Joe's Garage Acts I, II & III

1. SCENE ONE: Entrance Of The Central Scrutinizer

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• See also ARF: Notes & Comments.

Arthur Barrow, "Frank Zappa," Arthur Barrow's Page

"The Central Scrutinizer" actually started out as a new version of "My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mama". You can sing the words to "My Guitar" right over "Central" and the chord changes will happen in just the right spots.

He looks like a cheap sort of flying saucer about five feet across with a snout-like megaphone apparatus in the front with two big eyes mounted like Appletons with miniature motorized frowning chrome eyebrows over them.

"Appleton Spotlight," Wikipedia, November 12, 2020

Appleton spotlights, or simply Appletons, were a common feature in early automobiles, up to the "muscle car" era. The bullet-shaped spotlights (usually installed in pairs) included a handle which was mounted through the side window pillar of the cab (just above the hood) into the interior of the vehicle. This allowed an occupant to maneuver the direction or focus of the spotlight beam with a simple twisting motion.

It is obvious that the way he really gets around is by being dangled from place to place by a union guy with a dark green shirt up in the roof who is eating a sandwich.

• See notes on "Rudy Wants To Buy Yez A Drink" on Chunga's Revenge (1970).

2. SCENE TWO: Joe's Garage

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Arthur Barrow, Of Course I Said Yes!, 2016, p. 89

After a show in Munich [March 31, 1979], several of the band members were hanging around with Frank talking about our garage band experiences as kids. [...] I mentioned that I had a secondhand Stratocaster, and that we played next to the old green Dodge in the family garage. We all had some good laughs, and normally, that would have been the end of it. But Zappa, of course, was nowhere near normal.

Arthur Barrow, "Frank Zappa," Arthur Barrow's Page

I can remember being back stage with Frank and other band members at one of the last shows of the winter 1979 tour reminiscing about our various garage band experiences. I recall mentioning about the old Dodge in my garage, and everyone seemed to have a good garage band story. This was when Frank got the idea for the title song "Joe's Garage".

[...] I played Fender Jazz bass on all my tracks except for "Joe's Garage", which I came in later to overdub the final bass track on my Fender Precicison, both basses stock and going direct into the mixing board. I also had the privilige of playing the main "reetooreetooreetoo . . . " theme on my Stratocaster with a whammy bar on "Joe's" in a simultaneuos overdub together with Warren. (Unfortunately, my guitar playing was not credited.) We recorded at the Village Recorders in West L.A. in a room that no longer really exists after remodeling.

Warren Cuccurullo, interviewed by Andrew Greenaway, June 3, 2018

I can confirm Arthur's story. When he told me a few years ago, I was like, "Yeah. holy shit! That was so much fun! Can't believe I didn't remember it."

In retrospect, the whammy bar Strat part was the ONLY thing for that guitar. The first of the guitar overdub sessions. Different set-up/mics, etcetera. Once that was put away, it was all Les Paul and Coral Sitar.

FZ, interviewed by Ben Manilla, WLIR Free Flight, summer, 1981

The song "Joe's Garage" was written at the Hotel Romershakizer [Römischer Kaiser] in Dortmund, Germany, and the guitar part was written during a sound check at a place in France. But, you know, you put things together piece by piece during a period of time and then the final work all takes place in the studio. [...]

It's patterned after general conditions of garage behavior that I've learned about. I've participated in some of the things that are spoken about in the "Joe's Garage" story, I think that it's a general kind of story that could apply to anybody's garage band.

(It makes its own sauce . . . if you add water)

Stucco Holmes, Zappateers, August 2, 2016

"Makes its own sauce when you add water" is a Gravy Train dog food commercial I'm pretty sure anyway.

Larry (Fanoga)

At this point, LARRY (a guy who will eventually give up music and earn a respectable living as a roadie for a group clled Toad-O) joins in the song . .

