Beat The Boots II: Swiss Cheese / Fire!

 

 

Tears began to fall
The writing's on the wall
'Cause there was nothing I could say
She took the car and drove away
And now I'm sittin' here all alone
Without no love of my own
That's when the tears began to fall
'Cause I ain't got no love at all

Tears began to fall and fall and fall
Down my shirt
'Cause I feel so hurt
Since my baby drove away

Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall and fall and fall
Tears began to fall

And now I'm sittin' here all alone
Without no love of my own
Without no love of my own
Without no love of my own

Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall

Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Hey!

The tears began to fall and fall and fall
Down my shirt
'Cause I feel so hurt
Since my baby drove away

Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall

Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall
Tears began to fall

She painted up her face
She sat before the mirror
She painted up her face
She drew the mirror nearer

Practisissing, Practiss, Practicing!

The stare
The stare

The secret stare she would use
If a worthy-looking victim should appear

Practisissing, Practiss, Practicing!
oh-hoo oh-hoo o-hoo-oo-hoo (Ah-hoo-ah-hoo-ah-hoo-ahhhh)

Practisissing, Practiss, Practicing!

The clock upon the wall
Has struck the midnight hour
She finishes her call
Her girlfriend's in the shower

Practisissing, Practiss, Practicing!

Half a dozen provocative squats
Out of the shower, she squeezes her spots
Brushes her teeth
Shoots a deodorant spray up her twat
It's getting her, getting her hot
She's just twenty-four
And she can't get off
A sad but typical case, yeah
The last dude to do her
Got in and got soft
She blew it
And laughed in his face, yeah!
Face, yeah!
Yeah-heah Yeah . . .
(Yeah . . .)

FZ: This is a song about vegetables. They keep you regular. They're real good for you.

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
You gotta call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Yeah . . .
The vegetable will respond to you
The vegetable will respond to you
Oh!

Call any vegetable
Pick up your phone
Think of a vegetable
Lonely at home
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Yeah . . .
The vegetable will respond to you
The vegetable vegetables will respond to you

Rutabaga
Rutabaga
Rutabaga
Rutabaga
Rutabay-y-y-y . . .

Rutabaga!

No one will know
If you don't want to let 'em know
No one will know
'Less it's you that might tell 'em so

Call and they'll come to you
Smiling and covered with dew
Hey! Hey!
Vegetables dream
Vegetables dream
Vegetables dream
Of responding to you

Standing there shiny
And proud by your side
Holding your joint
While the neighbors decide
Why is a vegetable
Something to hide?
To hide!
To hide!
To hide!

FZ: You know, a lot of people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. They think that perhaps the only thing that's really necessary is a bit of fondue and an old Saint BernhardBernard. But even in Switserland Switzerland I'm sure that you realise there's more to life than merely that. Not much, but a little bit maybe. Maybe some ice skates. Send Let's add some ice skates to meit. Sometimes you'll think once you've got your hands on your ice skates (BURP), "Where can I go with my hands on my ice skates?"
Howard: Where can I go to drink Slivovitz in the Alps?
Mark: At Bill R's big lodge up the hill where you can go right up the hill today and skate with Bill and Ron.
Howard: Where can I go to have equipment problems in Montreux?
Mark: Right here. You don't have to go nowhere.
Howard: Where can I go to get a shirt just like Jim's wearing.
Mark: At the Mark Marc Bolan Beau-tique.
Howard: Where can I go to get a into a cloth that looks like 19691965, hey-hey-hey.
Mark: Los Angeles, California.
FZ: Questions, questions, questions, flowing flooding into the mind of the concerned rock & roll performer today. Ah, but it's a wonderful time to be alive even in the middle of fondue country. And we have some culinary suggestions for you now. New things that you could can stick on the end of your very own fork and dip into your very own hot fat. The creative approach to Swiss cooking. And here are your suggestions: Muffin fonduesfondue!
Mark & Howard: Penis!
FZ: Pumpkin fonduesfondue!
Mark & Howard: Penis!
FZ: Plastic Wax paper fondue!
Mark & Howard: Penis!
FZ: Caledonia, MahoganiesCaledonias, mahogany, elbows . . .
Mark & Howard: Yeah!
FZ: & Green things in general . . .
Mark & Howard: I got a penis, yea-eah . . . !
FZ: And soon, a new rapport!
Mark & Howard: Yeah! You got a penis, yea-eah . . .!
FZ: You and all your new little green and yellow buddies, grooving together, Oh no! maintaining your coolness together . . .
Mark & Howard: Yeah! You got a penis!
FZ: Worshipping together in the church of your choice, only on the top of the mountain!
Mark & Howard: Yeah! I got a penis!

