The Lumpy Money Project/Object

T-1, 27-19.

Oh man, I don't know if I can go through this again!

Okay.
(throat clearing)
Who's playing that with you?
FZ?: The bells.
Harp and the vibes.
FZ (?): Bells, bells.
Do you want me to come a bar shorter there too?
No.
All right.
(cough)

EC: Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh . . . d'you, are you, are you hung up? Are you hung up?
Charlotte: Outa site!
EC: Outa site, yeah—listen, uhm, d'you, are you . . .? Are you hung up?
Charlotte: Ha ha . . . ! What does that mean?
EC: Are you strung up, are you? Are you hung up?
Charlotte: I don't . . . I don't . . . I can't understand . . . Outa site!
EC: Outa site, yeah—listen, uhm, d'you, are you . . .? Are you hung up?

Gary Kellgren: One of these days I am going to erase all the tape in the world . . . In the world . . . world . . . Tomorrow I may do it . . . All the Frank Zappa masters . . . Nothing . . . Blank . . . Empty . . . Space . . . That's what they are now . . . Blank . . . Empty . . . Space . . . Oh, I know he's sitting in there, in the control room now, listening to everything I say, but I really don't care . . . Hello, Frank Zappa!

JCB: Hi, boys & girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, I'm the Indian of the group!

What's there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
Think I'll just drop out
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig and sleep
On Owsley's floor

Walked past the wig store
Danced at the Fillmore
I'm completely stoned
I'm hippy and I'm trippy
I'm a gypsy on my own
I'll stay a week and get the crabs and
Take a bus back home
I'm really just a phony
But forgive me
'Cause I'm stoned

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
Go to San Francisco . . .

How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya, Frisco!
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya
Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
Go to San Francisco . . .

Hotcha!

First I'll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band
To go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
And smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me on the street
I will sleep . . .
I will, I will go to a house
That's, that's what I will do
I will go to a house
Where there's a rock & roll band
'Cause the groups all live together
And I will join a rock & roll band
I will be their road manager
And I will stay there with them
And I will get the crabs
But I won't care

Concentration Moon
Over the camp in the valley
Concentration Moon
Wish I was back in the alley
With all of my friends
Still running free
Hair growing out
Every hole in me

American way
How did it start?
Thousands of creeps
Killed in the park
American way
Try and explain
Scab of a nation
Driven insane
Don't cry
Gotta go bye bye
Suddenly: die die
Cop kill a creep!
Pow! Pow! Pow!

Gary Kellgren: Tomorrow I get to do another Frank Zappa creation . . . and the day after that . . . and the day after that . . .

JCB: Hi, boys & girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, and I'm the Indian of the group.

Concentration Moon
Over the camp in the valley
Concentration Moon
Wish I was back in the alley
With all of my friends
Still running free
Hair growing out
Every hole in me

American way
Threatened by us
Drag a few creeps
Away in a bus
American way
Prisoner: lock
Smash every creep
In the face with a rock
Don't cry
Gotta go bye bye
Suddenly: die die
Cop kill a creep!
Pow! Pow! Pow!

Mama! Mama!
Someone said they made some noise
The cops have shot some girls and boys
You'll sit home and drink all night
They looked too weird, it served them right

Mama! Mama!
Someone said they made some noise
The cops have shot some girls and boys
You'll sit home and drink all night
They looked too weird, it served them right

Ever take a minute just to show a real emotion
In between the moisture cream and velvet facial lotion?
Ever tell your kids you're glad that they can think?
Ever say you loved 'em? Ever let 'em watch you drink?
Ever wonder why your daughter looked so sad?
It's such a drag to have to love a plastic Mom & Dad

Mama! Mama!
Your child was killed in the park today
Shot by the cops as she quietly lay
By the side of the creeps she knew . . .
They killed her too

Pam: Well . . . operator? Hold for a minute, please . . .
FZ: Hello?
Operator: Yes, sir . . .
FZ: Ah, can you call 678-9866?
Operator: Same area code?
FZ: Yes.
Operator: Right.
FZ: Is that Vicki?
Pam: Yeah . . . He's gonna bump you off yet, he's got a gun, you know . . . (heh heh heh . . . ) If he didn't get ya in Laurel Canyon, he won't get you here.
Vicki: Hello?
Pam: Vicki?
Vicki: Yeah.
Pam: What's happening?
Vicki: Listen, your father has called me up this . . .
Pam: Now look, just don't panic but just tell me . . .
Vicki: I'm not panicking!
Pam: Okay.
Vicki: I think my phone's tapped too.
Pam: Well, don't worry, that's quite all right.
Vicki: All right . . . Your father called me up this afternoon.
Pam: Just a sec . . .

Bow tie daddy dontcha blow your top
Everything's under control
Bow tie daddy dontcha blow your top
'Cause you think you're gettin' too old
Don't try to do no thinkin'
Just go on with your drinkin'
Just have your fun, you old son of a gun
Then drive home in your Lincoln

I'm gonna tell you the way it is
And I'm not gonna be kind or easy
Your whole attitude stinks, I say
And the life you lead is completely empty

You paint your head
Your mind is dead
You don't even know what I just said
That's you: American womanhood!

You're phony on top
You're phony underneath
You lay in bed and grit your teeth

Madge, I want your body!
Harry, get back!
Madge, it's not merely physical!
Harry, you're a beast!

Backwards/Forwards:
Don't come in me, in me
Don't come in me, in me
Don't come in me, in me
Don't come in me, in me

Madge, I . . . Madge, I couldn't help it . . . I . . . doggone it!

What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
(I think it's your mind)
But I think it's your mind
(Your mind)
I think it's your mind, woo woo

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
A plague upon your ignorance
And the gray despair of your ugly life

Where did Annie go
When she went to town?
Who are all those creeps
That she brings around?

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of lies you believe
A plague upon your ignorance that keeps the young
From the truth they deserve

Suzy: I don't do publicity balling for you anymore.

FZ: The first word in this song is discorporate. It means to leave your body.

Discorporate and come with me
Shifting; drifting
Cloudless; starless
Velvet valleys and a sapphire sea
Wah Wah

Unbind your mind
There is no time
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we will begin
Wah Wah!
(Flower Power Sucks)

Diamonds on velvets on goldens on vixen
On comet and cupid on donner and blitzen
On up and away and afar and a go-go
Escape from the weight of your corporate logo!