Them Or Us (The Book) (1984), p. 72

LARRY FANOGA (a guy who wants to ride a PONY while wearing a pointed blue foil party hat, but will eventually settle for a job as a roadie for a group called 'TOAD-O') joins in:

• Larry Fanoga appears on Lumpy Gravy (1968); Joe's Garage Act I (1979) as Larry; "German Lunch" on You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 5 (1992); Civilization Phaze III (1994); The Lumpy Money Project/Object (2009); Frank Zappa's 200 Motels (1971) as The Newt Rancher; and Them Or Us (The Book) (1984).

3. SCENE THREE: Catholic Girls

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Rian Malan, "Frank Zappa," Music Maker, August 31, 1979

Rian: I believe there's a song called Catholic Girls on the new album. Is that to atone for Jewish Princess?

Zappa: No, it was written long before Jewish Princess.

FZ, interviewed by Dan Forte, M.I., November 1979

A lot of shit going on. During the fadeout you hear the resolution of all the choral stuff from the front part of the song, plus a bass singer who's not only performing the function of the rhythm and blues bass vocalist but is giving you an assortment of Italian melodies as part of the bass line. And on top of all that is the melody from "Jewish Princess" played on an electric sitar. Now, that's Charles Ives. Charlie would've been proud of that little number!

Arthur Barrow, "Frank Zappa," Arthur Barrow's Page

The difficult middle sections of "Greasy" and "Catholic" were quickly thrown together in the studio right before we recorded them. For the "Catholic" middle section, Frank told Vinnie and I to work out the odd time changes on our own, which we did.

The libretto

FATHER RILEY making sure the lights don't go down too low . . .

There was a chaplain called Father James O'Reilly who wrote a regular column on the Mount St. Mary's College students magazine The View around the time FZ performed there in 1963.

Warren Cuccurullo . . .

Warren Cuccurullo, interviewed by Anne Carlini, "Destination Known: To Become A Solid Member Of Society," July 1, 2001

Do you know the first words that [Dale Bozzio] ever sang in her entire life? 'Warren Cuccurullo!' Those were the first words she ever sang! There's that song 'Catholic Girls,' and there's the line leading up to it, 'when they're learning to blow all the Catholic boys,' Dale sings 'Warren Cuccurullo.'! Frank made her sing that line.

Kinda young, kinda WOW!

Keith Shiner (quoted in Arf: Notes & Comments)

"Kinda young, kinda wow" was the trendy slogan for a fragrance aimed at young women called "Charlie" if I'm not mistaken. Just another TV Head from the 60s-70s......

FZ, interviewed by Dave Rothman, Oui, April 1979

Then there are ads for women's cosmetics. Any woman who buys one of those products because of all that's written in those ads is . . . hurting. You know—kinda young, kinda wild, Charlie.

YouTube

• Shelley Hack 1970's Charlie By Revlon Perfume Commercial [with Bobby Short, 1977] (0:31 min.)
• Revlon Charlie Commercial (April 2, 1979) [with Mel Tormé] (0:29 min.)

• See also "Charlie's Enormous Mouth" on You Are What You Is (1981).

4. SCENE FOUR: Crew Slut

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Arthur Barrow, "Frank Zappa," Arthur Barrow's Page

Surpisingly, the track that was hardest to get to Frank's satisfaction was "Crew Slut". We did it over and over untill Frank thought we had the right "feel".

FZ, interviewed by Paul Colbert, Musicians Only, January 26, 1980

"Crew Slut" was another one, that was about a real person.

It looks just like a Telefunken U-47
You'll love it . . .

"Frank Zappa's Microphone Collection Restored," Mix, July 14, 2007

[Telefunken | USA CEO Toni] Fishman explains, "Frank Zappa had assembled a very original and complete collection of extremely rare and valuable German and Austrian microphones, unused since his passing. [...] We went through three Telefunken U47s, four Neumann M49s, a beautiful matched pair of Neumann M50s, circa 1950, and four AKG C-24s, circa 1960."

• The Telefunken U47 is also mentioned on "Sy Borg."