God bless America
Land that I . . .

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
You gotta got to call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Yes indeed, the vegetables will respond to you

Howard: We had an interesting adventure just the other day. Yesterday as a matter of fact. We all got into this coach and they told us that Kinny was gonna buy us a dinner. Yes, and he they did buy us a dinner. And the coach went up into the Alps. And it kept going up and up into the Alps until it could go no further farther and then we got out of the truck. And with our coats huddled around us and our breath forming into little minute beatlets beadlets of insensual sweat we hiked through the snow past the little ducks in their bob-sleds, past the little turkey tire tracks, up into the mountains. Run tun tun, Run tun tun (Ran-tant-tan) Ran-tant-tan. (Tun-tun-tun) Tun-tun-tun. Whereupon we came to this little shack where they fed us some cheese and shit, it and shit that was okay. But as we were leaving—Oh yeah you and your jeanscheese—. As we were leaving I couldn't help but notice two goulashes galoshes sticking out up out of the snow. I said, "My God, it has been a long time since anyone has anyone's eaten here and lived." And I dug, and I dug and there I found this old weathered beaten man, who must have been—oh, what could he have been., 60? 70?—, blue in the face, wrinkled, shriveled, had been lying under the snow for maybe oh 10, 12 ten or twelve odd years, and I picked him up, and as I was giving him artificial respiration he pushed me away—as many want are wont to do under the same circumstances—and muttered the following words to me about his time under the snow. Dig it . . .

Any way the wind blows
Is fine with me
Any way the wind blows
It don't matter to me
'Cause I'm thru with-a fussin'
And a-fightin' with you
I went out and found a woman
Who is gonna be true
She makes me oh so happy
Now, I'm never ever blue
No, no, no
Any way the wind blows[3x] Any way the wind blows

She is my heart and soul
And she loves treats me tenderly
Now my story can be told
Just how good much she is means to me
Let me tell you that she tells me
That she loves me
And she never makes me cry
I'm gonna stick with her till the day I die
She's not like you baby
She would never ever lie
No, not her
Any way the wind blows [3x] Any way the wind blows

Any way the wind blows [3x]
Now that I am free
]From the troubles of the past
Took me much too long to see
That our romance couldn't last
Yeah yeah, now I'm gonna go away
And leave you standing at the door
I'll I tell you pretty this, baby
I won't be back no more
'Cause you don't even know
What love is for
No, you don't
Any way the wind blows [x3] Any way the wind blows

Anyway, anyway, anyway
The wind blows
Yeah
[etc. repeat] Any way, any way, any way
Any way the wind blows
Any way the wind blows

Any way, any way, any way
Any way the wind blows
Any way the wind blows

Any way, any way, any way
Any way the wind blows
Any way the wind blows

Any way, any way, any way
Any way the wind blows
Any way the wind blows

Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway
Anyway the wind blows
Yeah

Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway
Anyway the wind blows
Yeah

Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway
Anyway the wind blows
Yeah

Anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway
Anyway the wind blows
Yeah

Howard: Here are the ingredients for the Nestle's chocolates chocolate that you turkeys eat every day, a-haa!