Unbind your mind
There is no time
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we'll begin

Freedom! Freedom!
Kindly loving!
You'll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

Dreaming on cushions of velvet and satin
To music by magic by people that happen
To enter the world of a strange purple Jello
The dreams as they live them are all mellow yellow

Unbind your mind
There is no time
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we'll begin

Freedom! Freedom!
Kindly loving!
You'll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

You'll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?

Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band
I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?

I'm goin' to the love-in to sit and play my bongos in the dirt
Yes, I'm goin' to the love-in to sit and play my bongos in the dirt

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?

I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed
I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed

Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?

I'm goin' to the shrink so he can help me be a nervous wreck . . .

Hey Punk!
Punky!
Hey Punk!
Punk!
Hey Punk!
(Hey Punk!)
Hey Punk!
Hey Punk!
Punky!
(Hey Punk!)
Hey-hey!
(Hey Punk!)
Go man, go . . . go man, go . . .
Just a little bit softer
Golly, do I ever have a lot of soul!
Punk, I think I love you!
Come on, Roy
Questi dominga?
Let me see that nose, it didn't . . .
Orale! I wanna know for sure!
Leave my nose alone please!
What are you trying to do?
He's gonna stand over there
Bigashi' nunga!
But this is Cheetah
Buirote
Chita!

FZ on the center:
It's one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me. You know, every time I think about how lucky I am to be in the rock & roll industry, it's so exciting. You know, when I first got into the rock & roll business I could barely even play the changes to this song on my, on my guitar. But now I'm very proficient at it, I can play the guitar, I can strum it rhythmically, I can sing along with my guitar as I strum. I can strum, sing, dance, I can make merry fun all over the stage. And you know, it's so wonderful to— It's wonderful to feel that I'm doing something for the kids, because I know that the kids and their music are where it's at. The youth of America today is so wonderful. And I'm proud to be a part of this gigantic mass deception. I hope she sees me twirling, yes. I hope she sees me dancing and twirling, I will say, "Hello, dolly!" Is the song over?

FZ on the center:
Boy, this is really exciting, making a rock & roll record. I can't even wait until our record comes out and the teenagers start to buy it. We'll all be rich and famous! When my royalty check comes I think I'm going to buy a Mustang. No, I think I'll— I think I'll get a Corvette. No, I think I'll get a Harley Davidson. No, I don't think I'll buy any of those cars. I think what I will do is I will buy a boat. No, that wouldn't be good either. I think, ah, I'll go into real estate. I think I would like to— I think I would like to buy La Cienega Boulevard. No, that wouldn't do any good. Gee, I wonder if they can see me up here, twirling my tambourine and dancing . . . Maybe after the show one of the girls who sees me up here, singing and twirling my tambourine and dancing, will like me. And she will come over to me and I will walk— I will walk up to her and I will smile at her and I will impress her and I will say, "Hello, baby, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this? I'm from a rock & roll band, I think we should . . ." Is the song over?

Center mumbling:
Ay, ay!
Mingia!
There she is!
Ay!
Buirote.
When do we get paid for this?
Ay, ay!
. . . papa . . . huevos
Huevos? Rock, bop, rock & roll
Rock, bop. . .
One more time!
Un . . .
Stop sloppy rock & roll
Bop bop bop!
Yeah! Wheee!

Gary Kellgren: He is working the controls because all producers love to turn knobs . . . They think it is the way they can create . . . I wonder what everyone else is whispering about . . . ?

Backwards:
Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your f— mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive
If you were alive
Shitty little person?

EC: Beautiful! God! It's God! I see God!

Now believe me when I tell you that my song is really true
I want everyone to listen and believe
It's about some little people from a long time ago
And all the things the neighbors didn't know
Early in the morning Daddy Dinky went to work
Selling lamps and chairs to San Ber'dino squares
And I still remember Mama with her apron and her pad
Feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe

Whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away
And all the while on a shelf in the shed
Kenny's little creatures on display

Ronnie saves his numies on a window in his room
A marvel to be seen: dysentery green
While Kenny and his buddies had a game out in the back
Let's make the water turn black

We see them after school in a world of their own
To some it might seem creepy what they do
The neighbors on the right sat and watched them every night
I'll bet you'd do the same if they was you

Whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away
And all the while on a shelf in the shed
Kenny's little creatures on display

Ronnie's in the Army now and Kenny's taking pills
Oh, how they yearn to see a bomber burn
Color flashing, thunder crashing, dynamite machine
Wait till the fire turns green
Wait till the fire turns green
Wait till the fire turns green

Dick Kunc: This would be a little bit of vocal teen-age heaven, right here on Earth!

Ronnie Williams: (backwards) Dodn-do-do-dodn-dodn-dodn-dada

The idiot bastard son
The father's a Nazi in Congress today
The mothers's a hooker somewhere in L.A.

The idiot bastard son
Abandoned to perish in back of a car
Kenny will stash him away in a jar
The idiot boy!

Motorhead: I never won it because I was too small to start with.

?: How, look out!

Motorhead: I used to drink some bad stuff . . . Wine, all kinds of wine! I would mix seven different varieties . . .

Bunk: Had the hots for [...]

JCB: Wah, wah, wah.

Bunk?: over by the [...]

Motorhead: Thunderbird wine . . . I don't know but I chugged a fifth of White Port once and passed out one day (heh heh) . . . and I drank a quart of beer just before that . . . and we were out riding around in the desert.

Bunk: Thomas's wine mix is . . . very strange . . . Anyway . . .

Backwards:
. . . at the college . . .
. . . they sell it.
Which one?
Wait! You [...] that girl.
No kiddin'?
Whoa, uh.
You showed 'em.
Drag the line!

Try and imagine
The window all covered in green
All the time he would spend
At the church he'd attend
Warming his pew

Kenny will feed him and Ronnie will watch
The child will thrive and grow
And enter the world
Of liars and cheaters and people like you
Who smile and think you know
What this is about

You think you know everything
Maybe so
The song we sing
Do you know?
We're listening
The idiot boy!

Try and imagine
The window all covered in green
All the time he would spend
All the colors he'd blend
Where are they now?

Gary Kellgren: Right now I have two hit records on the charts, but it has not made me any money. It has only brought me fame and glory, and a lot of work. Which I do, really not care to tell . . .

You're a lonely little girl
But your mommy and your daddy don't care
You're a lonely little girl

The things they say
Just hurt your heart
It's too late now
For them to start
To understand
The way you feel
The world for them
Is too unreal
So you're lonely, lonely, lonely
Lonely little girl

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
A plague upon your ignorance
And the gray despair of your ugly life

Where did Annie go
When she went to town?
Who are all those creeps
That she brings around?

