Narrator: [...]

FZ:
This tape version of it that you hear is from the Uncle Meat album. It is the original recording of it, and it's been uh, changed around somewhat to suit the purposes of the film version from of 200 Motels. In this next section the soprano solo is supposed to be a girl from a low budget rock & roll magazine that's interviewing me, and she has a text that she recites on this now, melody here . . . Right here. She's singing, "When is your next L.P. to be released, and how long have you been growing your hair; have you been to England yet, and how do they like your music over there?" And then the chorus goes, "Over there, over there . . ." She says uh, in an aside to the audience, "I bet the first time that you went to England that it was really far fuckin' out and groovy and uh, it was really groovy vibes and it was so European, and I can just see you guys now wandering around Europe, going to all these exotic places like Paris, Rome, Essen and the Vienna Woods."

Phyllis Bryn-Julson:
Really exciting and heavy and far out.
I bet it was groovy vibes over there . . . So European!
I can just imagine you and your little group . . . going all over Europe . . .
Paris . . . Rome . . . Essen . . .
Even the Vienna Woods!

Narrator: [...]

Narrator: [...]

FZ: . . . Grabs Janet by the tits . . .

Announcer: . . . 69 . . . 63, 64 . . . 10 o'clock . . . orchestra . . . 61, 62, 63 and 64 . . . and 68 . . . and 58. I'll just go through that once more. We're starting on 57, looking in the groupies' room—where the cameras are now—and then the orchestra comes in at ten o'clock, and we record the orchestra. Also, the pick-up shots of scenes 61, 62, 63, and 64—and 58, which are all virtually in the same area. Thank you very much.

Roelof Kiers: You're Tony Palmer, you're the director of 200 Motels. What kind of conception do you have?
Tony Palmer: Well, I think Frank has had this dream for so long now, that I think that even he has become unsure as to what exactly the dream constitutes. It's a kind of mixture of childhood fantasies, adolescent fantasies, and now grown-up fantasies, all somehow strung together to make some sort kind of enormous nightmare that he may or may not have had at some point in his life. And one's problem as a director is trying to unfathom that dream and make some kind of coherent sense of it.

Narrator: [...]

InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Why are you, as a producer, interested in 200 Motels?
Jerry Good: Strictly because of the uh, the creative aspects of it. I think what Frank can done creatively from a musical point of view is . . . as well as a story telling point of view is so fresh that uh, it excited us, that's why we really got involved, and I think he's a brilliant talent, and uh, the whole feeling of 200 Motels from the point of view of what he is trying to say.
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Mm-hmm. What is he trying to say?
Jerry Good: Uh, excuse me.
Roelof Kiers: Yeah.
Jerry Good: I believe what he's trying to say is, he's trying to make a statement with regard to what happens to all these people on the road. In the minds of the people that are not on the road, you know what I mean? And uh, a lot of, what do you say, I think it will go over the heads of some of the people that are not familiar with what's happening today in the rock & roll scene, etc. But uh, I think he's done it immaculately, and trying to tell the story in his proper text the way the story should be told and that's through music.
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Do you see any commercial potential in it?
Jerry Good: I, sure as hell hope so! He he he . . .

Narrator: [...]

Narrator: [...]

How long?
How long?
Till that mystery roach been gone
Yea-oooh
Yea-oooh

The mystery roach be approachin'
The mystery roach be approachin' me . . .

Roelof Kiers: How does it feel to be Howard?
Howard: Well, the character I play is a great guy, you see, right away that gives me a start. Uh, on the other hand, half of it's reality and half of it isn't, you know? Where the line is, it's sometimes even hard for the players to tell, you know. It's just uh, that when you look at your script some lines come easier than other lines, you know, and usually those are the ones that you've said before, but or feel that you could say quite honestly, you know, and some of the other things were made up and it, it comes out that way.