There was a man
A little old man
Who lived in Montreal
With a wife and a kid
And a car and a house
And a teen-age daughter
With a see-thru blouse
Who loved to grunt and ball
And her name was Magdalena

Magdalena

The little old man
Came home one night
To his house in Montreal
He caught his daughter
In the blouse by the night light
And he said to himself
"She looks all right!"
And he reached for a tit
And grabbed it tight
And threw her up against the wall
(BLEU Blue Cross!)
Magdalena

Group:

My daughter dear, do not be concerned
When your Canadian daddy comes near
My daughter dear, do not be concerned
When your Canadian daddy comes near
I work so hard, don't you understand
Making maple syrup for the pancakes of our land

Do you have any idea?
What that can do to a man?
What that can do to a man?
Do you have any idea?
What that can do to a man?
What that can do to a man?

Howard:

Magdalena

The little old man
With the grubby little hand
Who lived in Montreal
Was drooling a bit
As he reached for her tit
And he said to himself
"This is gonna be it!"
But the girl turned around
And said, "Go eat shit!"
And ran on down the hall
Oh no
Right on, Magdalena!

Group:

My daughter dear, do not be concerned
When your Canadian daddy comes near
My daughter dear, do not be concerned
When your Canadian daddy comes near
I work so hard, don't you understand
Making maple syrup for the pancakes of our land

Do you have any idea?
What that can do to a man?
What that can do to a man?
Do you have any idea?
What that can do to a man?
What that can do to a man?

Mark: Like Aynsley!

Howard:

Magdalena, don't you tease me like this
In the hallway with your blouse and your tits
If your mommy ever finds us like this
She'll call a lawyer, oh, how mom will be pissed

DOODLE DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH [4x]
DOODLE-OODLE-OODLE DOOT-DOO DEE-OOH
DOODLE-OODLE-OODLE DOOT-DOO DEE-OOH
DOODLE-OODLE-OODLE DOOT-DOO DEE-OOH
DOODLE-OODLE-OODLE DOOT-DOO DEE-OOH WAH . . .

Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena,
My little tiny (?) poontang fondue . . .
I I'd love to take you out with me, Magdalena.
OwwwOh, walking down the streets of Montreux
Together we'll go,
By the coo-coo cuckoo clocks and the cheese shops.
And Magdalena, can you see us ice skating together, oh baby.?
Can you see us skying skiing together on the slopes of our choice.?
Not you, no, Magdalena my little daughter.
My own little daughter.
My The little infant.
I remember when they brought you home from the hospital, Magdalena, and your mother showed me to you and I said,
"That's, That? Well it's all purple and stuff."
And she said, "Honey, don't worry,
Soon that little girl is gonna have a set of bosooms bazooms on her you won't believe."
And, Magdalena, the eternal prophecy has come throughtrue.
I looked at you in the hallway yesterday,
your You were wearing your little
Afghanistan see-thru embroidered blouse
And your little nipples were protruding, and I said to me selfmyself, "My God,
My God, I gave my sperm to that thing"
I'm hard as a rock
And, Magdalena, I had to reach out in the darkness.
I had to reach out in the darkness like friends and lovers Friend and & Lover say
And I grabbed onto your litttle little bossoomsbazooms
And your mother walked in the door,
And she said, "Harry, nice weathernot in Switzerland, we're neutral here."
But I didn't care, Magdalena,
I reached out and I grabbed her you
And I pulled you down onto me, Magdalena . . .
[rest of text inaudible] [...]etc., etc.

Ya-ya-yayayayaa [3x] Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-yah!
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-yah!
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-yah!
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-yah!

