That brought 'em in
Garbage truck
MMMMMMMMMMMMouldy
Garbage truck
Eat the truck & driver
And his gloves
NUTRITIOUSNESS
DELICIOUSNESS
WORTHLESSNESS
One more soup for the world now!
(Isn't it romantic?)
Ah-oh-oh-oh ah-oh-oh-oh ah-oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Yow-oohSow-oupSoup
Yow-yoo-yow Sow-oo-oupSoup
La-la la-la la-la la-la
Ba-la ba-la na-la Lo-la lo-la lo-la
She was the daughter of a wealthy
Florentine Pogen
(Sou-oupSoup)
Read 'em 'n weep
Was her adjustable slogan
She was a debutante daisy
With a color-note organ
Deep in the street
She drove a '59 Morgan
Woo-lah!
That's the kinda step she takes
When her hot breaks hot brakes
That's the kinda sound she makes
(Ooh, let go uh me)
When her crab cakes
(Arf arf arf)
She didn't like it when her fan belt
Shrunk and got shorter
(Ointment)
Battery leaks could nearly cost her a quarter
She didn't want to go home
An' watch the pestle go mortar
Later she speaks
On how Perellis might court her
Na-na-na, na-na-noohoo
Na-na-na, yah-ahna-na-hoo/soup
Na-na-na, na-na-noosoup
Na-na-na, yah-ah-hoona-na-soup
She was the daughter
Ah-ah-ahhh
Of a wealthy
Florentine Pogen
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Ga-ya-ee-annnn
Read 'em 'n weep
(Take a booger home with you to)
Read 'em 'n weep
(Take a booger home with you to)
Read 'em 'n weep
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-HAH
Ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-HAH
Chester's go-rilla
She go oink
Chester's go-rilla
She go quack
Chester's go-rilla
She go moo
Chester's go-rilla
She go
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Is there anything good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there anything
Good inside of you
If there is
I really wanna
Know
Is there?
Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know-woh-oh-oh-oh—
Is there any-thaaaang good inside of you
If there is, I really wanna know, really wanna know . . .
Something
Anything
Something
Anything
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Show me a sign
If you don't mind
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Do you know what I'm really telling you
Is it something that you can understand
Andy de vine (de vine)
Had a thong rind (rind)
It was sublime (sublime)
But the wrong kind
Andy de vine (de vine)
Had a thong rind (rind)
It was sublime (sublime)
But the wrong kind
Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind
Have I aligned
With a blown mind
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind
Oh Andy . . .
Andy
Andy, Andy
A thong rind
It was sublime, now y'all know
The wrong kind, yeah-hah-hah-hah!
Our manBig line!
Andy, Andy, Andy . . .
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
Different
Stayin' Alive
Ah ah ah ah
Mother Mary and Jozuf!
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself
Park itself
(Park it . . . Park it)
Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a thing to land
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle come
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Of Her Fire
(Ike: Thank you! Ha ha ha ha!)
On RuthBruce
On RuthBruce
That's RuthBruce
Purple haze
All in my brain
Well lately things they just doesn't seem the same
Oh I actin' funny
And I doesn't know why
Excuse me
While I kiss this guy
Purple haze
All around
Don't know if I goin' up or down
Am I happy or in misery
Whatever is this doll
Put a spell on me
Hit me
Smash me
Listen here!
Purple haze
All in my eyes
Don't know
If it's day or night
You got me goin'
And you blew my mind
Tomorrow
Or just the end of time
Icy hazeIsaac Hayes Heavy hazeGabby Hayes, well . . .
Willie mazeMayes Mays
HellenHelen hazeHayes Speakin' to of HellenHelen . . .
Well it's gettin' near dog dark When the lines lights be closin' your tighten lights tired little eyes I'll soon be with you, my [milb] love And give you the that potato-headed surprise
Stay with you darlin'
Soon
I'll stay with you till all o' 'em stars start to fallin'
And fallin'
Ah! I've been waiting so long
(Ayyy! A-ha!)
