FZ:

Well, basically, what I'm doing is providing entertainment. Even if I'm writing music for an orchestra. It's all entertainment.

One, two!

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

A foolish young man
Of the Negro Persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki
("Uhuru!")
For some Jordache Jeans
He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I ain't no NIGGER no more!
Hey! Hey! Hey!"

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham
You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis
You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis
You are what you is . . .

Ike Willis, Tommy Mars, David Logeman, Arthur Barrow, Ray White. Thanks for coming to the concert. Good night.

You are what you is
An' that's all it 'tis

FZ:

You know some people, uh, go to Vienna and they say, "Ah! Vienna!" You know? I go to New York and go, "Ah! New York!" I just like it. Feels good to me. I feel comfortable there, I feel like I belong there.

I like that place. And if it's one of my favorite places is because the things that happen there and the kind of people that go there, and uh, I've seen other groups play there and I thought, "Hey, it'd be fun to go and do it myself." So, we did it.

And all of the rest of whom for which
To whensonever of partially indeterminate
Bio-chemical degradation
Seek the path to the sudsy yellow nozzle
Of their foaming nocturnal
Parametric digital inter-faith whole-wheat
Geo-thermal terpsichorean ejectamenta
In Serious Leather
In Serious Chains

Steven Mass:

This place was the antithesis of everything that the disco aesthetic at the time dictated, which, which was to have a beautiful name first of all, Reflections, or Ice Powers, or Scarlet Peacock or something of that nature. So as a purely conceptual statement I named it "Mudd," not because I wanted to related it to mud, but just because I wanted to create an antithesis to that kind of beautiful people reality.

Mudd Club

And then we made it very hard to find, very hard to get into, which probably was good solid advertising sense, even though I didn't realise it at the time, because if you irritate your clientele to a degree, they'll remember it.

Mudd Club

I think Sylvester Stallone came in once and, in a really gorgeous blue Cadillac, custom painted, two Cadillacs, and he stayed about 15 minutes and he said, "But this is such a dump!" Heh, heh. He just couldn't grasp it, that you don't have to have marble floors to have a place where social gathering could take place in.

FZ:

I don't know what, what its social standing is right now because when it's time to evaluate clubs you have to be very careful, in terms— the evaluation being in terms of whether or not this particular club is happening, you know, according to all the New York fashionable people. I don't know whether it's happening anymore or not. It was at one time a very fashionable place but I've been going there for about a year and half and uh, I've seen the clientele change quite a bit, in fact I was there the night after we played there and it was a totally different crowd—they were all secretaries from Queens or Long Island, all dressed up and, you know, doing disco dancing and, it was funny. I don't know whether the place is happening or not but I just like it and I wanted to play there.

 

Fan #1:

I love his music, simple. I've been following him since he first came out. I saw him at the Garrick, I saw him at the Fillmore, I'm gonna see him until I die. I just think he's the greatest musician on Earth. [...], folks.

Rudi:

And you?

Fans:

[...]

FZ:

These are some of our fans, just having a good time in the dressing room. And I want you to know [...] behavior . . .

Fans:

[...]

Thomas Nordegg:

[...]

Al Malkin:

[...]

Zappa:

"Let's jog . . . "

Everybody dance!

No pain
No pain
No pain

Beauty knows no pain
So what you cryin' about
Girl
Beauty knows no pain
So what you cryin' about
Girl
Beauty knows no
Beauty knows no
Beauty knows no

Even if you're plain
You could be tryin' it out
Girl
Even if you're plain
You could be tryin' it out
Girl
Beauty is no
Beauty is no
Beauty is no
Beauty is a bikini wax 'n waitin' for your nails to dry
Beauty is a colored pencil, scribbled all around your eye
Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die

Beauty is a
Beauty is a
Beauty is a
Lie

Rudi:

Ah, to go back to the tour, is it— As you've seen it now, it's a very, very hard, solid work, to be, to be on tour. Ah, how do you still manage to do it? I mean, your body is now, how, how long—?

FZ:

39.

Rudi:

39?

FZ:

I'll be 40 on December 21st.

Rudi:

How do you manage to, to get all this pressure of the tour with twenty, thirty, forty, fifty dates? How do you keep this up?

FZ:

Actually the tour is seventy dates.

Rudi:

[...]?