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of lies . . .

Where did Annie go
When she went . . .

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free
To sing and dance and love

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil
That we can rise above

Who cares if hair is long or short
Or sprayed or partly grayed
We know that hair ain't where it's at

There will come a time when you won't even
Be ashamed if you are fat!

Wah Wah Wah Wah

Wah Wah Wah Wah

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free
To sing and dance and love
(Dance and love)

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil
That we can rise above
(Rise above)

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go stretch-elastic pants
There will come a time when you can even
Take your clothes off when you dance

What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
(Darling, when I . . . )
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
(Darling, when I look in your eyes . . . )
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
(My dearest, my darling, my . . . darling darling . . . )
But I think it's your mind
(My darling)
I think it's your mind
(The ugliest part of your darling)
I think it's your mind
(Your mind is ugly)
I think it's your mind
(Your mind . . .)
I think it's your mind
I think it's your mind
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Your body, your body, your body, your body . . . )
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Your mind is ugly)
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Would you please leave my nose alone!)
(Your body, your body)
(Let go of my nose, my nose, thank you!)
Your body, your body . . .

Do it again!
Do it again!

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

Do you think that I'm crazy?
Out of my mind?
Do you think that I creep in the night
And sleep in a phone booth?

Lemme take a minute and tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute and tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

Do you think that my pants are too tight?
Do you think that I'm creepy?
Lemme take a minute and tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute and tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

Do you think that I love you
Stupid and blind?
Do you think that I dream through the night
Of holding you near me?

Lemme take a minute and tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute and tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

Arbitrary!
Arbitrary!
Arbitrary!

Spider: The way I see it, Barry, this should be a very dynamite show.

Doo-wah-de-NUM
Doo-wah-de-NUM
Doo-wah
Doo-wah, doo-wah, doo-wah-d'num
Doo-wah-de-NUM
Doo-wah-diddy-wah
Diddy-waddy-waddy-waddy-waddy-NUM

Doo-wah-de-NUM
Doo-wah-de-NUM
Doo-wah
Doo-wah, doo-wah, doo-WAH-DEE
Doo-wah-de-NUM
Doo-wah-diddy-wah
Diddy-waddy-waddy-waddy-waddy-NUM

Doo-wah-dee-num
(Waddy-num)
Doo-wah-doo-wah-doo-wah-dee-num
(Nummy-num)
[...]
Waddy-one, waddy-num

Yo' mammy nun
Yo' mammy nun
Yo' mammy, mammy, mammy, mammy
Yo' mammy nun
Yo' mam-mammy nun
Who's yo' mammy, who's yo' mammy, mammy nun?

Holy mack'l
Holy mack'l
Holy mack'l
Holy mack'l

Ol' Brown Moses
Way down in Egypt-land
Pick that cotton
Eat that watermelon

Spider: Bit of nostalgia for the old folks!

Gilly: I'm advocating dark clothes.
Becky: If I'm not alone . . . How long have I been asleep?
Gilly: As long as I have.
Maxine: Did you ever live in a drum?
Becky: No.
Maxine: Well then you aren't me.
Gilly: I only dreamt I lived in a drum. Ever since it got dark. Dreaming is hard.
Susan Kelly: Yea, but with nothing over your head?
Gilly: No, just light, over my head. And underneath too.
Susan Kelly: I don't think I could take it without anything over my head.
Maxine: Mm-mmh, me neither.
Becky: Well why don't you go out and see what's out there?
Gilly: Well . . . I don't know if that's what's out there.
Maxine: Now that's a thought.
Gilly: Yes . . .
Maxine: If you'd like . . .
Gilly: But still you can say darker and darker. I don't know what the outside of this thing looks like at all.
Guy #1: I do. It's dark and murky.
John Kilgore: How do you get your . . . your water so dark?
Guy #1: 'Cause I'm paranoid. I'm very paranoid. And the water in my washing machine turns dark out of sympathy.
John Kilgore: Out of sympathy?
Guy #1: Yes.
John Kilgore: Um . . . where can I get that?
Guy #1: At your local drugstore.
John Kilgore: How much?
Guy #1: It's from Kansas.

Motorhead: Bored out .90 over with three Stromberg 97s.

Larry: Almost Chinese, huh?
Girl #1: Yeah!
Motorhead: Good bread, 'cause I was making, uh . . . $2.71 an hour.

Motorhead: I keep switching girls all the time, because if I'm able to find a girl with really a groovy car that ain't build up, man, I'll go steady with her for a while until I'd build up her car and blow out the engine!

Motorhead: I worked in a cheesy newspaper company for a while but that was terrible, I wasn't making enough money to build anything.
(LOUIE LOUIE)
Motorhead: And then I worked in a printing company and a coupla gas stations. Oh, at the gas station where I was working my brother just got married, and uh . . . he bought a new car and his wife was having a kid and all this miserable stuff, and he needed a job so I gave him a job at the gas station of which I was fired because, you know, he was gonna work there. And he had his car on the rack and he was lubing and changing tires and everything all the time. And so they got fired because he was goofing off, man, and he just kept taking parts and working on his car day and night. And so he lost that job and he went to work in another gas station. He took that one, you know, so he could feed the kids and that. And I went to work in an aircraft company, and uh . . . I was building these planes. I worked on the XB-70, I was the last welder on there. Yeah but, it was pretty good bread because I was making, uh . . . $2.71 an hour. I was making a hundred and a quarter a week, and uh . . . yeah, it was good enough money to be working on, so I got an Oldsmobile, a groovy Olds. But I was going with this chick at that time. By the time I got the Olds running decently, she went out and tore up the engine, and the trans, and a—her and a girlfriend they get in there and booze it up and tear up the seats. Just ripped the seats completely out. So uh . . . when, I got a '56 Olds, which was this one chick's I was going with, and uh . . . we used to drive out all over the place and finally she got rid of that, and uh . . . I got another pickup!

Oh man, I don't know if I can go through this again!

Ronnie Williams: Buh-bah-bahdn
Spider: Oh!
John: There it went again..
Spider: It's a little pig . . . with wings
Pig With Wings: EE . . .
Gross Man: I hear you've been having trouble with pigs and ponies!

Left channel:
Calvin: To . . . just the opposite . . . going around to the other direction

Right channel:
Calvin: How 'bout us, don't we get any?
Gail: We don't get any . . .
Calvin: That's very distraughtening
Gail: We don't get any because we're otherwise

Spider: Everything in the universe is . . . is . . . is made of one element, which is a note, a single note. Atoms are really vibrations, you know, which are extensions of THE BIG NOTE, everything's one note. Everything, even the ponies. The note, however, is the ultimate power, but see, the pigs don't know that, the ponies don't know that. Right?
Monica: You mean just we know that?
Spider: Right!

