Whisky A Go Go, 1968

Ray:

Take your clothes off.

Poo-yeargh!

Just one more drink.
What's a girl like you doing in a place like this.
What's your sign?
What's your rising sign?
What's your favorite color?
When is your new album coming out?

FZ:

What's the name of your group?

Ray:

How'd you get your mouth to go like that?
Have another cigarette.
Peace.
Love.
We want a piece.

Why don't you dance?

Coca-Cola.
RC.
Umm . . .
The Uncola.

FZ:

Marlboro.

Ray:

Tastee-Freez.

I'm gonna have that.

That enough for you, honey?
[...]
Poo-yeargh?

Ray:

I tried to find
How my heart
Could be so blind, dear
How could I be fooled
Just like the rest
You came on strong
With your fast car
And your class ring
Soft voice and your sad eyes
I fell for your whole thing
I don't regret
Having met
Up with a girl who
Breaks hearts like they were
Nothing at all
I've done it too
Now I know
Just what it feels like
And just like I said
There's no regrets

Chickens.

Well, I see by the old clock on the wall it's about time we're hanging up. Golly, I hope you had as much fun as we had, because we certainly had fun up here. Last call for alcohols. It's motel time—motel spelled backwards is letom. Don't forget, Sunday's a jam session. Monday night's twist contest. Tuesday we're going topless. Wednesday we're going naked. Thursday we're going to jail. Friday we're gonna shoot up a Volkswagen . . .

FZ:

Ha ha ha ha!

Ray:

. . . in the kneecap. Should be a lot of fun. Thank you for coming by. Nice to see you. Check your cheese. How's your sister? How's your mother?

FZ:

A long time ago when we worked here, back in the olden days, we got fired from this club circuit for playing this song. It became very difficult for us to gain employment in the Los Angeles area because, against the wishes of the people who ran the whole organization that provided youth oriented entertainment to the people in this area, we went ahead and played a song called "Help, I'm A Rock," on an evening where it was important that it appeared to the people coming in to the club that it was happening, you know? The way you make people know that your club is happening is by having people on the dance floor, see? And when we played this song nobody could dance to it. So the audience had requested this song and the people who ran the place said, "Oh, you'd better not do that." And we played the song and, well, we starved for a long time—it was so difficult to get any work around here but, as a commemorative experience we're gonna grind out a little ditty called "Help, I'm A Rock."

MOI:

Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock
Help, I'm a rock

I think [...]
Really a drag . . .

FZ:

Where's Kim Fowley? Send Kim Fowley up here to sing "Help, I'm A Rock."

Kim Fowley:

[...]

FZ:

It's a drag being a rock
I wish I was anything but a rock
Heck, I'd even like to be a policeman

Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!

It's a drag being a cop
I think I'd rather be the mayor
Heck, maybe I could get a job driving that bus that picks the kids up in front of Canter's

Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!
Help, I'm a cop!

Maybe I can be a . . .

Kim Fowley:

Shake your money maker.

Bill Drake, ladies and gentlemen, started Ugly Radio many years ago. And in honor of rock & roll, we'd like you to remember a rock & roll song. Gonna hear it in a minute. Here it comes. Yeah! Uh! Get ready for it. Shhh . . . Shhh . . . Here it comes, the rock & roll song. Shhh . . . "Dip Dip." Yeah yeah yeah. Hey, man, I'm an Italian vocal group from the Bronx. I listened to Alan Freed and he said, uh, "I want all the publishing rights on 'Dip Dip Dip,' and if you do 'Dip Dip Dip' good enough, I'll put you on stage, the Bethlehem Paramount Theater." So the Flying Spiders, formerly the Emerald Bulldogs, re-recorded this song. Is everybody ready for "Dip Dip Dip"? "Dip Dip Dip."

Kim Fowley:

"Dip Dip Dip." Yeah! Come on, everybody! Twist! Twist! Yeah!

MOI:

My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble
(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend . . . )
You see him coming, better cut out on the double
(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend . . . )

Yeah! My boyfriend's back
Yeah! He really digs my crack
Yeah! You know he's got the knack

My boyfriend's back, he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend . . . )
Come on out, take a permanent vacation
(Hey-la-day-la, my boyfriend . . . )

Yeah! My boyfriend's back
Yeah! My boyfriend's back
Yeah! You know he's gonna do

FZ:

Oh, son of a gun, the boyfriend is coming home and he's really pissed off . . .

Here I come
I hear there's been some trouble
Since I've been away
And here's what I have to say

I said I'd be home
And here I am
I said I'd be home
And here I am

They tell me some joker's been a-bothering you
I trust you, pretty baby, I know you've been true
And from this moment on his schemin' days are through

I'm gonna bust his head
He's gonna wish he were dead
I'm gonna pop his eye
I'm gonna make him cry
I'm gonna jump on his back
I'm gonna give him such a smack
You know I've got what I need
Come on and watch him bleed

Hah!
Baby! Baby! Baby!
Sock it to me! Sock it to me now!
Oh! Baby!
Yeah!
Baby!
Baby
Baby . . .

