She creaked down the lane
As sane as you make her
Rake held proudly in her hand
Loudly singing her song
To you, to you, to you, to you.

She puffs on her old corn pipe
Griping about dusty heat
Her feet
swing bare in the rubbish

So high and mighty on her throne
Her bony hounds by her side
Gone with the rush of time
The Eureka Springs Garbage Lady
shall ride no more

A-aaah, a-aaah, a-aaah, a-aaah
She's a school teacher from Dakota
Diploma in her shack
Back with the folks at home
She's in love with the Blacksmith Harry
Caring for his trash
Dashing by as fast
As her sway-back hag will go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
(Clap clap)
Will go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o (clap clap)
Will go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o (clap clap)
Will go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o (clap clap clap)

La la la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la la

So high and mighty on her throne
Her bony hounds by her side
Gone with the rush of time
The Eureka Springs Garbage Lady
shall ride no more

The town seems empty without her
Around the cobbled streets
Neatly raking
Making the town nice and clean
And dreamin' and hummin'
As she goes oh-oh-oh-oh
A-aaah, a-aaah, a-aaah, a-aaah, etc.

[...]

How embarrassing it is at only 13
To have to take showers
In front of a dyke gym teacher
Who drools at the sight
Of your pectoral muscles flexing, smelling of
Four laps around the track
50 push-ups multiplied by 200 girls
The cracks of backs hitting cement floors
As we strained our bodies into womanhood

Room 323
Stagnant Sox
Sweaty girls
Broken locks

Two by two to the opposite gym
Our nylons rolled under our sox
Today is the day of heavy socializing,
Heavy socializing, heavy socializing
Finally getting to The BTO's

A B.T.O. is the opposite of a G.T.O. only they get in there more—sexually, than we do. It means, Boys Together Often, Only, Occasionally, Organically, Outrageoulsy. All those O's.

[...]

A brown felt top hat wrapped with a bow
Yellow wrap around girl-watchers that never show
His blue eyes, his blue eyes
What a fantastic disguise
He's so grand and fantastic, so wonderful.

The T of his T-strap stands for Tippie-Toes
His Tippie-Toes fit him to a T,
Oh C.B. do a tap dance for me
With your bigga fat Tippie-Toe Theresa Shoes

A jacket with virgin, virgin button holes
Reaching for experienced buttons
Thin striped chords that circle his
Porcelain ankles funneling down to
The Captain's fat Theresa shoes

The T of his T-strap stands for Tippie-Toes
His Tippie-Toes fit him to a T,
Oh C.B. do a tap dance for me
With your big fat Tippie-Toe Theresa Shoes

His blue eyes, his blue eyes
What a fantastic disguise
He's so gay and fantastic, so wonderful
The elevated plastic heels
That wish they could, look like wood
That wish they could, look like wood
Shuffle on the floor and do so very much more
Than other shoes, than other shoes,
Than other shoes ever could.

The T of his T strap stands for Tippie-Toes
His Tippie-Toes fit him to a T,
Oh C.B. do a tap dance for me.

Wouldn't it be sad if there were no cones
No, not ice-cream cones
Cones are soul brothers with processed points
at the tips of their foreheads
Some wear lime green phosphorescent
Imitation leather jackets and pants
Others are fairly normal-formal excepting
those flood ankles on their bright orange slacks

"That's a flashy outfit mini-mama,
Hey now, hey now, hey now,
I could kiss your thigh"

They stand in front of The Wiggy-A-Go-Go
And slap their chins,
We really respect them for their confidence
It's too bad everyone can't be as confident as a cone
(they're great losers)

Do the Skate, Shing-a-ling, Boog-a-loo
"Come on with me an' we'll spin some
fine platters, darlin'."

Oh, cones! You send us with your fantastic lines.

"What's your favorite form of recreation darling?
Hey now, hey now, hey now,
I could kiss your thigh."

"Say Sno-white, can I give you a ride in my
outasight metal-flake Bonneville?
Hey darlin', you come here with me, woman
to my righteous pad in L.A. and we can
booze it up and have some f-i-i-i-n-e lovin'.

Hey now, hey now, hey now,
I could kiss your thigh."

Muddy Goppup standing there
Roses held by him
Stopped to catch Kee Lee Da Da Do
But the circle would not permit it

This circular circulation
I circle continuously
To prepare myself for memories
And have a talk with me

A mighty burst Muddy Goppup had
To cure him of this fever
The sun came on, the chord came off
His seat became the lever

So what was one to do right then
At fourteen minutes after
I shook his hand, explained the plan
And set stone walls to laughter

Was at this time the power ceased
Yellow darts were flying
A gentle bum rose from the street
Upon which he was lying

This circular circulation
I circle continuously
To prepare myself for memories
And have a talk with me

It serves you right, Mr. Goppup screamed
Four signs on his window
To let another make your dreams
For the rest of you to show

Can't think for the life of me
Pounds, Do Da Kee Lee
More different than before the start
You cheated and pretended too.

Was at this time the power ceased
Yellow darts were flying
A gentle bum rose from the street
Upon which he was lying

This circular circulation
I circle continuously
To prepare myself for memories
And have a talk with me

I hope that I shall never see
All the Moche monsters lined up in front of me
True repulse & total disgust
Getting rid of Moche is an imperative must
These are just to name a few
We hope they don't influence you
Moche Monster!