Spider: "Merry Go Round! Merry Go Round! Do-Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do Do-Do-Do!"

Louis: Grrr . . . Arf arf arf ar-ar-ar-ar-ar! Teeth out there, and ready to attack 'em. . . I had to fight back and hit 'em, like . . . you know . . . hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em, and . . . kick 'em and kick 'em and . . .
Roy: Did they get on top of you?
Louis: No, I fought so back, hard back, and, it was . . .
Roy: Hard back?
Louis: White!
Roy: White?
Louis: Yeah, white ugliness
Roy: Did it have teeth?
Louis: And it was two, it was two boogey-men that were on the side and, we were . . . already blocked the entrance, so I had to . . . I had to kick, I had to fight to f-four or five boogey-men in front of me . . .
Roy: Then . . . but maybe he can turn into . . . I wonder if he could maybe be [...] PFFFT!
Louis: Yes, extremely vicious
Roy: I don't know, those po— . . . I heard those ponies are really vicious!
Louis: I know . . . but, I know they're vicious, but they . . .
Roy: Their claws!
Louis: He d-d . . . he doesn't have to be able to do it
Roy: They get on top of you, and they just tear you apart
Louis: I know . . .
Roy: Tee . . .
Louis: Scars over here, see, scars right here. Yeah . . .
Roy: Teeth to limb! Teeth to limb! I mean, toe to ta— . . . man, I hope they don't get him
Louis: Ponies! I-i-if-if, if . . . is . . .
Roy: Was it white? Are you sure it wasn't w-white, I mean, uh, black, or . . .
Louis: Well, I think they're white, but I was too scared to notice their physical . . .
Roy: Gold or something?
Louis: I was too, I was too scared to no . . . n-no . . . uh-no . . . uh-notice their physical, ahh . . . appearance, 'cause they . . . they-they were attackin' me!
Roy: They were?
Louis: Yeah, they were . . . they were attackin' me!
Roy: What were they doin' to you?
Louis: Well, they were . . . they were like, they were . . . comin' and surroundin' me 'n everything else, and they were attackin' me and I had to fight back, fight, fight and fight back and . . . pick up sticks . . .
Roy: Pick-up-sticks?
Louis: Yes, pick up sticks, you know?
Roy: I used to play that game, Pick-up-sticks
Louis: Me too, did you ever play that game?
Roy: Yeah!
Louis: Yes! That's funny! HA HA HA!
Roy: Anyway, come back to the horse . . . back to the horse? To the pony
Louis: HA HA HA HA! Now . . .
Roy: Anyway . . .
Louis: Yes, pony, or . . .
Roy: President . . .
Louis: Or pope, I dunno, ah, I dunno . . .
Roy: I don't know . . .
Louis: Something down there is dangerous.
Roy: Could be a cigar or somethin'
Louis: Yeah . . .
Roy: A cigar?
Louis: A cigar? Naw, you're insane, come on!
Roy: Nohhh, no . . . I remember when I was a . . . no I don't remember. Those were the days!
Louis: Boy, you must spend all your life down here!
Roy: That was before the days of those horses
Louis: Yes, before the days of the . . . all the . . . ow-uh . . . ponies or boogey-men or somethin', what's out there
Roy: But then there was a . . . what was it then? No pimples?
Louis: No, I never did.
Roy: Sure!
Louis: Positively
Roy: You had to have 'em.
Louis: Naw, naw . . .
Roy: You've got one right in your nose right now!
Louis: HA HA HA HA! Scrtch-ch-ch! Scratchin' them . . .
Roy: Boy, I'm gettin' tired, man. We should go . . .
Louis: Oh, yes . . .
Roy: We should go to sleep
Louis: Oh, yeah . . .
Roy: I just hope he comes back . . .
Louis: Yes . . . Listen!
Roy: I think I'll pray for him
Louis: I think I'll join you
Roy: You do yours and I'll do mine . . .
Louis: Okay . . . HA HA HA HA!
Roy: And we'll hope for the best. HEH HEH HEH!
Louis: HA HA HA HA HA! I'll pray for [...] Motorhead
Roy: Now I lay me down to sleep . . .
Roy: Amen!
Louis: Amen . . .

Ronnie Williams:
Oh yeah!
That's just fine!
Come on boys!
Just one more time!

Spider: I think I can explain about . . . about how the pigs' music works
Monica: Well, this should be interesting
Spider: Remember that they make music with a very dense light
John: Yeah
Monica: O.K.
Spider: And remember about the smoke standing still and how they . . . they really get uptight when you try to move the smoke, right?
Monica: Right
John: Yeah?
Spider: I think the music in that dense light is probably what makes the smoke stand still. Any sort of motion has this effect on . . . on the ponies' manes. You know, the thing on their neck
John: Hmm . . .
Spider: As soon as the pony's mane starts to get good in the back any sort of mo . . . motion, especially of smoke or gas, begins to make the ends split.
Monica: Well don't the splitting ends change the density of the ponies' music so it affects the density of the pigs' music, which makes the smoke move which upsets the pigs?
Spider: No, it isn't like that.
John: Well, how does it work?
Spider: Well, what it does is when it strikes any sort of energy field or solid object or even something as ephemeral as smoke, the first thing it does is begins to inactivate the molecular motion so that it slows down and finally stops. That's why the smoke stops. And also have you ever noticed how the the smoke clouds shrink up? When it does that? That's because . . .
John: Oh, yeah.
Spider: That's because the molecules come closer together. It gets much, much smaller, and it goes . . . The cold light makes it get so small, that . . .
Monica: I suppose . . .
Spider: It becomes very, very dense and brittle. This is really brittle smoke.
John: And that's why the pigs don't want you to touch it.
Spider: See, when the smoke gets that brittle what happens when you try to move it is it disintegrates
John: And the pigs get uptight 'cause you know they, they worship that smoke. They salute it every day
Monica: You know we've got something here.
John: And, and, and, and that's the basis of all their nationalism. Like if they can't salute the smoke every morning when they get up . . .
Spider: Yeah, it's a vicious circle. You got it.

Gross Man: Pony!

Larry: Drums are too noisy, 'n you've got no corners to hide in!