5. SCENE FIVE: The Wet T-Shirt Contest

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Arthur Barrow, "Frank Zappa," Arthur Barrow's Page

As I recall, the basic tracks were cut with Vinnie, Warren, Peter, Denny (on some cuts) and Frank or Ike on vocals. Some of the songs that are segued together were actually recorded that way as basic tracks. Frank recorded the basic tracks to several songs in a single take, a recording studio rarity. An example is "T-shirt/Toad/Why Does it"—recorded in one chunk without edits. (Of course, there were overdubs later.) I was getting mighty tired during the long samba section of "Toad", I can tell you! During the recording of that basic track, there was no talking between Frank and Mary as there is on the final mix. Frank did not yet know what he was going to do there, so he just told us to do the vamp untill he gave the signal to go into "Why Does It". We had no idea it would go on for nearly as long as it did!

Arthur Barrow, Of Course I Said Yes!, 2016, p. 74

On September 10th [1978], it was a flight back across the ocean to the states straight to Florida, where we had a few days off at a hotel on the beach. It was during this time that a club in Miami provided another source of inspiration for Frank, a Wet T-shirt contest.

FZ, interviewed by Dave Rothman, Oui, April 1979

OUI: Have you done anything interesting while you've been here in Florida?

ZAPPA: The other night we were out cruising in the limo when we passed a place that had a sign out front saying war T-SHIRT NITE, so all the guys went "Arrreeeyarrrghhh!" We go in and there's one hundred guys and three girls and a couple of barmaids and a band. There were a couple people dancing. We sit down and have a couple drinks. Pretty soon the place starts filling up and the band starts playing. Then they announce the wet T-shirt contest. They have some guy who's the M.C., and in order to prove he's really a cool guy and not merely an M.C., naturally he has to join in with the band and sing a couple Elvis Presley numbers. Well, a-one for the money and all that shit. He had one of those Bible-person haircuts that looks like it's made out of chewing gum and it's real neat around your ears and sort of poofy up front—the Jehovah's Witness look. The Bible cut. He has on a Marine sportcoat. After he sings his numbers, with a flourish and a drum roll, it's time for the contest. They have these five girls: Big C from Boston; a skinny dark-skinned-nationality-type girl; then there's this large girl with blonde hair; then there's this girl who's shaped like a huge tomato, who introduces herself as the good fairy from Never-Never Land; then, last but not least, there's this girl from California with the classic dumb-blonde look. Classic. Couldn't dance. Nice tits. Shapely body. Everybody thought: OK, here's the one. Meanwhile, the M.C. is making all the dumbest comments in the world. He's trying to emcee the show and come on to these chicks simultaneously. It was right on the level of va-va-vooomm!! Really stupid. They tried to drag it out as long as they could. First they do it with the "dry look." Then a break, then they're gonna do it with the "wet look." I didn't even stay for the "wet look" part, because the first part was so boring. I heard later that the dumb girl won and the big girl got booed off because she wouldn't flash her tits—she got very upset and wouldn't come out of her dressing room and tried to get out by a secret exit . . . It was real pathetic. I'm glad I went there or else I wouldn't have had a chance to see the phenomenon in the flesh.

OUI: Are you going to compose anything around the event?

ZAPPA: Yeah, but I don't want to get specific about the names. What I want to capture is the essence of the event. Somebody's going to win, somebody's going to lose, the M.C. is going to be a schmuck and the audience is the real star of the show. What are their motives? What do they think they're gonna get out of this? It's total desperation. I think I comprehend that event pretty good.

Oh . . . you were the girl that was stuck to seat 38 on Phydeaux III . . .

• See notes on Phydeaux tour buses.

And here comes THE WATER! (EEEK!) No, you'd squeak more if the water got on you . . . sounds like you just got an ice pick in the forehead . . . AND HERE COMES THE ICE PICK IN THE FOREHEAD . . . a million laughs, Mary!

Warren Cuccurullo, interviewed by Anne Carlini, "Destination Known: To Become A Solid Member Of Society," July 1, 2001

When Frank said 'Here comes the water,' and obviously he didn't douse her with water, Dale went 'Aaaugh.' And he said 'that sounds more like the ice-pick in the forehead,' and she starts cracking up. And he left that in, because it was just one of those kinda things.