FZ:

Yeah. I do it because I like to play music. I don't like to travel, I don't like trains, airports, airplanes, boats, riding in cars. I like to play the guitar, I like to sing, and I like to make people happy. And I like to hear my music. And the rest of the stuff is really boring, you know, but I have to pull up with it.

[...]With this last cable much exposure, the landscape will go zipping by.

Philadelphia Train Station Announcement:

The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload go to the white zone. Pass away to Mr. Frank Zappa and his fans have choose to ride [...] Philadelphia wants to let you know [...]. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load or unload go to the white zone.

One, two, three, four . . .

Hey there, people, I'm Bobby Brown
They say I'm the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous school
I'm dressin' sharp, I'm actin' cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work 'n maybe later I'll rape her

Oh God, I am the American dream
I do not think I'm too extreme
An' I'm a handsome sonofabitch
I'm gonna get a good job 'n be real rich
(Get a good, get a good, get a good, get a good job)

Women's Liberation
Came creepin' all across the nation
I tell you people, I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie
She made a little speech then
Aw, she tried to make me say when
She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
I guess it's still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

Oh God, I am the American dream
But now I smell like Vaseline
An' I'm a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady . . . I don't know which
(I wonder wonder, wonder wonder)

So I went out 'n bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I'm still kinda cute
Got a job doin' radio promo
An' none of the jocks can even tell I'm a homo
Eventually me 'n a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the Tower of Power
'Long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh God, I am the American dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An' I'll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin', "Thank you, Fred!"
Oh God, Oh God, I'm so fantastic!
Thanks to Freddie, I'm a sexual spastic
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin' down
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, I'm goin' down
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now, because the name of this song is . . .

I'm going to be in places
I didn't know I have
They got me doing things
I'd never thought I could
Feeling good
Feeling strong
Part of something
I belong

The Army can make you feel a lot of ways, challenged, trained and proud.

With this time
With this people
With this feeling
Feeling good

Special delivery . . .
OH NO
It's registered mail, buddy, you're gonna hafta sign fer this
OH NO
C'mon out, I know you're in there
OH NO

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna go
I don't wanna get drafted
PHOOEY!

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna go
I don't wanna get drafted
NO-OH-WOH-OH-WOH . . .

Roller skates 'n disco
It's a lot of fun
I'm too young 'n stupid
To operate a gun

I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted
I don't wanna get drafted

FZ:

Well, the draft is bad business. Uh, first of all they're gonna have to spend a lot of money just to put the machinery of the draft back together. Then they're gonna have to capture all of these unwilling participants, they're gonna have to ship them to the place where they're gonna train 'em. They have to clothe them. They have to feed them. They have to train them and they have to pay them a salary, and not one of them wants to be there, and what's gonna happen? They're going to fight some place and they'll shoot each other in the foot. They don't want to be soldiers. And when you take somebody and put them in a position that they don't want to be in you can't expect good results. If they increase the numbers of people in the United States Army to 4 million, 20 million, whatever, if they don't want to be there their army is useless.

And besides that, at this moment, we don't have the machinery to move a large army to anyplace else in the world in a hurry. It would take months to move large numbers of men to any troubled spot in the world. So it's foolish. To me it sounds like just one of those things that happens during an election year. You know, the guy says, "Eh, draft all these people," and it looks like a big thing, but it's not good business, it's not the right way to have a good army.

And I think every country should have an army, but it should be composed of people who want the military life and who have an interest in being soldiers. And there are people like that in the United States. I don't know whether they are or not in Austria, I mean a lot of skiers there—but in the United States there are people who like to smash, kill, mutilate, and stab and blow things up—there are people like this here, you know, why don't we have them in the army, where they can really do some good. You wanna know why? Because they have these commercials on television advertising for people to join the army, and, I don't know whether you've seen any of them, but they say this, "Join the Army. In four years you'll save enough money to go to college." You don't want an army full of people waiting to go to college, you want people who want to smash, and kill, and blow up, and stab, and you know, do horrible stuff, because they like it, all right?

The way they should advertise to the volunteer army is to do a commercial that says, "Hey, how many of you guys wanna kick ass?" And then the people who'd wanna kick ass would go, "Hey, I wanna kick some ass, let's go down there," you know, "Now I can do it legitimately." Every, every weekend in bars all across the United States people beat themselves up, uh, stab each other, shoot each other, you know, 'cause they've got nothing else to do. They should find a place to apply that talent.

