Any Kind Of Pain

FZ album(s) in which song has appeared


Tour(s) on which song is known to have been performed (main source: FZShows, v. 7.1)



Foggy G, "The Songs That Were Played," We're Only In It For The Touring

OCT-NOV 76: Not played as such, but during a 10/24 performance of "Advance Romance", Frank and Bianca sing a simplified version of the chorus, while O'Hearn plays the supporting bass part.

1988: Essentially performed as on BTHW, with the standard deviation coming in Frank's solo, Albert Wing's saxophone fills, and the random keyboard noises interspersed throughout. Also, the line following "When she's in a bold mood" changes almost nightly at the whim of Frank. While the original line (used very infrequently) is "Nuk-ya-ler", Frank frequently substitutes it for the word of his choice. This new word frequently derives from the Secret Word of the night, or then serves as the source for the Secret Word; and since this song typically comes in the early portions of each show, it usually plays a major part in the Secret Word development. This is another instance in which Frank writes a potential hit song, but then sabotages it with potentially offensive lyrics. This song had been around since December of '76, when instrumental portions of it appeared during the run of Palladium shows documented on ZINY. It disappeared for several years before reappearing during rehearsals for the Fall '81 tour, but unfortunately never made it to an official concert. Finally, it appears here and becomes one of the most performed songs of the tour.

The original lyrics

Chris Ekman

I'm just getting back to Zappa after giving it a rest for a while, and remembered that I've got some 1981 rehearsal tapes with an early version of Any Kind of Pain, with different lyrics that I've not seen typed up elsewhere. So, I thought I'd transcribe them for use in the Unreleased Lyrics section of your site. Here they go:

[Note: the verses are musically very different from the 1988 version—more than anything else, they sound like Daddy Daddy Daddy.]

You are the girl somebody invented
in an office building on Madison Ave.
The world could be crumblin' all over your head,
but you smile like an angel 'cause (you? they?) crave what you have

Your head's full of bubbles, your nose is petite
You look like you never get nothin' to eat
'Cept salads and juices, but never too sweet
You are totally odorless, even your feet

You are (?) and I'm sure, you could end every war
With a wave of your hand, you'd have total command
over millions of boys who would get you the toys
that you'd need to sustain your plastic domain

Then there are some who, when they see you, it's true,
think of disgusting little things they could do
over and under, around and through
the places where nature appointed you

They sit around and say:
[chorus, which sounds the same as the 1988 version, except every line is 'You'd take any kind of pain for me, wouldn't you, baby', not just the first.]

There is your picture, you look very nice
They see you struggle in a torture device
When you perspire, they will pack you in ice
When you go once, they will make you go twice

You're just a fantasy, but you're:
[chorus again. On one tape, Frank suggests 'Vinnie's umbrella' as a replacement for one of the 'wouldn't you baby's.]

Conceptual Continuity

The "Porn Wars" voices:


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This page updated: 2022-07-21