John: So when she's beating him over the nose with a tire iron. and then we both jump away and disappear, and the pig will turn around and there'll be this pony.
Spider: Oh no, man . . .
Monica: Oh . . .
Spider & Monica: Kangaroos!
Monica: And then they eat it when they get home.
John: If it's still alive.

Spider: Envelops the bath tub.

Calvin: 'Cause round things are . . . are boring . . . hhh . . .

EC: Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh . . . d'you, are you, are you hung up? Are you hung up?
Charlotte: Outa site!
EC: Outa site, yeah—listen, uhm, d'you, are you . . .? Are you hung up?
Charlotte: Ha ha . . . ! What does that mean?
EC: Are you strung up, are you? Are you hung up?
Charlotte: I don't . . . I don't . . . I can't understand . . . Outa site!
EC: Outa site, yeah—listen, uhm, d'you, are you . . .? Are you hung up?

Gary Kellgren: One of these days I am going to erase all the tape in the world . . . In the world . . . world . . . Tomorrow I may do it . . . All the Frank Zappa masters . . . Nothing . . . Blank . . . Empty . . . Space . . . That's what they are now . . . Blank . . . Empty . . . Space . . . Oh, I know he's sitting in there, in the control room now, listening to everything I say, but I really don't care . . . Hello, Frank Zappa!

JCB: Hi, boys & girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, I'm the Indian of the group!

What's there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
Think I'll just drop out
I'll go to Frisco
Buy a wig and sleep
On Owsley's floor

Walked past the wig store
Danced at the Fillmore
I'm completely stoned
I'm hippy and I'm trippy
I'm a gypsy on my own
I'll stay a week and get the crabs and
Take a bus back home
I'm really just a phony
But forgive me
'Cause I'm stoned

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
Go to San Francisco . . .

How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya, Frisco!
How I love ya, How I love ya
How I love ya, How I love ya
Oh, my hair is getting good in the back!

Every town must have a place
Where phony hippies meet
Psychedelic dungeons
Popping up on every street
Go to San Francisco . . .

Hotcha!

First I'll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band
To go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce
How to get to Haight Street
And smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
I will have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me on the street
I will sleep . . .
I will, I will go to a house
That's, that's what I will do
I will go to a house
Where there's a rock & roll band
'Cause the groups all live together
And I will join a rock & roll band
I will be their road manager
And I will stay there with them
And I will get the crabs
But I won't care
Because . . .

Concentration Moon
Over the camp in the valley
Concentration Moon
Wish I was back in the alley
With all of my friends
Still running free
Hair growing out
Every hole in me

American way
How did it start?
Thousands of creeps
Killed in the park
American way
Try and explain
Scab of a nation
Driven insane
Don't cry
Gotta go bye bye
Suddenly: die die
Cop kill a creep!
Pow! Pow! Pow!

Gary Kellgren: Tomorrow I get to do another Frank Zappa creation . . . and the day after that . . . and the day after that . . . also in the same time I get to work with The Velvet Underground which is as shitty a group as Frank Zappa's group.

JCB: Hi, boys & girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, and I'm the Indian of the group.

Concentration Moon
Over the camp in the valley
Concentration Moon
Wish I was back in the alley
With all of my friends
Still running free
Hair growing out
Every hole in me

American way
Threatened by us
Drag a few creeps
Away in a bus
American way
Prisoner: lock
Smash every creep
In the face with a rock
Don't cry
Gotta go bye bye
Suddenly: die die
Cop kill a creep!
Pow! Pow! Pow!

Mama! Mama!
Someone said they made some noise
The cops have shot some girls and boys
You'll sit home and drink all night
They looked too weird, it served them right

Mama! Mama!
Someone said they made some noise
The cops have shot some girls and boys
You'll sit home and drink all night
They looked too weird, it served them right

Ever take a minute just to show a real emotion
In between the moisture cream and velvet facial lotion?
Ever tell your kids you're glad that they can think?
Ever say you loved 'em? Ever let 'em watch you drink?
Ever wonder why your daughter looked so sad?
It's such a drag to have to love a plastic Mom & Dad

Mama! Mama!
Your child was killed in the park today
Shot by the cops as she quietly lay
By the side of the creeps she knew . . .
They killed her too

Pam: Well . . . operator? Hold for a minute, please . . .
FZ: Hello?
Operator: Yes, sir . . .
FZ: Ah, can you call 678-9866?
Operator: Same area code?
FZ: Yes.
Operator: Right.
FZ: Is that Vicki?
Pam: Yeah . . . He's gonna bump you off yet, he's got a gun, you know . . . (heh heh heh . . . ) If he didn't get ya in Laurel Canyon, he won't get you here.
Vicki: Hello?
Pam: Vicki?
Vicki: Yeah.
Pam: What's happening?
Vicki: Listen, your father has called me up this . . .
Pam: Now look, just don't panic but just tell me . . .
Vicki: I'm not panicking!
Pam: Okay.
Vicki: I think my phone's tapped too.
Pam: Well, don't worry, that's quite all right.
Vicki: All right . . . Your father called me up this afternoon.
Pam: Just a sec . . .

Bow tie daddy dontcha blow your top
Everything's under control
Bow tie daddy dontcha blow your top
'Cause you think you're gettin' too old
Don't try to do no thinkin'
Just go on with your drinkin'
Just have your fun, you old son of a gun
Then drive home in your Lincoln

I'm gonna tell you the way it is
And I'm not gonna be kind or easy
Your whole attitude stinks, I say
And the life you lead is completely empty

You paint your head
Your mind is dead
You don't even know what I just said
That's you: American womanhood!

You're phony on top
You're phony underneath
You lay in bed and grit your teeth

Madge, I want your body!
Harry, get back!
Madge, it's not merely physical!
Harry, you're a beast!

Madge, I . . . Madge, I couldn't help it . . . I . . . doggone it!

What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
(I think it's your mind)
But I think it's your mind
(Your mind)
I think it's your mind, woo woo

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
A plague upon your ignorance
And the gray despair of your ugly life

Where did Annie go
When she went to town?
Who are all those creeps
That she brings around?

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of lies you believe
A plague upon your ignorance that keeps the young
From the truth they deserve

Suzy: I don't do publicity balling for you anymore.

FZ: The first word in this song is discorporate. It means to leave your body.

Discorporate and come with me
Shifting; drifting
Cloudless; starless
Velvet valleys and a sapphire sea
Wah Wah

Unbind your mind
There is no time
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we will begin
Wah Wah!
(Flower Power Sucks)

Diamonds on velvets on goldens on vixen
On comet and cupid on donner and blitzen
On up and away and afar and a go-go
Escape from the weight of your corporate logo!