Mark: Room service?
Howard: Being I've been without female companionship for so long.—Monday, for instance.—that a career as a Jesuist Jesuit monk sounds inviting. Ian, you're is starting to look good to me.
Ian?: Eewww . . . Ruth . . .
George: Must be his green little velour socks . . .
Jeff (Martin): I You just come calm down there, Duke.
Mark: Ever since you left the jazz world to seek fame and fortune in the rock & roll industry . . .
Jeff (Martin): Rock & roll! What d'ya mean rock & roll? This fucking band doesn't even play rock & roll, it's all that comedy crap.

Narrator: [...]

Theodore Bikel:
What's between your legs
Is just the last few inches of a complex

Chorus:
Mechanism which runs
Up and down the spinal cord
And all hooked up to the human brain!

Lucy?: The pin.
[...]
Theodore: The bee . . . pin, pin . . .
FZ: Wait a minute, I'll tell ya! Mark walks over in here, you just come over and stand near the side of the organ and watch in the background. The same with George.
Theodore: I'd better, I may better do it from the this side, that should be better. "You are Volman!"
Howard: "No. No, no, no . . . "
Theodore: So, alrightall right, listen. I'll come in, come in with my briefcase, I see all of this thing . . .
FZ: Yeah.
Theodore: I'll go, "Ping!" Everybody wakes up. How do we, how do they know that I . . .
FZ: Do a general, a general sweep so they see that you're getting Mark and back in there and everybody wake 'em all up.
Theodore: I will go, "Prn-rn-rn-rn-rn-rng! You're Volman."
FZ: Yeah.
?: You'll go what?
Theodore: I'll go, "Prn-rn-rn-rn-rn-rn-rnng! You're Volman."
Howard: And as he sweeps around everybody . . .
Theodore: Everybody wakes up as I see them. Okay? Go . . . "Well, you may call me Rance Muhammitz."
Howard: "We already did. I called you Rance and he called you Muhammitz, a few minutes minutes ago at the beginning of that song."
FZ: That's a confession. "I called you Rance. He called you Muhammitz."
Howard: Okay. "I called you Rance. I called you Rance. He called you Muhammitz. Few minutes ago at the beginning of that song."
Theodore: "Sitting, sitting across the road in the fake night club with an Indian gentleman, suddenly I sensed a need on your behalf to communicate with me. There was a need, wasn't it there? Or you wouldn't have called. Would you?"

InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Theodore Bikel, you've been in many movies. Twenty, I think.
Theodore: Thirty, more like it.
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Thirty already! Why are you in 200 Motels?
Theodore: Well, because I was intrigued by the whole idea, it was no more than an idea when Frank came to me first. I Uh, he came with exactly, I think it was fifteen pages of an outline. There That was all there was, there was no more. But eh, it was intriguing. It was interesting, and uh, Frank himself is a, it's, you met him, you know. It's a very exciting personality, so let's film what idle either be a complete flop, chaos, or an, an extraordinary film. There'd be nothing in between.

InterviewerRoelof Kiers: You play yourself in 200 Motels.
Mark: Well uh . . . I play a version of myself as Frank sees me, you know, like, you know what I mean?
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: No.
Mark: It's not, uh, he sees the group from . . . like we see him from one point of view and he sees us from another place, this was written around like we'rewhere, you know, the folklore that each member had brought to create the image that we portray.
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: It's partly true or not?
Mark: What?
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Is it partly true or not?
Mark: Well uh . . .
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Is it?
Mark: I think so, I think that like, uh, some of the scenes have happened before. You know what I mean.
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Which ones you mean?
Mark: OhWell, specifically the, the hotel room scene where the group sits and talks about how Frank is not important to what the group is and . . . that scene I remember happening many times, uh, just the whole idea that it is Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention has always given us something to talk about, you know, Frank is, you know, our boss and so there's always that kinda management, uh, worker relationship that, you know, that just happens, it isn't like you, you plan for it to happen, it just does . . .

Narrator: Jeff Simmons [...]