Oh to beware be where I'm goin'
(Arriba! Arriba! Ay!)
In the sunshine of your love
You hold down just a second, there
You leather face leather-faced metal freak
And your you potato-headed watchamacallitwhatchamacallit!
(You talkin' to us now, son?)
Yeah, you bet I'm talkin' to you
I got something to say right here
(Ain't you the man in black?)
(SUCKER!)
Just get yourself ready
It's gettin' getting near dark
The light light's shinin' through on you . . .
I'll soon be with you, my love
(Whom love?)
It's the morning and just we two
I'll be with you darling soon
I'll be with ya when the seas all dry! Oh oh!sea's all dried up! (The seas?)
The seas
(You're talkin' dried up?)
All seas [...] I'll seize ya, matebuddy . . .
Oh! Wait a minute here! You shitkicker!
I said
I been waiting so long
To beware be where I'm going
(Andale! Andale! Anda!)
In the sunshine of your love!
Happy Saint Patrick, Dano! Pattie's day, now! Ha ha ha . . .
Yeah, then we gotta know[...], now
Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa.
Ah, I'm very pleased to be here on behalf of the Administration—the most powerful government in the world. And, uh, Mr. Fitzwater invited me to come here tonight to create some balance, because there has been some things done by Mr. Zappa that I think are unfair to our country.
I think, from the beginning, to say that this is going to be balanced, when he has this lingerie up here, and makin' fun of children's toys, as a beginning, if this is what he has in mind, I think he's wrong.
It's people like Mr. Frank Zappa that kept the Senate from being able to send ARMS to the DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM FIGHTERS IN NICARAGUA! And I, for one, am headin' down there myself, as soon as I finish up here tonight.
And I want the elected official, Mr. Charlie Sanders, the Democrat, to remember that "Democrat" begins with a "D," just like DEMON! And we'll remember you, friend, when it comes votin' time. And Margaret Boyd and Carmen BelacordBellacord, despite his former habitforeign name, did some help to back some things up.
Friends, these forms cost money. And this money could be going towards a more powerful military; this money could be going towards driving out the illegal aliens. And instead, Mr. Zappa wants to have a bunch of young, uninformed 18 to 21-year-olds votin' here, and spendin' your money.
And I just want you to know that tonight, I love him anyway. Because I've got love in my heart, and I'm not afraid of the fact that he he's turned this into some kind of zoo up here.
Sunday— That's not fair, Mr. Zappa.
Sunday night used to be a night in which Americans would get together. They'd go to their place of worship, and they would share. And I don't know why, on this night which is supposed to be Valentine's night, there aren't more people that have a heart that have a love affair with America. But instead, they're here on Sunday night, worshipping this man who's demon-possessed!
I ask you, Mr. Frank Zappa, what kind of man can name a child Moon Unit? What kind of man can name a child Weasel? What kind of man can name a child OhmanOmen? To me, it defies the logic.
And I'm comin' here tonight because I want to share with him, just the same way we're going to give spirit power to the democratic freedom fighters down there, our brothers that wanna have the freedom to be able to have a man like Pat Robertson, to have a man like Mr. Dole, restore America!
And I'm gonna ask the power and the joy and of the power of the living king of kings. And a lot of you here, you smut-minded, musical people say, "King of kings, that must be Elvis."
NoNow, I'm gonna ask for the power,
and I'm gonna ask for the glory.
I'm gonna now, I'm gonna tell you a story.
I'm gonna drive out the demons, friends.
I'm gonna ask you to help this badness end.
Come on Frank, let's have a story.
Come on now there 'n share the glory.
Do you feel the power? Come on, put out the negativity . . .