Yonder comes a soft car
Which probably won't take me very far
The organ grinder behind the wheel
Is hoping he can score a feel
His eyes are bulging at your bod
He things you are a free-loving mod
Moche Monster!

[...]

I'm a television baby
My father's a knob
And my mother's a tube
When I'm sad my horizontal dips
And my vertical skips
But when I'm glad, my brightness
meter shouts brightest.

Rodney Bingenheimer.

[...]

We have a friend named Rodney Bingenheimer
He has a Dutch Boy hair cut and he's five feet three
He lives down the street from the Hullabalooo
And he doubles for Davy Jones
And he got beaten up by Brian Jones

Rodney Bingenheimer.

[...]

He's so amazing, you should see his walk
It just screams "Get in there" with the pop-stars

[...]

Let me in, let me in, I'm with one of the Vanilla Fudge
I know Sonny and Cher,
I meditated with George Harrison,
The Hollies are my best friends
And I ate lunch with Grace Slick yesterday
You can ball Ringo Starr if you ball me first
[...]

[...]

We see you at Wallichs and down at The Ranch Market
Waiting for pop stars to casually stroll by
Oh, Rodney, if you introduce me to Mick Jagger,
I'll let you meet my little sister
She's only twelve years old.

Rodney Bingenheimer.

Boy with dark skin, Eyes of hot coals
Hair of raven black
Dancing in darkness, singing in closets
I call you Scarlet, dressed in black.

Cobes studded words you speak
Changing all your lovers into orphans
A red rose so pretty I wanted to touch
And when my hand held you
The thorns pricked my heart.

Boy with ivory skin, eyes of sea green
Hair of pale gold
Dancing in a music box, singing in the garden
I call you Merrygold, dressed in white

Silk winding words you speak
Changing all your lovers into mountains
A golden poppy, I wanted to touch
And when my hand held you
The leaves blossomed my heart

Scarlet, Merrygold and I are fine
For they are lovers, each others
As well as mine.

[...]

[...]

I see all the people I want to see
I be all the people I want to be
And find all the treasures I want to find
Along with the images, they're so unkind

Shock treatment, let me go-o
Shock treatment, oh let me go-o etc. etc.

What does his mother say when we kiss on the doorstep
(He has to be home by ten)
I wait around 'til 3 o'clock till he comes out of school
He flirts with all the ten year olds
And I'm so jealous I could die
(He just screams Brian Jones)
Brian Jones! Do you realize this little eleven year old
looks like Brian Jones?
(He just screams Brian Jones)
A kiss on the cheek would be enough
But when he does more . . . wah! wah!

He has captured my heart . . . Bart.

I'm ready to settle down
Do you think your parents would let you quit school at 16?
It's only five years. I can wait.
(He is the ladies man)
How could you doubt him, even when he lies
When he says he's out playing ball
He's being a two-timing man.

He has captured my heart . . . Bart.

Oh, how he wrinkles my dress
and tangles my hair
(Get in there, Bart)
Sneak out your window and I'll meet you tonight
And you'll be back in time for school
When we're together, am I 11 or are you 19?

He has captured my heart . . . Bart.

You're a heartbreaker, Bart Baker.

[...]

I'm in love with the Ooo-ooo man
He was born and raised in Schneit Schneit land
And his first name is the same as his last

Oh the things he says just flutter my heart
Flutter my heart, flutter my heart
(But mind you, he never brings sorrow)
"I may look elegant now,
But Crazy Horse gets this tomorrow"

We were once behind a codge and a girl
Codge and a girl, codge and a girl
And we waited as he tried to date her
But my love became impatient
"Pick up your big black shoe and put it on the accelerator"

Oh Mr. Ooo ooo, just say the word
Just say the word, just say the word
(Say two or three if you care to)
I will roll on the floor, do a jig on the door
She will roll on the floor, do a jig on the door
Change my clothes and even my hair-do!

Ooo Ooo Ooo, Schneit, Schneit, Schneit

I'm in love with the Ooo-ooo man
He was born and raised in Schneit Schneit land
And his first name is the same as his last

Even though he doesn't think of me
Day & night, night & day (and probably barely)
That doesn't mean I think of him less
(In fact I think of other things rarely)

Ooo Ooo Ooo, Schneit, Schneit, Schneit

Remember girls, please don't stop hoping
Never say your love is wasted
Love is only for giving
And something that cannot be taken

Ooo Ooo Ooo, Schneit, Schneit, Schneit
Ooo Ooo Ooo, Schneit, Schneit, Schneit

Thank you ever so, oh Schneit Schneit land
Schneit, Schneit land, Schneit Schneit land
For giving the world a grand boy
Presenting his friends with his Ooo Ooo's
And bringing so very much joy-oy.

"I'm gonna go put on my rubber chicken suit with the beak."

I'm in love with the Ooo-ooo man
He was born and raised in Schneit Schneit land
I'm in love, I'm in love
I'm in love, I'm in love
I'm in love, I'm in love
Im in love, I'm in love . . .