Primer me carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time

Fuzzy Dice
(Fuzzy Dice)
Bongos in the back
My ship of love
(My ship of love)
Is ready to attack

Buy me a carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time

Fuzzy Dice
(Fuzzy Dice)
Well, bongos in the back
My ship of love
(My ship of love)
Is ready to attack
Won't you please hear my plea
Won't you please hear my plea
Hear my plea, hear my plea
Hear my plea, hear my plea

Hear my plea, hear my plea
Hear my plea, hear my plea

Hear my plea, hear my plea
Hear my plea, hear my plea

Hear my plea, hear my plea
Hear my plea, hear my plea

Hear my plea . . .

[repeat from 'Primer mi carucha']

FZ: This is a piece for those of you in the audience who happen to speak German. And if you do happen to speak German, after this piece you'll probably regret it . . . One, two, three . . .

FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . . .

Mark: Oh, thank you Frank. Hiya, friends! What a life?! I can't begin to tell you. I mean, today as I was walking here, just like every place else I go, people walk up to me and they go, "Mark, Mark, Mark."

Howard: Bark! Bark! Bark!

Mark: I hear a littleA hareliphare-lipped dog. "Mark, are you kidding?" And all I can say back to them is friends, friends, I am not kidding. I feel great. I mean, I'm portly, and I'm maroon. What else could you ask for? Can anybody here in this audience, in our vast audience back there, even you in the cheap seats, can you guess what I am?

Howard: No, we can't guess what you are.

Jim: We can't guess what you are.

Mark: Well then, I'll give each and every one of you some clues. Clue number one (and I've already given this away), I'm I am portly, clue number one. I'm I am portly, I am clue number one.

?: Mark! Mark!

Howard: I still don't know who you are.

Mark: Okay, then I'll give you clue number two, and this is very important to the girls in the audience, I'm I am double knit.

Group & Audience: Ohhhhh . . .

Mark: I stretch. And clue number three . . .

Howard: Oh no,no, Still don't know who you are, though.

Mark: Well, I was gonna to give ya you the clue anyway.

FZ: Does it matter with a response like that?

Mark: Clue number three, and these are for the people standing right in front the vocal PA mike, Ich bin Maroon!

Howard: Ahhhh! Why didn't you say so!

FZ: Once upon a time, way back a long time ago, way back when the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Maroon . . .

Mark: Thank you, Frank, hiya friends.

FZ: Trying to convince each and every members member of this audience here tonight that he was nothing more, nothing less, than a fat maroon sofa suspended in the midst of a vast emptiness, a light shineth down from Heaven. And who should appeare appear but the Good Lord himself and his faithful Saint Bernard, Wendell.

Howard: Down Wendell, down!

FZ: And he was feeling fine that day. And if there was one thing that he could use it would be a nice sofa for him and Wendell. And he looked at the sofa, and he said unto himself, "This sofa is all right except that what it needs is a floor." And so in order to attain obtain the floor, he consulted with the Celestial Corps of Engineers and addressed them formaly formally with the a little song in Deutsch, because that is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business, take it away, God . . .

Jim:
Gib zu mir etwas Fußbodenbelag
Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa

Howard: Everybody!

Jim & Group:
Gib zu mir etwas Fußbodenbelag
Unter diesem fetten, fließenden Sofa

FZ: And of course that means, "Give unto to me a bit of flooring underneath of this fat floating sofa." And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, stretching all the way from Fondue Central up on top of the hill, right down to the front door of the Excelsior Hotel. And the Lord proceeded to deliver unto the sofa a brief lecture that will set forth in specific language, the sum total of all of
their future relationships, including options, with an electric clarinet.

Group: Yeah!

Howard:
Ich bin der Himmel

FZ: This goes out to [?Irving Porter] Urban Gwerder in the box.