Flies all green 'n buzzin'
In his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes
And scratch their matted hair
A tiny little light from a window hole
A hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know
About the regular life in the day
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops
Slime 'n rot 'n rats 'n snot
'N vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly lookin' soldiers, man
Holdin' spears by the iron door
Knives 'n spikes 'n guns 'n the likes
Of every tool of pain
An' a sinister little midget with a bucket an' a mop
A sinister little midget with a bucket an' a mop
A sinister little midget with a bucket an' a mop
Where the blood goes down the drain
An' it stinks so bad the stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works
'N the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops
Flies all green 'n buzzin'
In his dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig
In a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts 'n the trotters first
The loins 'n the groins is are soon dispersed
His carvin' style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed
All men be . . .
All men be . . .
All men be . . .
All men be cursed
Uh-oh!
And disagree
(Yeah, disagree)
Well no-one durst
(Yeah, no-one dare)
He's the best of course of all the worst
(He's the best of course of all the worst!)
Some wrong a-been a-done . . .
Work out, Bob
(Err . . . )
Wanna buy some cave paintings, Bob?
Some wrong a-been a-done
(Some wrong)
He done it first
(Some wrong been done, he done it . . . )
An' he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In the night of the iron sausage
Where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture
The torture
The torture never stops
FZ: And speaking of torture, how about this ugly sonofabitch?
My name is Swaggart
I am an asshole
All my friends
They call me Jim
(Hi, Jim!)
I'm from LouisiannaLouisiana
I make lots of money
But I fucked up
And commited a sin
Come out here
To Californy
Just to find me
Some pretty girls
(No shitsshit!)
The ones I seen
Gets me so horny
Ruby lips
'N teeth like pearls
Wanna love 'em all
In the name of Jesus
Wanna pretty girl
I'll even pay
I'll buy 'em furs
I'll buy 'em jewelry
I'll never fuck them
Here's what I say
I'm lonesome Cowboy Jim
(Speakin' atcha!)
I only give 'em the tips of him
(Posin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here prostitute
Yodel oh-ooh tee ay
Yodel oh-ooh tee ooh . . .
(He's lonesome Cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him)
Come on in this place
And I'll buy you a taste
And you can sit on my face
Where's my prostitute/waitress?
Swaggart, Swaggart Redneck (Thank you!)
Swaggart, Swaggart Redneck (Yessir!)
I'm an awful nice guy (So you say)
I sweat all day in the sun (Oh yeah, yeah)
I'm a preacher by trade
Quite a bundle like me
And I'm a feature ol' summit of it mumble-mumble
Son-of-a-gun
(He's a unionized roofin' old
Son-of-a-gun)
Fill in the blank!
When I get off, I get
When I get off, I get
When . . . I, I, I, I
And then, Sharkey says
When I get off (pfft!)
I get sinful
(Just the tip!
Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
Till I goo
On the rogue rug
Then I find me
Some eighteen ninety-five Luiann—, Louisianna Louisiana style prostitute
And make her do pornographic stuff sex stunts while I watch
And I have
So much fun
Jesus! Jesus! Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
(Pornographic stuff stunts and I have we're havin' he has I have so much fun)
(What?)
I puff huff
And I puff
(Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche)
And I pump on up my sanctified erection
Till my chics cheeks
Puff up
An' turn red
Over Along with my neck
(Safe armament?Say, varmint!)
I drool
On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
But I've been doin' it for twenty years and they haven't caught me yet
Uh-oh!
Made a mistake this time!
Now I've sinned
Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I've I sinned, uh!
Made a mistake and I've I sinned, ow!
Made a mistake and I've I sinned, what?
Made a mistake and I've I sinned
Lonesome Cowboy Jim
(Sinnin' atcha!)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt
(Greenin' Grinnin' atcha!)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here prostitute
Yodel oh-ooh tee ay
Yodel oh-ooh tee . . .
(He's Lonesome Cowboy Jim/Scott)
(Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo)
(Don't you dare to laugh at him/swat)
(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place
An' I'll buy you a taste
'N you can sit on my face
Where's my prostitute?
Opal, you hot little bitch!
Flies all green 'n buzzin'
In his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people
That he's locked away down there
Are they crazy?
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?
