Agency Man

FZ album(s) in which song has appeared

The Old Masters Box Two—Mystery Disc (1986) as Agency Man (Studio Version), recorded at Apostolic Studios, New York, NY, 1968
- same version on Zappa—Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (2020)
Ahead Of Their Time (1993) as Agency Man, performed in London, UK, October 25, 1968
- same version, different edit, on The Old Masters Box Two—Mystery Disc (1986) as Agency Man
  - same version on Uncle Meat (The Movie) (1988)

Tour(s) on which song is known to have been performed (main source: FZShows, v. 7.1)

Early 1967 (MOI)
September-October 1968 (2nd MOI European Tour)—known performances: 1
October-December 1980 (North America)—known quotations: 1

Comments

Neil Slaven, Electric Don Quixote—The Definitive Story Of Frank Zappa, 2003, p. 85-86

Another, this time full-page, ad appeared in the next issue [of Freep, early February 1967] with the headline, "HEAR THE NEW M.O.I. SONGBOOK". The [...] "Songs We Just Learned This Week That Will Sound Crappy" were 'Agency Man' 'Wherein RONALD REAGAN is elected to the PRESIDENCY because nobody took the time to stop him' and 'Archie's Home.'

The different versions (studio vs. live)

studio version		lyrics	live version
KSAN, November 10, 1968	Mystery Disc (1986)	lyrics	Mystery Disc (1986)	Ahead Of Their Time (1993)
1:09-1:56	0:00-0:45	[piano intro]	0:00-0:52	0:00-0:52
1:56-2:35		Sell us a president, agency man Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps Sell us a president, agency man A gay smiling nothing we know never craps (Never goes doo-doo.)	0:52-1:28	0:52-1:28
2:35-2:58	1:17-1:39	One, two, three, four! When he's closed the schools And burned the books the way we've planned We'll get the press together And the Barry Sadler Band! (Another one!)
2:58-3:02		(All right.) One. Two. One, two, three.
3:02-3:45	1:39-2:21	(Rousing, mmh . . . ) When he's closed the schools And burned the books the way we've planned We'll get the press together And the Barry Sadler Band! With lots to drink from 9 o'clock They'll all be bombed by 10 We'll reveal he's bound for Washington And sell him once again! FZ: Okay! Ray: That ending— That ending comes up like ransa-pransa-prance . . . FZ: Okay, now the next ransa-pransa . . .
3:45-4:06		Let's try California, (Pay us first before we do it!) We'll get a smiling nazi And march him right on through it Rent a baby, kiss a baby Ladies in for tea And here's a bunch of speeches We'll toss them in for free		1:28-1:52
4:06-4:08		(piano intro)		1:52-2:39
4:08-4:41	0:45-1:17	Sell us a president, agency man Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps Sell us a president, agency man A gay smiling nothing we know never craps		1:52-2:39
4:41-4:59		We'll sell him in the movies On the tube throughout the year We'll sell him by the buckets To the Okies drinking beer We'll teach him how to walk and talk We'll putty up his chin We'll print his picture everywhere Of . . .	1:28-1:46	2:39-2:58
4:59-5:13	2:46-2:59	. . . course the SCHMUCK will win FZ: You gotta, you gotta sing, "Of course the schmuck will win" on the end. Ray: Yeah . . . Roy: Take it, Don. Ray: . . . that sound kind of funny if we're rumpa-pumping and then we stop and go uh, "Of course the schmuck will win." FZ: Yeah, it's a little funny.	1:28-1:46	2:39-2:58
5:13-5:15		(rump-pump-pump)
5:15-5:35	2:26-2:46	One, two . . . We'll sell him in the movies On the tube throughout the year We'll sell him by the buckets To the Okies drinking beer We'll teach him how to walk and talk We'll putty up his chin We'll print his picture everywhere Of . . .
5:35-6:19		. . . course the SCHMUCK will win Sell us a president, agency man Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps Sell us a president, agency man A gay smiling nothing we know never craps
6:19-6:24	2:21-2:26	FZ: Go!
6:24-6:53	2:59-3:27	People are a lot of pigs They're greedy and they're dumb I'm sure that's just a simple truth Look how far he's come!
6:24-6:53	2:59-3:27	From the heart of old Death Valley To the ruling of our land A simple trick, you simple pigs Just the way we planned	1:46-2:05	2:58-3:17