Group:

Ich bin das Wasser
Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
Ich bin dein geheimer Schmutz
Und verlorenes Metallgeld
(Metallgeld)
Ich bin Unter deine Ritze
Ich bin deine Ritze und Schlitze [Britze]

Ich bin Wolken
Ich bin bestickt
Ich bin der Autor aller Felgen
Und Damask Damast-Paspeln
Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
Ich bin der Chrome Dinette
Ich bin Eier aller Arten

Ich bin alle Tage und NaechteNächte
Ich bin alle Tage und NaechteNächte

Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa
(Aiee-ah!)
Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa
(Aiee-ah!)
Ich bin hier
Und du bist mein Sofa

FZ: I'm I am here and you are my sofa!

Group:
Eddie, are you kidding me?
Eddie, are you kidding me?
Eddie, are you kidding me?

(translation):
Jim:
Ein Licht scheint vom Himmel herab (A light shines down from Heaven.
Kometen und alle rasenden TruemmerTrümmer Comets and all rushing wreckages
Dunkle Gase und tiefgefrorene ?????? negative aus [...]Dark gas and deep-frozen ???
Zittern bei der Ankunft des Herren Are trembling at the arrival of the Lord )

FZ: A light shines down from Heaven, a dense ecumenical patina at the right hand of God's big sofa. And the Lord put aside his huge cigar and concidered considered it was time now to entertain himself on the that Heavenly afternoon with the sofa, Wendell, his girlfriend, who was a little bit short, and her assistant Squat the Magic Pig. And he did it like this . . .

Howard & Group:
Bring her zu mir (Means: Bring on to me
Das kurze MaedchenMädchen the short girl

FZ: Bring on to unto me the short girl!

Group:
Und Squat, das magische Schwein and Squat, the magic pig)

FZ: And Squat the Magic Pig. And the big light, because we we're gonna make a home movie!

Mark & Group:

Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
(Du miserabler Hurensohn)
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
(Streck ihn aus)
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
(Streck ihn aus)
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
(Streck ihn aus)
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten Schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!

Howard: [...] guys!

Mark & Group:

Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
(Du miserabler Hurensohn)
Fick mich, du miserabler Hurensohn
(Streck ihn aus)
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
(Streck ihn aus)
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten
(Streck ihn aus)
Streck aus deinen heißen gelockten Schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!

Mach es sehr schnell
(Rein und raus)
Mach es sehr schnell
(Rein und raus)
Mach es sehr schnell
(Rein und raus)
(Magisches Schwein)
Mach es sehr schnell
(Rein und raus)
(Magisches Schwein)
Bis er es spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt)
Bis es spritzt (?) (Both, es and er, is possible) er
Feuer!
Bis er es spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt)
Feuer!
Bis er es spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt)
Feuer!
Bis er es spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt), spritzt (spritzt)
Feuer!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
(Oh-wo-wo-wo-ow)
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
(Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa)
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!

?: Armed Forces Radio, Radio Free Europe

Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
(You ugly son of a bitch)
Fuck me, you ugly son of a bitch
(Stick it out)
Stick out yer your hot curly weenie
(Stick it out)
Stick out yer your hot curly weenie
(Stick it out)
Stick out yer your hot curly weenie
Weenie . . .
Weenie, weenie, weenie!

Make it go fast!
(In and out), Magical Pig
Make it go real fast!
(In and out),
Make it go real fast
(In and out)
(Magical Pig)
Make it go real fast
(In and out)
(Magical Pig)
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Fire
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Fire
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
FireLiar!
(Three Dog Night)
Till it squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts), squirts (squirts)
Fire
But don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
(Don't get no jizz upon that sofa)
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
(Don't get no jizz upon that sofa)
Don't get no jizz upon that sofa, sofa
Please me!

Mark:
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!
I'm not a groupie!

Howard & Group:
I hear and obey, [? ?]Short Girl.

FZ: Sheets of fire, ladies and gentelmen gentlemen.

Group:
Lachen Laken von Feuer

FZ: Sheets of real fire.

Group:
Lachen Laken von Feuer

FZ: Sheets of dried fried water, which is a new form of fondue.