It's never been explained
Since at first it was created
But a dungeon just like a sin
Requires naught but lockin' in
Of everything that's ever been
Look at hersher
Look at him
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
That's what's the deal we're dealing in
Well I'm about to get sick
From watchin' my TV
Been checkin' out the HO HO HOoh oh oh!
Until my eyeballs fail to see
(Oh, my God, I'm still blindit's Tipper!)
I mean to say that every day
Is just another Voodoo Fudge
(Oh, my God . . . )
And when it's gonna change, my friend
You fill in the blank right here
Well I'm watchin' and I'm a-waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
(I know they're fresh!)
(I don't know . . . )
There's no way to delay
Those panties/That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
Those panties/That trouble comin' every day
Wednesday I watched Jimmy Swaggart
Watched him weepin' all over the place
An' I watched him weepin' an' weepin' an' weepin'
And that [chip] shit rollin' down his face
(Oh . . . I sinned!)
An' then I watched him weep some more
An' he kept on weepin' again
(Oh, forgive me, [...], oh, I'm sinly, o'Assembly O' God!)
And they smacked him on his little hand
And he went out makin' more money, uh-oh!
I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
(Jay-zus!)
Every time I hear 'em sayin'
(I have seen the path!)
There's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
Forgive me!
Oh, Jesus, I just stuck the tip in! Oh my God!
I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
Hopin' for the best
Even think I'll go to prayin'
Every time I hear 'em sayin', oh, yeah (oh, no . . . )
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn
Way over on the wet side
Of the bed
Just like the mighty Penguin
Flappin' her eight ounce wings
(The Swaggart Flap)
Don't you know it's all over
If she come atcha on the strut and wrap 'em all around yer head
Flappin' her eight ounce wings, flappinumm
(Jim!)
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Shake up the pale-dry
Ginger ale
Tremblin' like a Penguin
When the battery fail
Lord, you must be havin' her jumpin' through a hoopa real fire
With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire
(Fire!)
Little Penguin
A dirty little bird
(What?)
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
Rennenhenninnahenninneninahenn
Howlin' over to some
Antarcticulated moon
In the frostbite nite
With her flaps gone white
Shriekin' as she spot the hoop across the room
(There it goes again . . . it's that hoop)
You know it must be a Penguin bound down
When you hear that terrible weepin'
And there ain't no other evangelist around
(Jim!)
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
She's just like a Penguin in Bondage, boy
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Oh . . .
Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim
Aw, you must be careful
Not to leave her those straps
Too loose
'Cause she just might turn you in
'Cause she just might turn you in
(Yessir!)
An' leave you sort of a dried-up, wastin' wizened little ministry . . .
Bow wow
RAWRow!
"It's hot"
"It's"
"It's"
"I mean that"
"I . . . I . . . I . . . "
"I . . . "
"I . . . I . . . "
"It's hot"
"It's . . . It's"
"It's hot"
"It's"
"It's"
"I mean that"
"I . . . I . . . I me . . . "
"I mean that"
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a Stairway to Heaven
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooo-oooh
And she's buying a Stairway to Heaven
There's a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have
Two meanings
In a tree by the brook
There's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven misleading
Oooh makes me wonder
Oh-ooooh makes me wonder
There's a feeling I get
When I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
And oooh makes me wonder
And oh-ooooh makes me wonder
And it's whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter
Yes it makes me wonder
And owowowow, no
It If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring clean for the May-queen
Yes there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
On and on
Said ooooh makes me wonder
And oh-oh-oh-ooooh makes me wonder
Your head is humming and it won't go
In case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady can you hear the wind blow
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind
Say!
Say!
Mother, Mary & Yozuf!
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to know
How everything turns still still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The moose news will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
And she's buying a Stairway to Heaven
FZ: Ike Willis, Mike Keneally, Walt Fowler, Bruce Fowler, Paul Carman, Albert Wing, Kurt McGettrick, Chad Wackerman, Ed Mann, Robert Martin, Scott Thunes. Thanks for coming to the show. Good night, [Robin]Robert!