Unbind your mind
There is no time
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we'll begin

Freedom! Freedom!
Kindly loving!
You'll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

Dreaming on cushions of velvet and satin
To music by magic by people that happen
To enter the world of a strange purple Jello
The dreams as they live them are all mellow yellow

Unbind your mind
There is no time
Boin-n-n-n-n-n-g
To lick your stamps
And paste them in
Discorporate
And we'll begin

Freedom! Freedom!
Kindly loving!
You'll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

You'll be absolutely free
Only if you want to be

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that flower in your hand?

Well, I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band
I'm goin' up to Frisco to join a psychedelic band

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that button on your shirt?

I'm goin' to the love-in to sit and play my bongos in the dirt
Yes, I'm goin' to the love-in to sit and play my bongos in the dirt

Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with that hair on your head?

I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed
I'm goin' to the dance to get some action, then I'm goin' home to bed

Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?
Hey Punk, where you goin' with those beads around your neck?

I'm goin' to the shrink so he can help me be a nervous wreck . . .

Hey Punk!
Punky!
Hey Punk!
Punk!
Hey Punk!
(Hey Punk!)
Hey Punk!
Hey Punk!
Punky!
(Hey Punk!)
Hey-hey!
(Hey Punk!)
Go man, go . . . go man, go . . .
Just a little bit softer
Golly, do I ever have a lot of soul!
Punk, I think I love you!
Come on, Roy
Questi dominga?
Let me see that nose, it didn't . . .
Orale! I wanna know for sure!
Leave my nose alone please!
What are you trying to do?
He's gonna stand over there
Bigashi' nunga!
But this is Cheetah
Buirote
Chita!

FZ on the right:
It's one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me. You know, every time I think about how lucky I am to be in the rock & roll industry, it's so exciting. You know, when I first got into the rock & roll business I could barely even play the changes to this song on my, on my guitar. But now I'm very proficient at it, I can play the guitar, I can strum it rhythmically, I can sing along with my guitar as I strum. I can strum, sing, dance, I can make merry fun all over the stage. And you know, it's so wonderful to— It's wonderful to feel that I'm doing something for the kids, because I know that the kids and their music are where it's at. The youth of America today is so wonderful. And I'm proud to be a part of this gigantic mass deception. I hope she sees me twirling, yes. I hope she sees me dancing and twirling, I will say, "Hello, dolly!" Is the song over?

FZ on the left:
Boy, this is really exciting, making a rock & roll record. I can't even wait until our record comes out and the teenagers start to buy it. We'll all be rich and famous! When my royalty check comes I think I'm going to buy a Mustang. No, I think I'll— I think I'll get a Corvette. No, I think I'll get a Harley Davidson. No, I don't think I'll buy any of those cars. I think what I will do is I will buy a boat. No, that wouldn't be good either. I think, ah, I'll go into real estate. I think I would like to— I think I would like to buy La Cienega Boulevard. No, that wouldn't do any good. Gee, I wonder if they can see me up here, twirling my tambourine and dancing . . . Maybe after the show one of the girls who sees me up here, singing and twirling my tambourine and dancing, will like me. And she will come over to me and I will walk— I will walk up to her and I will smile at her and I will impress her and I will say, "Hello, baby, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this? I'm from a rock & roll band, I think we should . . ." Is the song over?

Center mumbling:
Ay, ay!
Mingia!
There she is!
Ay!
Buirote.
When do we get paid for this?
Ay, ay!
. . . papa . . . huevos
Huevos? Rock, bop, rock & roll
Rock, bop. . .
One more time!
Un . . .
Stop sloppy rock & roll
Bop bop bop!
Yeah! Wheee!

Gary Kellgren: He is working the controls because all producers love to turn knobs . . . They think it is the way they can create . . . I wonder what everyone else is whispering about . . . ?

Backwards:
Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your f— mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive
If you were alive
Shitty little person?

EC: Beautiful! God! It's God! I see God!

Now believe me when I tell you that my song is really true
I want everyone to listen and believe
It's about some little people from a long time ago
And all the things the neighbors didn't know
Early in the morning Daddy Dinky went to work
Selling lamps and chairs to San Ber'dino squares
And I still remember Mama with her apron and her pad
Feeding all the boys at Ed's Cafe

Whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away
And all the while on a shelf in the shed
Kenny's little creatures on display

Ronnie saves his numies on a window in his room
A marvel to be seen: dysentery green
While Kenny and his buddies had a game out in the back
Let's make the water turn black

We see them after school in a world of their own
To some it might seem creepy what they do
The neighbors on the right sat and watched them every night
I'll bet you'd do the same if they was you

Whizzing and pasting and pooting through the day
Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away
And all the while on a shelf in the shed
Kenny's little creatures on display

Ronnie's in the Army now and Kenny's taking pills
Oh, how they yearn to see a bomber burn
Color flashing, thunder crashing, dynamite machine
Wait till the fire turns green
Wait till the fire turns green
Wait till the fire turns green

Dick Kunc: This would be a little bit of vocal teen-age heaven, right here on Earth!

Ronnie Williams: (backwards) Dodn-do-do-dodn-dodn-dodn-dada

The idiot bastard son
The father's a Nazi in Congress today
The mothers's a hooker somewhere in L.A.

The idiot bastard son
Abandoned to perish in back of a car
Kenny will stash him away in a jar
The idiot boy!

Motorhead: I never won it because I was too small to start with.

?: How, look out!

Motorhead: I used to drink some bad stuff . . . Wine, all kinds of wine! I would mix seven different varieties . . .

Bunk: Had the hots for [...]

JCB: Wah, wah, wah.

Bunk?: over by the [...]

Motorhead: Thunderbird wine . . . I don't know but I chugged a fifth of White Port once and passed out one day (heh heh) . . . and I drank a quart of beer just before that . . . and we were out riding around in the desert.

Bunk: Thomas's wine mix is . . . very strange . . . Anyway . . .

Backwards:
. . . at the college . . .
. . . they sell it.
Which one?
Wait! You [...] that girl.
No kiddin'?
Whoa, uh.
You showed 'em.
Drag the line!

Try and imagine
The window all covered in green
All the time he would spend
At the church he'd attend
Warming his pew

Kenny will feed him and Ronnie will watch
The child will thrive and grow
And enter the world
Of liars and cheaters and people like you
Who smile and think you know
What this is about

You think you know everything
Maybe so
The song we sing
Do you know?
We're listening
The idiot boy!

Try and imagine
The window all covered in green
All the time he would spend
All the colors he'd blend
Where are they now?