6. SCENE SIX: Toad-O Line

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• See notes on "Wet T-Shirt Nite."
• See also ARF: Notes & Comments.

Sources & Edits

7. SCENE SEVEN: Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?

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• See notes on "Wet T-Shirt Nite."
• See also ARF: Notes & Comments.

Liner notes by FZ, 1979

special thanks to Phil Kaufman for asking the eternal question: "Why does it hurt when I pee?"

FZ, interviewed by Paul Colbert, Musicians Only, January 26, 1980

The road manager on that tour went into the toilet on the bus in Germany and I heard this horrifying scream, I didn't know what was going on. And he comes walking out and says "Why does it hurt when I pee?" and the song was written by the end of the trip.

Phil Kaufman, Road Mangler Deluxe, 1993, p. 159-160

We got stuck in a bus on the way to a huge concert (125,000 people) in Saarbrucken, Germany. We were playing with Joan Baez, Ten Years After, The Tubes and others. I said to Frank, "We got to get there two to three hours early because it's a small town." He said, "Oh, fuck that." So the tour bus got stuck in traffic. We were going through the traffic and I had my Wild Turkey sandwich. I was sitting in the back and having a little drink. I went into the toilet which was located in the middle of the bus. Halfway through my piss, I jokingly started screaming and everybody was looking at me. I cried, "Frank, why does it hurt when I pee?" and everybody laughed. By the time we had gotten through the crowd to the venue, he had written a song called "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" scored all the parts, given it out to all the guys in the band and made them play it that day. Needless to say, the band told me to shut my fucking mouth in the future. The song is on an album called Joe's Garage and if you see that album, you'll find a credit on the back which reads, "Special thanks to Phil Kaufman for asking the eternal question: Why does it hurt when I pee?"

Arthur Barrow, Of Course I Said Yes!, 2016, p. 73

My favorite part of the song [...] is the instrumental middle section. [FZ] wanted it to sound similar to one of those English "art rock" bands like King Crimson or Genesis. He described what he wanted as "pseudo English pomposity." I think the climax at the end of that section with the big D major vocal chord is absolutely glorious.

Zing Tree (aka Richard Emmet's Ethereal Tinkler)

Richard Emmet, interviewed by Matthew Galaher, Society Pages #9, 1991

MG: Earlier, you mentioned something about having had a chime Frank used on "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?."

RE: Oh, yeah. I had just built this thing I called a "Zing Tree." It was a piece of wood with different sized brass tubes suspended from it. I brought it in one day.

MG: To his house or to the studio? Did you just happen to have it in your car?

RE: This was before his home studio was finished. Frank had invited me over to the studio in town where they were recording what would later become Joe's Garage. Frank took the Zing Tree and went "ding-ding-ding," and half the tubes fell off, and then he had it taken into the echo chamber, and had it recorded onto quarter inch tape, from which it was later transferred to the song. I didn't know how he would eventually use it until later when I heard it on "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?." Do you recall hearing that?

MG: Where does it crop up?

RE: Right after that line "Why does it hurt when I pee?."

Richard Emmet, "My Time With Frank Zappa," Portland Songwriters Association Newsletter, 2003

I showed [FZ] an instrument I'd built consisting of numerous hollow brass tubes suspended from a wooden bar. When stroked, it produced an ethereal tinkling sound. He took the contraption into his studio and recorded several minutes of improvised tinkling. Not long afterwards, my invention made its debut, perfectly placed, in his poignant song "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" from the Joe's Garage album.

He falls in with a fast crowd and gets seduced by a girl who works at the Jack-In-The-Box, named Lucille

"Jack In The Box," Wikipedia, February 3, 2022

Jack in the Box is an American fast-food restaurant chain founded February 21, 1951, by Robert O. Peterson in San Diego, California, where it is headquartered. The chain has over 2,200 locations, primarily serving the West Coast of the United States.