Oh, yeah
Make me feel so good
Sock it to me
Here comes the judge
Got to
Got to get you down on the floor
I got to get you down on the floor
Baby, baby
I got to get you down on the floor
I got to get you down on the floor

Baby!

Sock it to me, daddy!

Sock it to me!

It's all right
You make me feel so good
It's all right
You make me feel so good
Everybody clap your hands
Everybody clap your hands
Just like on American Bandstand
Everybody clap your hands
You gotta hear the clap your hands
You gotta clap your hands
Gotta clap your hands
Gotta clap your hands
You gotta clap your hands there!
You've gotta clap your hands
If you won't clap your hands
We're gonna come down off the stage
And give you some clap

Thank you!
Thank you very much.
It's a thrill being here tonight.

Thank you.

Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you!

FZ: That'd be what you call your Showmanship Routine #1.

Thank you, lads.
Hey, thanks, guy!
Thanks, Frank.
Thank you, Frank.
Thanks, Ray.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
[...]

FZ:

The purpose of this evening is supposedly to make some recordings of The Mothers live in person someplace. It's the first time we're really recording anything live— No, second time. We did something in Miami. Yeah. That didn't turn out too swift. And, uh— I knew I was blocking that for a reason. We hope that this turns out a little bit better. It's pretty hard to record what we do 'cause it gets so loud and ugly.

What we're going to, uh— What will happen, probably, is, uh, while attempting to record some of our standard repertoire, in case something goes wrong or if it sounds like the take is coming out like shit, we're gonna stop and go over it and do just like they would do at a normal recording session. This might— might get boring after a while but, from time to time there'll be uh, interesting events taking place here in the arena to keep you occupied. We have some special guest artists who will be sitting in tonight to uh, entertain you. We have Wild Man Fischer . . . Mr. Dynamite himself, The Hardest Working Man In Show Business. Joseph Piresanti, who is new— a new talent on the Strip. You'll enjoy what he does very much, I'm sure.

Ray:

Bro.

FZ:

Yeah! Gotta have Bro sit in tonight.

So hard to keep these teenagers happy. There's no way for us to know whether or not they're recording this at all.

FZ:

We're gonna begin with "Episode #2." (Just start playing something nice. In G minor. Make it up.)

I'm losing status at the high school
I used to think that it was my school
I was the king of every school activity
But that's no more, oh mama, what will come of me?

The other night we painted posters
We played some records by The Coasters
A bunch of pom-pom girls looked down their nose at me
They had painted tons of posters, I had painted three
I hear the secret whispers everywhere I go
My school spirit is at an all-time low

I'm losing status at the high school
I used to think that it was my school
Everyone in town knows I'm a handsome football star
I sing and dance and spray my hair and drive a shiny car
I'm friendly and I'm charming, I belong to DeMolay
I'm gonna try like mad to get my status back today

Status back, baby
Status back, baby
Status back, baby
Status back, baby

FZ:

Well, go on!

Thank you!

Ray:

Thank you.

Any requests?

Audience:

[...]

Ray:

Okay, we'll play all of them. Right now.

Audience:

[...]

"Sh-Boom."

FZ:

"Sh-Boom"?

Audience:

[...]

Ray:

I'm hip.

Audience:

[...]

"America Drinks."

FZ:

We already did that! You missed it.

Audience:

[...]

FZ:

(Let's do, uh . . .)

Ray:

([...])

FZ:

("Valarie." "Valarie.")

Ray?:

(What?)

FZ:

("Valarie"!)

Roy?:

(Ha ha!)

FZ:

It's oldies but goodies time.

Audience:

Yay!

[...]

"Blue Suede Shoes."

Ray:

No . . .

Audience:

"Louie Louie."

FZ:

(Let's start— Start off— Start off with "El Monte.")

(Is everything hooked up back there?)

It's a make-believe recording session.

FZ:

("Valarie.")

La la, la la la, la la
La la, la la la, la la
La la, la la la, la la
La la, la la la, la la

Although you don't want me no more
Oh, but it's all right, all right with me
I know, you're gonna want me some day
Oh, you will want me, when I run away

Oh, Valarie
Valarie
(Valarie)
Valarie
(Valarie)
Don't you need me?
(Valarie, etc.)
Don't you want me?

Ah, ah ah!
Ah, ah ah ah!
Ah, ah ah ah!
Valarie!
Come on home!