Gary Kellgren: Right now I have two hit records on the charts, but it has not made me any money. It has only brought me fame and glory, and a lot of work. Which I do, really not care to tell . . .

You're a lonely little girl
But your mommy and your daddy don't care
You're a lonely little girl

The things they say
Just hurt your heart
It's too late now
For them to start
To understand
The way you feel
The world for them
Is too unreal
So you're lonely, lonely, lonely
Lonely little girl

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of systems beyond their control
A plague upon your ignorance
And the gray despair of your ugly life

Where did Annie go
When she went to town?
Who are all those creeps
That she brings around?

All your children are poor
Unfortunate victims of lies . . .

Where did Annie go
When she went . . .

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free
To sing and dance and love

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil
That we can rise above

Who cares if hair is long or short
Or sprayed or partly grayed
We know that hair ain't where it's at

There will come a time when you won't even
Be ashamed if you are fat!

Wah Wah Wah Wah

Wah Wah Wah Wah

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free
To sing and dance and love
(Dance and love)

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil
That we can rise above
(Rise above)

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go stretch-elastic pants
There will come a time when you can even
Take your clothes off when you dance

What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
(Darling, when I . . . )
What's the ugliest
Part of your body?
(Darling, when I look in your eyes . . . )
Some say your nose
Some say your toes
(My dearest, my darling, my . . . darling darling . . . )
But I think it's your mind
(My darling)
I think it's your mind
(The ugliest part of your darling)
I think it's your mind
(Your mind is ugly)
I think it's your mind
(Your mind . . .)
I think it's your mind
I think it's your mind
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Your body, your body, your body, your body . . . )
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Your mind is ugly)
I think your mind is the ugliest part of your body
(Would you please leave my nose alone!)
(Your body, your body)
(Let go of my nose, my nose, thank you!)
Your body, your body . . .

Do it again!
Do it again!

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

Do you think that I'm crazy?
Out of my mind?
Do you think that I creep in the night
And sleep in a phone booth?

Lemme take a minute and tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute and tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

Do you think that my pants are too tight?
Do you think that I'm creepy?
Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your fuckin' mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive
If you were alive
Shitty little person?

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You're the other people too
Found a way to get to you

Do you think that I love you
Stupid and blind?
Do you think that I dream through the night
Of holding you near me?

Lemme take a minute and tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute and tell who I am
If it doesn't show
Think you better know
I'm another person

Arbitrary!
Arbitrary!
Arbitrary!

FZ: John Cage's work has had an influence on Lumpy Gravy because of his theories of random happenings and, you know, take your chances and just let it happen and that'll be the, the musical composition. The way Lumpy Gravy was put together was sort of like that—I had a certain number of building blocks to work with, all committed to tape, and at one point I just cut these lengths of tape and just shuffled 'em around, and stuck 'em together, and there are sections that were assembled that way.

Spider: Light, is just a vibration of the note, too. Everything is. Gotta keep that in mind.

Girl: Is it hard for you to breathe?

Spider: They make music with this very dense light.
Monica: And they, they don't understand?
Spider: No.
John: I know, it's just uh . . .
Spider: I don't understand—do you understand it yourself, I mean, can you really . . . ?
John: No. Not really.
Spider: You see, if we understood it, maybe we could help the pigs understand it.

One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four . . .

I'm gonna tell him I'm [...]

Then after recording: one, two, three, four . . .

Where do we come in on that upbeat?

No, he's gonna put that on tape.

Sid, you'll have to get on the mike. Ted, why don't you get on this mike right here.

[...] put that [...]

Once more.

Don't know if I'm [...]

That's okay.

[...]

Can't take you anyplace. We're rolling, gentlemen. Unit 3A, take 3.

Care of us, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, a reed man.

One, two, three . . .

Unit 2, take 9.

You get that? [...]

The timp can play a little heavier out there. I'll take it from out there instead of raising you in here, please. Thank you. Take 9.

[...]

Same thing?

One, two, three, one, two . . .

22.

One, two, three, four . . .

Can you hear that, Frank?
Let's play that back.

Willy: I think that's probably one of the rarest Mothers albums too, you see . . .
FZ: Hard to get, you mean?
Willy: Yes, and you hardly ever see it, I just have . . .
FZ: Yeah, I think the rarest one is probably Lumpy Gravy.
Other interviewer: I've, I've had that on order for four weeks and they sent in a copy of We're Only In It For The Money because it says on the back of it, "Is this phase one of Lumpy Gravy?" And it won't come in. It's not around.
FZ: No, that's a very rare album. That's my favorite album, actually.
Other interviewer: How long did it take to put that all together?
FZ: Lumpy Gravy or . . . ?
Other interviewer: Lumpy Gravy, yeah.
FZ: Lumpy Gravy was recorded in uh, mm, say, February or March of '67, and wasn't released until thirteen months later. The orchestral stuff was recorded in February-March, and then the rest of the spoken material was added, say, between October and December '67, after we got back from Europe from our first tour.

Uncle Meat: Well, somebody called me anyway and I— Here I am.
Spider?: I don't want no fucking chick swinging ar—
Uncle Meat: Here— Somebody called me and here I am and I'm gonna clean your piano, whether you like it or not, because . . . it's my job.
John?: She's— She's finished, she's— we can't.
?: We're gonna put her away.
Uncle Meat: Nobody—you're not—nobody's putting me away.
?: We gotta put her in the [...].
Uncle Meat: You're not gonna put me away.
John?: How are we gonna do it?
Uncle Meat: You can't put me away. No one's gonna put me away.
John?: We gotta put her away— How are we gonna do it?
Uncle Meat: Why do you think you are going to put me away. Well, you can't—
John?: What are we gonna do? Where are we gonna put her? Where are we gonna put the body?
Uncle Meat: But— I'm always wrecked, you know. I'm really gonna be more wrecked, because of this motorcycle accident and— 'Cause you know what they do to you, and everyone will know that I'm really ruined, and I won't be able to appear anywhere, you know.
Uncle Meat (or Girl #2?): Barry. Because—
Guy #1 (Bunk?): Who's Barry?
Uncle Meat (or Girl #2?): Barry!
Guy #2: Why should I be prejudiced against accordions?
John: I'm gonna call the N. Double A, AA.
Guy #2: Who are they?
John: The National Association for the Advancement of Accordions.