8. SCENE EIGHT: Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up

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• See ARF: Notes & Comments.

9. Scrutinizer Postlude

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10. SCENE NINE: A Token Of My Extreme

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11. SCENE TEN: Stick It Out

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Michael Branton, "Frank Zappa vs. The World!", BAM Magazine, October 5, 1979

FZ: You can dance to the new one that goes, "Fuck my you ugly son of a bitch." ["Short Girls," a tune on the forthcoming Joe's Garage, Act Two.] That's a good dance song. We'll see if it stirs any excitement in New York.

What's a girl like you
Doing in a place like this?

• This line appears at least in "Flower Punk" on We're Only In It For The Money (1968), "What Kind Of Girl Do You Think We Are?" on Fillmore East—June 1971 (1971), "Stick It Out" on Joe's Garage Acts II & III (1979), "Artificial Rhonda" on Thing-Fish (1984), and "Dancin' Fool" on You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 5 (1992).

Do you come here often?

• This line appears at least in "Stick It Out" on Joe's Garage Acts II & III (1979), "Artificial Rhonda" on Thing-Fish (1984), and "Dancin' Fool" on You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol. 5 (1992).

Wait a minute. . .
I've got it . . .
You're an Italian . . .
What? You're Jewish?
Love your nails . . .
You must be a Libra . . .
Your place or mine?

• See "Dancin' Fool" on Sheik Yerbouti (1979).

12. SCENE ELEVEN: Sy Borg

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Warren Cuccurullo, interviewed by Timothy Behary, March 8, 1996

T.B. How did you get to play the part of Sy Borg on Joe's Garage?

W.C. I was able to talk like this.

Ed Mann, interviewed by Andrew Greenaway, The Idiot Bastard, March 14, 2004

Frank asked me to teach Warren [Cuccurullo] to do the Sy Borg voice (that took 4 seconds) and then we recited the Sy Borg Manifesto together—which was a lot of fun, or course. By that time in a Frank production, everything was fun and Frank was making shit up left and right as icing for his sonic comedy-cake.

FZ, interviewed by Paul Colbert, Musicians Only, January 26, 1980

I think Peter [Wolf] did his keyboard solo on "Sy Borg" three or four times. He has to be satisfied with it, it's his solo. I did specify some of the notes he had to play to cadence it off at the end so it would adhere a little bit better to what was coming up. And usually if there is a solo required in a given spot, I'll tell them what kind of feeling I want for it because it's senseless to take the attitude that we are now making a record and I am going to play the solo of my life.

I share this apartment
With a modified
Gay Bob doll

You'll love it!
It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47.

• See notes for "Crew Slut."

You are a fun person
I like you.
I want to kiss you always.

Ed Mann, interviewed by Andrew Greenaway, The Idiot Bastard, March 14, 2004

You know—I knew that girl! She issued that offer to Peter Wolf and not to me. That was one of my rare intelligent moments in an otherwise reckless youth: politely show her the door and wish her well. She was so young.

Additional informant: Matthew Galaher.

1. SCENE TWELVE: Dong Work For Yuda

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Paul Colbert, "Zappa: Speak Out," Musicians Only, January 26, 1980

Since [the Rainbow incident] he has employed a personal bodyguard, Bald Headed John, who features on JOE'S GARAGE—or at least his name does. Ironically, it was the bodyguard who was in hospital when the album came to be recorded and Terry Bozzio, who had worked out a fair imitation of his voice, was called in to complete the session.

Terry Bozzio, quoted in Legendary Drummer Terry Bozzio 70th Anniversary, Shinko Music Mook, December 21, 2020, p. 40 (translation by Tan Mitsugu)

I have an interesting story. [Uchida] Yuya had a bodyguard named "Gon", and Frank had a huge Afro-American bodyguard named Bald-Headed John [Smothers]. John did a lot of things that he shouldn't have done in Japan.... In fact, he did a lot of things that he shouldn't have done in each and every country [laughs], but it wasn't because he was a bad guy, it was just because he was ignorant. It was like, insisting "Give me a hamburger!" in Europe, where there were no hamburgers. That kind of stupid things. While touring in Japan, John overheard Frank talking to someone and asked Frank, "You mean Don work for Yuta?" He should have said, "You mean Gon works for Yuya?" That's how the song "Dong Work For Yuda" came about. Later on the European tour, we were in a taxi and heard a Cab Calloway song, to which we came up with the phrase "Dong Work for Yuda, Dong, Dong" along.