My-y-y sister don't wanna get drafted
She don't wanna go
My sister don't wanna get drafted
My-y-y sister don't wanna get drafted
She don't wanna go
My sister don't wanna get drafted
NO-OH-WOH-OH-WOH

Wars are really ugly
They're dirty and they're cold
I don't want nobody
To shoot her in the fox hole . . . fox hole

I don't wanna get drafted
(No, no, no no no)
I don't wanna get drafted
(No, no no no no, no no)
I don't wanna get drafted
(No, don't touch me)
I don't wanna get drafted
(Ooh, that tickled)

Wars are really ugly
They're dirty and they're cold
I don't want nobody
To shoot her in the fox hole . . . fox hole

Aiieeeeeeeee . . . shot in the fox hole
Aiieeeeeeeee . . . shot in the fox hole

Rudi:

[...] your new movie Baby Snakes?

FZ:

It's 2 hours and 40 43 minutes long, it has music, animation and unusual forms of behaviourbehavior. And it's supposed to go into general release in June and I don't know when it's going to Europe.

Rudi:

Is it true that there were some difficulties because it's that long to have distribution, because it's unusual?

FZ:

Yes.

Rudi:

But you don't change it.

FZ:

No.

Rudi:

[...]

FZ:

Yeah.

Rudi:

Umm . . .

FZ:

'Cause basically the film is for people who already like what we do, and the ones who already like what we do would sit there even if it's ten hours long, 'cause they really enjoy it.

Rudi:

What happened to your classical ambitions?

FZ:

I still write orchestral music but, you know, nobody'll ever hear it.

Rudi:

You're sure?

FZ:

Well, I don't wanna say never, but uh, the chances of the music being played are not very good, because every time we start negotiating with somebody about having a performance of it all these problems arise, and it always come down to how much money they're willing to spend to do it, because we've had some offers by orchestras who say, "Yes, we'd love to play it but we'll give you two rehearsals," and it's impossible to play it in two rehearsals. You just can't do it. And I would rather not have it played than having somebody play it wrong.

Most of the record companies as well as the film companies are all under the control of accountants. And so if you wish to know what the future of music will be, go to H&R Block, which is an accountant firm that does your income tax in the United States. Go the H&R Block and ask one of the guys there what his favorite song is, and you'll find what the future of music will be in the United States.

They have these publications, like Rolling Stone, and Creem, and all the ones that are popular in the United States, and they've been around for a long time, and so have I, and they've been writing me off for about twelve years now. I've been in the business about fifteen years, first three years it was pretty good, but after that they got tired of me and they started saying that I was finished, that I was no good, and I keep going, and the audience keeps getting bigger, and I keep selling more records, but they have this editorial view point that they have to uphold that they could never admit in print that they have been wrong for twelve years, they'll never admit it and they're always gonna have to say, "He's finished, he can't do anything, this is all terrible music, it's no good, everybody hates it, don't buy it, don't touch it." And the more they say it the more kids come to the show and the more people listen to the music and the more they like it. And they wind up looking foolish, because I keep going and they're still wrong.

It wasn't very large
There was just enough room to cram the drums
In the corner over by the Dodge
It was a fifty-four
With a mashed up door
And a cheesy little amp
With a sign on the front said
"Fender Champ"
And a second-hand guitar
It was a Stratocaster with a whammy bar

We could jam in Joe's Garage
His mama was screamin'
His dad was mad
We was playin' the same old song
In the afternoon 'n sometimes we would
Play it all night long
It was all we knew, 'n easy too
So we wouldn't get it wrong
Even if you played it on a saxophone

We thought we was pretty good
We talked about keepin' the band together
'N we figured that we should
'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye
From the girls in the neighborhood
They'd all come over 'n dance around like . . .

So we picked out a stupid name
Had some cards printed up for a coupla bucks
'N we was on our way to fame
Got matching suits
'N Beatle Boots
'N a sign on the back of the car
'N we was ready to work in a Go-Go Bar

People seemed to like our song
They got up 'n danced 'n made a lotta noise
An' it wasn't 'fore very long
A guy from a company we can't name
Said we oughta take his pen
'N sign on the line for a real good time
But he didn't tell us when
These "good times" would be somethin'
That was really happenin'
So the band broke up
An' it looks like
We will never play again . . .

Guess you only get one chance in life
To play a song that goes like . . .

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
'N grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat

My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt . . . when . . . I
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Ike Willis, Tommy Mars, David Logeman, Arthur Barrow, Ray White, thanks for coming to the concert, good night!