Sleep Dirt

 

He used to be very kind . . .
(In his own crude way)
He wasn't always like I wanted him to be!

He wasn't smart
He wasn't handsome either
But he thrilled me
When he drilled me
And I've never loved a monster quite like HE . . .

Because his
Love
Was so
'FLAM-BAY'!

His kisses burned me so
His kisses turned me
From a Queen
On a throne
To a SHRIVELLING STOOL!

Here I stand,
All alone:
A SPIDER'S FOOL!
(When it's ME he needs
To fondle his tool!)

I guess some
Bugs
Are just
THAT WAY!

He don't really need your love
He don't really NEED you . . .

To be there
When his hair
Gets matted and gray,
With a broom
Cleaning his room,
From the mess he made that day
Out of Earthling arms
He nibbled away!

Oh HUNCHENTOOT, my love
How could you desert me now?
Oh, HUNCHENTOOT you brute!
Can't you see I WANT you

Stay with me!
FLAGRANTLY!
And we'll have ECSTASY
For ALL ETERNITY!

Because your
Love
Is so
'FLAM-BAY'

You kisses burn me so!
Your kisses turn me
From a Queen
On a throne
To a SHRIVELLING STOOL!

I don't mind
If you're unkind, 'cause
SPIDERS RULE!

Yes, YOU'RE ALL REAL COOL,
With those little WEBS you SPOOL,
And all your 'SPIDER DROOL' . . . Oh!
Let me float in your pool!

Listen carefully,
SPIDER OF DESTINY!
You must heed the call
Of COSMO-BIOLOGY!
Listen to me!

If you eat the Earthlings now,
Things will all be fine, AND THEN,
We'll repair our love somehow,
And resume the busy schedule
Of our RUTHLESS CONQUEST once again!

Listen carefully,
SPIDER OF DESTINY!
I will not allow
This marvellous
OPPORTUNITY
To be taken from me!
TAKEN from me!

EAT THE EARTH PEOPLE!
EAT THEM, AND CHEW THEM, AND BRUTALLY
STOMP ON THE REST OF WHAT'S LEFT
AND THEN REPORT TO ME . . .
FOR THE CONQUEST OF EARTH,
(AND THE MOON AND THE STARS),
AND THE SPACE IN BETWEEN
ALL THE COMETS AND STUFF
WILL BE OURS!

EAT THE EARTH PEOPLE!
EAT THEM, AND CHEW THEM, AND BRUTALLY
STOMP ON THE REST OF WHAT'S LEFT
STOMP ON THE REST OF WHAT'S LEFT
STOMP ON THE REST OF WHAT'S LEFT

 

Time is money . . .
But Space is a long, long time!

Perhaps you are surprised
To see I speak your language?

But I have been monitoring
Your Earthly broadcasts for
Many years . . .
For many years . . .
And the reception on my little planet
Is extremely fine!

Time is money . . .
Space is a long, long time!
On my lonely throne
In the cosmic night I ponder the vast expanses
Between your puny world and mine!

From my Couch-In-The-Sky,
As my planet goes by,
I behold all your misery below there!
I have seen all your lying,
And crying, and dying,
And, believe me,
YOUR planet is NOWHERE!

SPACE is a VERY LONG TIME!

(And if the equation,
As set forth above,
Is PROVED when we get to
The BOTTOM LINE . . .
The 'Powers Financial'
I'll hold o'er your world
Will complete my fantastic design!)

And the whole 'EQUIVALENT EARTH' SHALL BE MINE!

And the whole 'EQUIVALENT EARTH' SHALL BE MINE!

And the whole 'EQUIVALENT EARTH' SHALL BE MINE!

MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!
MINE!

FZ: Arf . . .
Birdlegs: About that tempo?
FZ: Mm-hm

Birdlegs: Damn!
FZ: Gettin' tired?
Birdlegs: No, unh-unh . . . my fingers got stuck!

[6:41]
O'Hearn: Damn it!