He took a little walk to the weenie stand
A great big weenie in both his hands
He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt

FZ, Oslo Press Conference, Society Pages, August 1988

Q: What's the story behind sausage?

FZ: Oh, sausesh! Let me try and explain this concept to you. You remember Mr. Smothers, my bodyguard for many years? Well, Mr. Smothers liked sausesh! You see he couldn't pronounce sausage very well because he had false teeth so when he would say it it would come out as sausesh! He discovered the legendary European sausesh! in Copenhagen. They sell them on the street on a piece of waxed paper (two long things with mustard on them). One day, he decided to buy one of these things and eat it. The guys in the band saw this gentlemen walking down the street with these sauseshes! hanging out of his mouth with mustard on them. This is included in a song called "Dong Work For Yuda."

He said, "Ya'll stand back 'cause you might get hurt"

Baby Snakes (1979)

Terry: The tradition of the iron sausage was further perpetuated by one of those private-like European urinal stalls, you know, they have those little walls between them. Where John said, "Boy, I gotta stand back," to make room for the salami, you know.

Make way for the iron shaschige

• See notes for "The Torture Never Stops" on Zoot Allures (1976)

Falcum . . .
Take me to the falcum!

Den Simms, Eric Buxton & Rob Samler, "They're Doing the Interview of the Century—Part 3," Society Pages (US), September 1990

FZ: Once upon a time, on his first trip to Copenhagen, we were playing at a place called the Falkoner Center [...] and we didn't have a limousine. I had to take a cab to the place. We get in the car. It's just this little tiny car, (laughter) not a Fiat, but maybe, slightly larger than a Fiat. You know how big John is [...] and it's a cab, and the driver is Danish, and he doesn't speak English. I get in the back, and John gets in the front, and the cab driver is just sittin' there, 'cause he doesn't know where to go, and John finally realizes that he must tell the driver where to go, so, he just turns to him, and goes, "FALCUM." (laughter), and the guy looks at him, y'know, kinda lookin' up like this, and John goes, "FALCUM." [...] And the guy DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. And then, John gets vehement. He goes, "TAKE ME TO THE FALCUM!" [...] And the driver jumped out of the car [...] and ran into the lobby of the hotel to ask the guy in Danish at the desk (laughs) what the fuck is going on.

2. SCENE THIRTEEN: Keep It Greasey

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FZ, interviewed by Paul Colbert, Musicians Only, January 26, 1980

The solo in "Keep It Greasey"—the rhythm background I think is in 21/16 and the guitar is in 11/4. The beats come together about once a month ..?

Vinnie Colaiuta, interviewed by Robyn Flans, Modern Drummer, November 1982

RF: There was one song, "Keep It Greasey", where I wonder how you were thinking of the time signature.

VC: There's this one part where the actual time signature is 19/16. The feel is like it is 4/4 with three 16th notes tacked onto the end of it. Then there's another part in 21. It was all one live take; no splices or adds or anything. We just rehearsed it. We used to play it on the road and Frank said, "Okay, we're going to elongate that in the studio and that's going to be a solo. You're just going to vamp out until I give you a cue and then we'll go into something else." And bingo, he gave us a cue and zipp, we were in 19/16. We just cut that track with guitar, bass and drums. I don't recall if there was electric piano in that particular solo section or not. We went to Village Recorders one day and just churned out tune after tune, all live, no edits or anything.