GZ: Good Lord!
FZ: You like that?
GZ: Yeah. The kid too.
FZ: Scare the piss outa the baby?
GZ: No! At the end of it she went, "Keeeew."
FZ: Mm . . . She likes that stuff.
GZ: Yes, she does actually.
FZ: 'fuck's wrong with her?
GZ: Ha ha, ha ha . . .

Gary Kellgren: Right now I have two hit records on the charts, but it has not made me any money. It has only brought me fame and glory, and a lot of work. Which I do, really not care to tell . . .

JCB: Hi, boys & girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, I'm the Indian of the group!

Gary Kellgren: Tomorrow I get to do another Frank Zappa creation . . . and the day after that . . . and the day after that . . . also at the same time I get to work with The Velvet Underground which is as shitty a group as Frank Zappa's group.

JCB: Hi, boys & girls, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, and I'm the Indian of the group.

Gary Kellgren: He is working the controls because all producers love to turn knobs . . . They think it is the way they can create . . . I wonder what everyone else is whispering about . . .

FZ: Tempo okay on that? Is the time good?

FZ:

Have a new album called We're Only In It For The Money, and we're having a problem with the release of this album due to the cover of the album. We had a problem with Absolutely Free too. It took seven months before the problem with Absolutely Free was straightened out. We hope this problem won't take that long.

We're Only In It For The Money is completely different than the other two albums. It doesn't even sound like the same band.

Ray: But, you don't— You know what is it, why turds are tapered? So your asshole won't bang shut.
FZ: Let's put that in the album!
Roy: So they won't bang shut?

Ray?:
Idiot bastard son

FZ: Are we supposed to be singing now?
Roy: I forgot my part.
Gary Kellgren?: Yeah. So I can get a sound [...]
Roy: The idiot ba—
FZ: Oh, we're not— I can't hear myself in the—
Gary Kellgren?: Pardon?
FZ: Can't hear myself in the microphone.
Ray?: Venga.
Roy: The— The— I forgot my part.
FZ: Do do do . . .
Roy: The—
Ray?: Hmm.

David Silver: On the, on the We're— on the We're Only In It For The Money album you take a lot of swipes at the hippies, you know, you really . . .
FZ: Mm-hmm.
David Silver: . . . showed a . . . a disdain for their behavior, uh . . . What was wrong, what was or what is wrong with the hippies, basically, do you think?
FZ: Well, I think that the main thing that I objected to at the time was everybody was uh, so ready to accept Haight-Ashbury and the whole San Francisco hippie scene as the what's happening of the universe and uh, flower power and all the rest of that stuff which I did not think was really what was happening or what should happen, and I didn't think that the people who were involved in it believed it, and, uh, if they did believe it they were still hurtin', because it's— it was puny and it was, you know . . .
David Silver: What— What came through, Frank, was that, you know, you almost coined the term or if you didn't coin the term "Plastic People," and you know . . .
FZ: "Plastic People" dates from before the We're Only In It For The Money album.
David Silver: Yeah. Okay. Uh, you— The hippies seemed— Your attitude on that album seemed to be that the hippies were just as plastic, as one dimensional, that they were following, they were hurting, and they weren't—
FZ: I think the hippies are probably just a hairier version of their parents in most of those cases because the minds that were lurking behind all that hair and beads and the rest of the San Francisco scene weren't truly liberated at all. You know, they were really, uh— They were just like Shriners.
David Silver: Yeah.
FZ: You know, it was the same sort of thing happening. But they couldn't see it, you know, because they felt, "Well, we look different than those other people, so I guess we are different."
David Silver: Yeah.

EC: The essence of it is that, uhm, that if, if we get enough kids in America playing guitar all the same way, uh, heh-heh-heh-heh, uh, music, music would die and, heh-heh, and the world would be a far happier place, you know?

FZ: Hey, kids, let's have a hootenanny!
Team: YEAH!
FZ: We'll have a cheerleading too!
Team: YEAH!
?: A cheerlea—
FZ: Woops! Woopsy daisy. Okay. All right, I'll be the cheerleader!

Nifty, spiffy, boss and tough
Sure of that and got enough

FZ:You gotta go, "Got enough?" You say "Sure of that" and you say "Got enough?"

Nifty, spiffy, boss and tough
Sure of that
Got enough?

FZ: One more time! One, two . . . One, two . . . Can you say "Sure of that" with him? One, two, one, two . . .

Nifty, spiffy, boss and tough
Sure of that
Got enough?

FZ: Okay. "We've got the team that's on the beam," here we go . . . One, two . . .

We've got the team that's on the beam . . .

FZ: Tee-dee, tee-dee, tee-dee . . .

We've got the team that's on the beam . . .

FZ: Tee-tee, tee-tee, tee-tee, tee . . .

We've got the team that's on the beam
And really hot to the jive
Come on, pukers,
Skim 'em alive!
(Yum yum, eat 'em up!)

FZ: How about "Eat 'em alive" instead of "Skim 'em alive," all right, ready? Faster. One, two . . .

We've got the team that's on the beam
And really hot to the jive
Come on, pukers,
Eat 'em alive!

FZ: Really pronounced good. One, two, one, two . . .

We've got the team that's on the beam
And really hot to the jive
Come on, pukers,
Eat 'em alive!

FZ: You know, how about, a big "YEAAAAH," clapping, you know, like they do at the football game? Do we have a little whistle or something that we can blow? It's one of the best hootenannies I've been to. Now, "Lean to the left, lean to the right, stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight," okay? Really little voice, "Lean to the left," okay?

Lean to the left,
Lean to the right,
Stand up, sit down,
Fight, fight, fight

FZ: YEAAAAH, team! Whether we get those guys on the football field we'll tear 'em up.

You're a lonely little girl
But your mommy and your daddy don't care
You're a lonely little girl

The things they say
Just hurt your heart
It's too late now
For them to start
To understand
The way you feel
The world for them
Is too unreal
So you're lonely, lonely, lonely
Lonely little girl

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free
To sing and dance and love

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil
That we can rise above

Who cares if hair is long or short
Or sprayed or partly grayed
We know that hair ain't where it's at

There will come a time when you won't even
Be ashamed if you are fat!

Wah Wah Wah Wah

Wah Wah Wah Wah

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free
To sing and dance and love
(Dance and love)

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil
That we can rise above
(Rise above)

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of Mod A Go-Go stretch-elastic pants
There will come a time when you can even
Take your clothes off when you dance

EC: Eh, yeah, I do have some last words, let me— I would like to say something in conclusion. I'd like to join hands across the sea and say thank you very much for having me here and generally being so kind and everything and uh, I'd like you to know that all of us back in England will be thinking of you, wherever you may be.