Group:
Lachen Laken von getrocknetem [gebrokenen] gebratenen Wasser

FZ: And the Lord causeth the Short Girl to kneel and make mysterious gestures near the reproductive orifice of Squat the Magic Pig, and proceeded to broadcast her pure sweet voice throughout his greatest new PA system all over the Alps and everything.

Howard: (Yodleyodel)

Mark:
Fick mich, Schwein
Bis meine ???? Orchester dunkles Gas blaestbläst
Funken schießem heraus
Sich Nebel blasen(?) lassen hat(?)Hort

FZ: And for our boys in uniform that means, "Fuck me, swine, until my orchestra blows dark gas, sparks shoot out, and nebulas are revealed." Along with sheets of fire.

Group:
Lachen Laken von Feuer

FZ: Sheets of dried fried water.

Group:
Lachen Laken von getrocknetem [gebrokenen] gebratenen Wasser

FZ: Lachen von Feuer Sheets of drywall and roofing!

Sheets of dried water

Group:
Lachen von getrocknetem Wasser Lachen Laken von Drywall und Roofing

FZ: Sheets of large deprived deep-fried rumba!

Group:
Lachen Laken von riesigen, tief-gefrorenen Rumba

FZ: A light shines down from Heaven. A dense ecumenical bandana at the right hand of God's big rumba(?) . . . And his voice pronounceth out in sheets of plywood and bales of old sportshirts.

Howard: Vot dooz he say?

Ballen von alten Sporthemden (????)

FZ: And he says in the middle of his delirious stupor . . .

FZ:
Beklecker nicht

Howard:
Beklecker nicht

Mark:
( . . . ) Beklecker nicht

Jim:
Beklecker nicht

Group:
Mein Sofa!

FZ: Obviuosly Obviously meaning, "Don't get no jizz on the sofa." It is now time for the bales of imported unmiti-con, unmitigated zircon fondue.

Group:
Ballen von ZeckenZirkon (Fondu)
Und alten Sporthemden, Sporthemden, Sporthemden (Fondu)
Lachen Laken von Feuer (FundoFondu)
Lachen Laken von ????? Gummi (Fondu)
Lachen Laken von Tränen (Fondu)
Lachen Laken von ??? kleister??? Spitzen Katalogen Katalogen mit Kloisterspritzen ??? Kleister SpritzeKlistierspritzen, Spritzen, Spritzen, Spritzen, Spritzen, Spritzen (Fondu, Fondu, Fondu, Fondu)

 

Bringing in the sheaves
Bringing in the sheaves
We will come rejoicing
Bringing in the sheaves, WOW!

L.A. in the summer of '69
I went downtown and bought some wine
I wasted my head on three quarts of juice
And now the grapes won't cut me lose
'Cause I'm a wino man
Wino man
Hooka!
Wino man

36, 24, hips about 30
(36, 24, hips about 30)
Seen a fine lady and I started talkin' dirty
(Seen a fine lady and I started talkin' dirty)
She looked at me and raised her thumb
(Thumb, yeah)
And said, "Jam down the road, you funky-ass bum"
(Jam it down, jam it down, funky-ass bum)
That's no way to talk to a lady!
'Cause you're a wino man,
Don't you know I am?
Wino man

I, I went to the country
And while I was gone
A roller-headed lady
Caught me weedling on her lawn
I'm so ashamed, but I'm a wino man
And I can't help myself
Help me somebody!