Arthur Barrow, Of Course I Said Yes!, 2016, p. 91

Up until the time we got into the studio, we had always played that song in a normal 4/4 time signature, but Frank decided he wanted to do a new version for the recording. The choruses were to stay in 4/4, but the verses were to be changed to odd times: 19/16 and 21/16. As we played the odd time tracks for the verses, he sang more or less in 4/4 over what we were doing in 19 or 21. We were to play the vamp until he reached the end of a verse, then transition back to 4/4 on the choruses. We never knew how many times we would play the vamp before going into the transition.

Sources & Edits

3. SCENE FOURTEEN: Outside Now

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• See also ARF: Notes & Comments.

Sources & Edits

• See notes for "While You Were Out" on Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar (1981)

Patrick O'Hearn

Arthur Barrow, Of Course I Said Yes!, 2016, p. 68

I asked Frank about playing the fretless in his band, and he said no, that he preferred the fretted one, saying that he didn't like all that "slippin' and slidin'" on the fretless. Imagine my surprise when I found out—only after the album came out—that he hired Pat O'Hearn to record fretless bass on two tracks for the first Zappa album I played on, Joe's Garage.

4. SCENE FIFTEEN: He Used To Cut The Grass

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• See notes for "While You Were Out" on Shut Up 'N Play Yer Guitar (1981)

5. SCENE SIXTEEN: Packard Goose

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Arthur Barrow, "Frank Zappa," Arthur Barrow's Page

I'll never forget standing next to Vinnie counting and praying during the incredible drum work in the middle of "Goose." He was doing stuff that was turning my brains inside out—I could hardly believe we pulled it off.

FZ, interviewed by Paul Colbert, Musicians Only, January 26, 1980

I came back [from the road] with a stereo Nagra tape of just guitar solos and thought of songs where they could go. You try to find something that's in the same key but the time signature could be different. In "Packard Goose", the backing is in 4/4 and the solo was played in 15/16 in a totally different tempo. It was from the last show in Zurich during a song called "Easy Meat".

Information is not knowledge

FZ, interviewed by Bob Guccione, Jr., Spin Magazine, July 1991

It's always the free flow of information which is the major threat to the American way of life. To right-wing guys, there's nothing more dangerous than free access to information. And you know what that stems from? It stems from the beginning of Christian theology, when Adam and Eve were in the garden, how did we get into trouble? It wasn't because it was an apple, it was the fruit of the tree of knowledge, so the essence of Christianity is, nobody gets to be smarter than God and access to knowledge and ownership of knowledge damns you. Knowledge itself is the work of the devil. We must not have knowledge and what leads to knowledge? Information. Nip it right there, nip it in the bud.

Love myself better than I love myself . . .
I think . . .

Mike Izzi, September 23, 2013

On Packard Goose from Joe's Garage (my personal fav song on my personal fav album), Ike says:

"Love myself better than I love myself... I think..."

which is a direct quote from a Bill Cosby parody of James Brown's style called:

"I Luv Myself Better Than I Luv Myself" from his 1976 album "Bill Cosby Is Not Himself These Days"

Take a listen (specifically at around 2:40 and 4:27): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STHuWIlzTJ8

Sources & Edits

6. SCENE SEVENTEEN: Watermelon In Easter Hay

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• See also ARF: Notes & Comments.

FZ, interviewed by John Swenson, Guitar World, March 1982

If a drummer overplays, if the bass player overplays or the keyboard overplays . . . if they don't have any sensitivity to what I'm doing or if they aren't smart enough to track the direction that I am going in it's like dragging an anchor. In fact, I'll point out the way that song, "Watermelon in Easter Hay" got its name. It's from the statement that playing a solo with this band is like trying to grow a watermelon in Easter hay. And most of the bands that I've had it was like that. It's been just recently where I've had rhythm sections that don't get in my way and let me do what I am going to do. And also guys playing behind me who are fans of what I play. Not just fans of the group or whatever, but they really enjoy listening to what I am capable of doing given optimum circumstances and they get off on it. When you have somebody pushing you like that and working with you to help make a musical event unnatural or unknown or alien or beyond or scientific or whatever, then it's great. So I enjoy that.