FZ: From the point that Jeff Simmons quit the group we we've had a bunch of adventures trying to find somebody to replace him. Non, not only for the bass parts in the music, but to play the role that he was supposed to play in the film, which is a pretty large part. And, uh, our first candidate for the role was Wilfrid Brambell, who played the grandfather in A Hard Day's Night. So Wilfrid came over, tried out for the part, everything was set, he rehearsed with us for about a week, and then one day came to the studio here, and completely freaked out, and said that he couldn't handle it anymore. It's uh . . . So, we went into the dressing room and, sat around with the guys in the band, and tried to figure out what we're we were gonna do 'bout about replacing the replacement. And the first person that walked through the door was Martin Lickert, who happened to be Ringo's driver, and, uh, everybody just turned and look looked at him and we went, "You!"

Narrator: Ian Underwood [...]

Ian:
I'd like to introduce my friends friend and companionscompanion
Okay.
We'd Howard Kaylan, who'd like to say a few more words
No, this is once . . .

Martin: I'm a Mother now, yeah. But don't . . .
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: Temporarily.
Martin: Temporarily, or whatever, you know.
Mark: Well, we're all, that's the thing.
InterviewerRoelof Kiers: What's the thing?
Mark: Temporarility.
Martin: Like a very short pregnancy.
Mark: Yeah, working with Frank isn't like working with any other group, it's all very temporary. And uh, that's the way it works. And you just, you just never know, I mean, like, it isn't the final stage for any of us, you know. Like this isn't the final Mothers Frank would have. It's hard to say how long we will be together. And, you know . . .

200 Motels

Narrator: [...]

Director: "Each guy has his speciality."
Ringo: "Each guy has his own speciality of finding the girl of his dreams."
Director: Quiet in the background, please! Once again, Ringo. That one.
Ringo: "Each guy has his own speciality of going out to find the . . . " What is it?
Director: "Getting the girl of his dreams."
Ringo: Not "going out."
Director: "Each guy has his own speciality for getting the girl of his dreams."
Ringo: "Each guy has his own little speciality of getting the girl of his dreams."

Keith: Oh, excuse me, Frank.
Gail: Yes?
Keith: What's . . . with the uh, shape . . .
Gail: It's fantastic, isn't it horrible?

Narrator: [...]

Gail: Well, I think his name's Keith Moon.
Keith: Well, I play the part of a perverted nun.
Roelof Kiers: Perverted nun?
Keith: Well, I'm male.
Gail: A popstar disguised as a groupie disguised as a nun.
Keith: Right. And this gentleman here . . . Mr. Pierre, Paul? Paul Pierre.
Gail: Heh heh heh . . .

Narrator: [...]

Lucy: "Over there, it's him, he's watching us. He's looking at us with the binoculars."
Janet: "What?" . . . You say, "Look over there," and I say, "What?"
Director: Keep going on, keep going . . .
Lucy: "He's doing it, he's watching us from the fake bas— fake bandstand with the binoculars."
Director: Once again.
FZ: More excited.
Lucy: "Look! Over there!"
Janet: "What?"
Lucy: "He's doing it, he's watching us from the fake bandstand with the binoculars!"
Janet: "Who, the English . . . ?"
Lucy: "The rivet-boy."
Keith: "The rivet-boy. Where?"
Lucy: "Over there, wipe that stuff out of your eyes. It looks like he's beating off."
Janet: "Beating off? I knew he was a pervert."
Lucy: "Eww, how exciting. Hey, are you still trying to O.D.?"
Keith: "Yes, this definitely is the end for me! I feel so faint! So weak!"

Ooh, the way you love me, lady,
I get so hard now I could die
Ooh, the way you love me, sugar,
I get so hard now I could die

Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size

Howard: "Take off all your little clothes—except for your heavy-duty chrome and leather Peace Medallion—till you are virtually STARK RAVING NUDE! And make you assume a series of marginally erotic poses involving a plastic chair and an old guitar strap while I did a wee-wee in your hair and beat you with a pair of tennis shoes I got from Jeff Beck."

Director: Fade to black! Time for lunch!