'Cause I'm a wino man
Wino man
Wino man

My guitar playing
And my wino career are in a slump
'Cause I find myself now living
In a cardboard refrigerator box down by the Houston dump
And, oh my God, I'm so fuckin' ashamed of myself
(Ashamed of myself)
I feel like goin' up to the . . . WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

I've been drinkin' all night and my eyes are gettin' red
Well, I crashed in the gutter, got bugs in my head
Got bugs in my coat, been scratchin' like a dog
I can't stand water and I stink like a hog
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i . . .
Maybe an old overcoat or two
Maybe an old overcoat or two
Maybe an old overcoat or two
Oh, I just love overcoats

I'm cryin'
I'm cryin'
I'm cryin' for Sharleena
Don't you know?
I called up all my baby's friends
'N ask'n um
Where she done went
But nobody 'round here seems to know
Where my Sharleena's been
Where my Sharleena's been

I'm cryin'
I'm cryin'
Cryin' for Sharleena
Can't you see?
I called up all my baby's friends
'N ask'n um
Where she done went
(Where she done went)
But nobody 'round here seems to know
Where my Sharleena's been
Where my Sharleena's been

Ten long years I've been lovin' her
Ten long years
And I thought deep down in my heart
She was mine
Ten long years I've been lovin' her
Ten long years
I would call her my baby, and now
I'm always cryin'
(I'm cryin', yes, I'm cryin')

I would be so delighted
I would be so delighted
If they would just
Send her on home to me

I would be so delighted
I would be so delighted
If they would just
Send her on home to me

Sharleena-leena
Sharleena-leena
Sharleena-leena
Sharleena-leena
I'm cryin'
(For Sharleena)
I'm cryin'
(For Sharleena
For Sharleena)
Hear me cryin'
(For Sharleena)
Hear me cryin'
(I called up all my baby friend's and ask'n um)
I'm cryin' for Sharleena
(Where my baby went)
Hear me cryin'
For Sharleena
(But nobody seems to know . . . )
Hear me cryin'
For Sharleena
For Sharleena
And now I'm cry-cry-cry-cry-cryin'
And now I'm cry-cry-cry-cry-cryin'
For Sharleena
For Sharleena
For Sharleena
For Sharleena
Can you hear cry-cry-cry-cry-cry-cry-cry-cryin'
For Sharleena
Hear me cryin'
Cry-cry-cry-cry-cry-cry
Hear me cryin'
For Sharleena
No, no, no, no . . .
Sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la-la
Sha-la-la-la . . .

Why doesn't somebody somewhere right here in the middle of the Alps and the home of the Saint Bernhard Bernard and the chees cheese fondue and the Dutch chocolate
Swiss Chocolate
Swiss Cheese
(Oh, yeah, fine)
Why don't you send her home?
Why can't you send my ever-loving Sharleena home?
(Send my baby home to . . . )
Why don't you send her home to . . .
Me!

I
(I oh I oh I)
Ay ay ay
Must be free
My
(My oh my oh my oh my)
Fake I.D.
Freeeeeees me
Gotta do a few things
To make my life complete
(SURE YOU DO)
Gotta live my life
(Where?)
Out on the street
Diddeliddellidde
The difference between us
Is not very far
Cruising for burgers
In daddy's new car
My phony freedom card
Brings to me
Instantly
Ecstasy
Ecstasy
Ecs-ta-sy

Don Preston!

FIRE! Arthur Brown, in person.
Well if you you'll just calmly go toward towards the exit, ladies and gentlemen. Go toward the exit, calmly. Please. Calmly, calmly towards the exit.

Tu veux un coup de main? Tiens.
Tu peux m'aider, vite?
Tu prendras ça aussi.
J'crois que c'est tout, hein.
Oh, et la chemise, ici, regarde là.

Doucement, pas de panique!
Doucement!

Wie isch das passiert?
He, weiss nit.
Hesch alles?
Ja, hey, gib mer . . . Kasch mer schnäll s'Hemmli drüber schiesse?
Das da?
Ja.
Gotverdammi.
Gahts?
Gang führe.
Also ich ha jetzt gmeint es seig en Zappa Witz!
Jaja.

Hé, on reste ensemble.
On va un p'tit peu vers là-bas . . .
Ja chum, da isch eigentlich no sys Züg.
Hein, on va un p'tit peu vers là-bas.
'Faut absolument qu'je range mes microphones, j'peux plus marcher.