Steve Vai, The Frank Zappa Guitar Book, 1982, p. 5

The guitar solos from Joe's Garage (except "Watermelon In Easter Hay") were solo tracks that were taken from different live concerts through the years and printed on studio rhythm tracks.

FZ, interviewed by Den Simms & Rob Samler, Society Pages, September 1991

The only guitar solo that was "played" in Joe's Garage was "Watermelon In Easter Hay."

. . . ultimately, who gives a fuck anyway?

FZ, interviewed by Den Simms & Rob Samler, Society Pages, September 1991

DS: What can you tell us about the nearly uncontrolled laughter that permeates the beginning of Watermelon In Easter Hay? I believe it has something to do with the phrase "Who gives a fuck?," or something like that, and you're really crackin' up. What was happening during that session that was causing that.

FZ: I had just realized how true the statement was, and I amused the shit out of myself. (laughter)

7. SCENE EIGHTEEN: A Little Green Rosetta

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• See also ARF: Notes & Comments.

FZ, interviewed by Den Simms & Rob Samler, Society Pages, September 1991

DS: Tell us about how A Little Green Rosetta came together. That's a pretty absurd piece.

FZ: A Little Green Rosetta was originally done as a demo at a session at Studio D at the Record Plant . . . circa 1974 . . . about the time we were recording [The Adventures Of] Greggery Peccary . . . '73 or '74, and it was just George Duke playing a tack piano and me singing on top of it. It was just a little stupid song. I always thought it was just a nice little stupid song. It was put into JOE'S GARAGE to function as a replica of a "cast party," like "OK! The show's over! Now everybody in the cast is gonna get together and sing a stupid song!" If it were being staged, that's what it would look like.

Good God, give the drummer some

"Cold Sweat," Wikipedia, May 21, 2011

"Cold Sweat" [(1967)] is the first recording in which [James] Brown calls for a drum solo ("give the drummer some") from Clyde Stubblefield, beginning the tradition of rhythmic "breaks" that would become important in dance music.

Rang Tang Ding Dong, I am the Japanese Sandman . . .

FZ, interviewed by Den Simms & Rob Samler, Society Pages, September 1991

RS: What's the meaning of "Rang Tang Ding Dong, I am the Japanese Sandman"?

FZ; Oh, Rang Tang Ding Dong, I Am the Japanese Sandman is an actual rhythm and blues record that I owned when I was in high school. It was by a group called the Cel-ohs, I believe.

DS: Can't say I heard that one.

RS: I always wondered what that one meant.

FZ: Well, the way it went, they had this chant that went (Frank sings) "He goes Rang Tang Ding Dong . . . humpty doo wah . . . " something like that (laughter), and then it stops, and one guy in the group goes, "Hey! All you guys get to say the big stuff, and all I get to say is (Frank sings) He goes Rang Tang Ding Dong . . . " (laughter)

Ed Mann will call him up later, show him the sign. Okay, Vinnie, where is five?

Arthur Barrow, Of Course I Said Yes!, 2016, p. 66

Frank said, "The guy's a mutation." [...] Sometimes the rhythms would get very complicated, often with "across the bar" figures that lasted many measures before coming back to the original "one." [...]

All of these wild rhythmic goings on were a departure from what some of the "vets" in the band were used to. It even upset one guy so much he made a sign he'd hold up that said "Where's one?" in reference to the downbeat of the measure not being played in an obvious manner. [...] If I lost track of where "one" was, I knew it was me and not Vinnie who was off.

They're pretty good musicians

FZ, interviewed by Karl Dallas, Melody Maker, January 26, 1980

One night after a rehearsal I'm on my way to the car and these three veterans of the band come out and start giving me this ration of shit and the line came up, I think it was from Ed, like "Hey, you know, we're pretty good musicians," and I said, "That's all you are, just pretty good musicians and don't you forget it. There's not one virtuoso in the band and if you don't co-operate it's not going to get done." And so the whole "pretty good musicians" syndrome is built into that song for the amusement of the band.