Although you don't want me no more
Oh, but it's all right, I'm on your door
And I know you're gonna want me some day
Yes, you will want me when I run away

Oh, Valarie
Valarie
Valarie

Valarie, you pig
Let your mind drift back to that night of the prom
And there I was kneeling by your side with my hand reaching up in a gesture of supplication for the red rickrack around the bottom of your white party dress
Valarie, you and I had just finished drinking a pint and a half of Romilar and we were really ripped
Oh, Valarie, you and me, baby, tore to the core
You was my teen-age queen
And the idol of my dreams
And . . .
And everything
And I wanted to make it with you
And I made it with you
And you gave me the clap

La la, la la la, la la
La la, la la la, la la
La la, la la la, la la
La la, la la la, la la
(Look out!)

FZ:

Thank you, teenagers. Okay, right now we're gonna have a special treat for you. The world famed Alice Cooper musical organization is going to, is going to come lunging up onto our bandstand and uh, plug into the amplifiers and do part of their amazing repertoire for you. For those of you who have not seen Alice Cooper before, you'll have a rare treat in store—they're really wonderful, they, they are very unusual, and some of the noises that they make— and pretty too, oh, are they pretty! Delightful. Pay close attention to what they do, they're a very creative group, they're gonna sock it towards you and everything. So if we can get them up here, we're gonna take a little break for a while . . .

Herb Cohen:

Change that spot to yellow. Leave it up there. Yeah, leave it there.

FZ:

Okay, I think we're gettin' about ready to begin. We're about uh . . .

Don't forget that we've—we have lots of fun and merriment in store this evening. Vito's dancers and freakers, Wild Man Fischer and Joseph Piresanti. Just watch out.

And the GTO's and the BTO's!

GTO's & BTO's:

Yay!

FZ:

And of course there's always Phil and Elmer, and Mr. Cowsill and Lenny Stogel. To say nothing of Neil Reshen.

Ray:

And Ray Leong.

And Herbie Cohen. Herbie Cohen on direction.

FZ:

("Hungry Freaks"!)

Roy:

What?

FZ:

("Hungry Freaks.")

Ray:

This is an oldie but a goodie.

Mister America
Walk on by
Your schools that do not teach
Mister America
Walk on by
The minds that won't be reached
Mister America
Try to hide
The emptiness that's you inside
When once you find that the way you lied
And all those corny tricks you tried
Will not forestall the rising tide of
Hungry freaks, Daddy

They won't go
For no more
Great Midwestern hardware store
Philosophy that turns away
From those who aren't afraid to say
What's on their minds
The left-behinds of the Great Society

Hungry freaks, Daddy

They won't go
For no more
Great Midwestern hardware store
Philosophy that turns away
From those who aren't afraid to say
What's on their minds
The left-behinds of the Great Society

They won't go
For no more
Great Midwestern hardware store
Philosophy that turns away
From those who aren't afraid to say
What's on their minds
The left-behinds of the Great Society

FZ:

It's so nice to have Carl Franzoni out of jail!

Ray:

And now! The GTO's!

Getting to know you
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you
Getting to know what to say
Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day

Overture, curtain, lights
This is it, the night of nights
No more rehearsing and nursing a part
We know every part by heart
Overture, curtains, lights
This is it, you'll hit the heights
And oh what heights we'll hit
On with the show, this is it

 

 

 

Girl:

I would like to present you, Frank Zappa, with these wings!

May the dearly beloved bless you!

FZ:

Thank you!

I hope they work.

When we last left America . . .

Plastic people
You gotta go

Plastic people
You gotta go

A fine little girl
She waits for me
She's as plastic
As she can be
She paints her face
With plastic goo
And wrecks her hair
With some shampoo

Plastic people
You gotta go
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Plastic people
You gotta go

Take a day
And walk around
Watch the nazis
Run your town
Then go home
And check yourself
You think we're singing
'Bout someone else
But you're

Plastic people
You gotta go
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Plastic people
You gotta go

Bullshit.

Me see a neon
Moon above
I searched for years
And found no love
I'm sure that love
Will never be
A product of
Plasticity

Plastic people
You gotta go
(Change)

Plastic people
You gotta go
(Change)

You gotta go
(Change)

You gotta go

You've gotta go . . .
You've gotta go . . .

FZ:

At this point I think the only logical thing to do is to bring up Wild Man Fischer.

Now, he's, he's one of my favorite entertainers and I'm sure he's one of yours. And I think it's only fitting on this night of nights that he gets up here and rocks out for you. He has told me that he has some new material. He's going to sing two new and unique songs, from which you may never recover.

Meanwhile, we're going to disappear from the bandstand, and after Wild Man's immaculate teen-age performance, there'll be a brief intermission, during which I believe that they are going to admit some of the people who are waiting in line and have been waiting in line outside for most of the evening. I'd like to thank you very much for coming down to our recording session, and I hope that you have enjoyed some of the stuff we have attempted to do for you. God love you, each and every one.

Where's that Wild Man Fischer?

Girl:

Frank Zappa!

FZ:

Miss Della has asked to be beaten with this here belt. And, uh— So we will hope— oblige her later, just sort of, uh, beat the shit out of her a little bit later in the show.

How about this, Della?

Della:

No!

FZ:

Too little, huh? You want a real belt. Belt you get.

Reminds me of New York.

 

FZ:

("Khaki Sack" . . . One, two, three, four . . .)

FZ:

Thank you.

You can change tapes now if you want, up there in the truck.

 

FZ:

We have some friends out in the audience and we'd like to bring 'em up. If they feel like doing their— If they feel like doing their thing, it would be nice to have the uh, presence on stage of The Turtles, John Mayall, Elliot Ingber, from the Fraternity Of Man, and I'd like to have the members of the Rolling Stones that are in the audience to come buffing up here too, so we can play "Be-Bop-A-Lula."

Crazy man, crazy
Crazy man, crazy
Crazy man, crazy/Had a baby
And can't work no more
Crazy man, crazy
And everytime she starts to working
She has to stop to walk the baby across the floor

She has to walk with the baby
Instead of me
Talk with the baby
Instead of me
Sing to the baby
Instead of me
Cling to the baby
Instead of me
Now I know, and it's
Understood
That's what happens when the getting gets good

FZ:

Where's— Mark? I know you're out there. You frizzy-headed person.

Ray:

Mark Turtle?

FZ:

Yeah. Mark the Turtle.

Ray:

The Turtles are coming.

Elliot.

FZ:

And John Mayall, where is he? Wedged in the crowd someplace?

Where are they now?

And whatever happened to those Rolling Stones?

Ray:

Somebody throw 'em up here.

FZ:

All right. Hold— Quiet for just a second. We're gonna attempt something now that we've never performed on stage before. Might be a little raggedy in spots but, what the heck. Now, when we first recorded "Brown Shoes Don't Make It," it was— it was pretty much of an ordeal, because some of the music, uh, was a little hard to play, and we were kept messing it up and all that stuff, and l— 'bout two years later we've finally got around to pretending like we learned it, and we have been rehearsing on it diligently for about a month now, and, uh, I don't know what's gonna happen, but this is the, the world premiere live of "Brown Shoes Don't Make It."

Brown shoes
Don't make it
Brown shoes
Don't make it
Quit school
Why fake it?
Brown shoes
Don't make it

TV dinner by the pool
Watch your brother grow a beard
Got another year of school
You're okay—he's too weird
Be a plumber
He's a bummer
He's a bummer
Every summer
Be a loyal plastic robot
For a world that doesn't care
Smile at every ugly
Shine on your shoes and cut your hair

Be a jerk
And go t' woik
Be a jerk
And go t' woik
Be a jerk
And go t' woik
Be a jerk
And go t' woik

Do your job and do it right
Life's a ball
TV tonight
Do you love it?
Do you hate it?
There it is
The way you made it
Wow!

One, two, three . . .

A world of secret hungers
Perverting the men who make your laws
Every desire is hidden away
In a drawer, in a desk
By a Naugahyde chair
On a rug where they walk and drool
Past the girls in the office

Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche

We see in the back
Of the City Hall mind
The dream of a girl about thirteen
Off with her clothes and into a bed
Where she tickles his fancy
All night long

His wife's attending an orchid show
She squealed for a week to get him to go
But back in the bed, his teen-age queen
Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene

Baby baby
Baby baby
Baby baby
Baby baby

And he loves it, he loves it
It curls up his toes
She bites his fat neck
And it lights up his nose
But he cannot be fooled
Old City Hall Fred
She's nasty, she's nasty
She digs it in bed

One, two, three . . .

Do it again
And do it some more
That does it, by golly
It's nasty for sure
Nasty nasty nasty
Nasty nasty nasty
Only thirteen and she knows how to nasty

She's a dirty young mind
Corrupted, corroded
Well she's thirteen today
And I hear she gets loaded

If she were my daughter, I'd . . .
(What are you gonna do, daddy?)
If she were my daughter, I'd . . .
(What are you gonna do, daddy?)
If she were my daughter, I'd . . .
(What are you gonna do, daddy?)

Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again, oh baby
Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
And strap her on again

Well, she's my teen-age baby
And she turns me on
I'd like to make her do a nasty
On the White House lawn
Cover my daughter in chocolate syrup
And boogie till the cows come home

Time to go home
Madge is on the phone
Gotta meet the Gurney's
And a dozen grey attorneys

TV dinner by the pool
I'm so glad I finished school
Life is such a ball
I run the world from City Hall

?:

Try to be soft with the girl.

FZ:

Gee, boys and girls, it sure has been swell having you over here to our teen-age recording session. And we hope you come back to the next one—if we can ever raise the money to have another one. Gee whiz, it has been delightful. We'll see ya, good night!

Thank you.