(The Mothers, LP, DiscReet MS 2149, September 7, 1973)
Produced, arranged & conducted by Frank Zappa
Recorded at Bolic Sound, Inglewood, CA; Whitney Studios, Glendale, CA; and Paramount Recording Studios, LA, CA
March-June 1973
Engineers: Barry Keene, Terry Dunavan, Fred Borkgren & Steve Desper
Re-mix: Kerry McNabb
Technicians: Paul Hof, Jay "Dunt" Sloatman, Kanzas J. Canzus
Otherwise: Steve Alsberg, Marty Perellis, Rhonda & Ramona
Cover illustration: David B. McMacken
Graphics: Cal Schenkel
Photography: Emerson-Loew
FZ—guitar & vocals
George Duke—keyboards & synthesizer
Jean-Luc Ponty—violin & baritone violin
Sal Marquez—trumpet & vocals
Ian Underwood—flute, clarinet, alto & tenor sax
Bruce Fowler—trombone
Tom Fowler—bass
Ruth Underwood—marimba, vibes & percussion
Ralph Humphrey—drums
+
Ricky Lancelotti—vocals
Kin Vassy—vocals
Tina Turner, Debbie & Lynn (The Ikettes)—vocals
Vocal: Frank Zappa
She had that Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red
She ruled the Toads of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo
She said she was a Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(I couldn't come in right then . . . )
And so she wandered through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room
Well, I was born to have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
She stripped away her rancid poncho
An' laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An' it was useless any more
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(Actually, I was very busy then)
And so she wandered through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room
Well, I was born to have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
She said she was a Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
(Is that a real poncho . . . I mean
Is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?
Hmmm . . . no foolin' . . . )
Vocal: Frank Zappa
Announcer: Kin Vassy
Backing vocals: Tina Turner, Debbie & Lynn (The Ikettes)
I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I'm the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you
I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
With the stuff that I say
I'm the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozin' out
From your TV set
You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't go for help . . . no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold
That's right, folks . . .
Don't touch that dial
Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin' room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go
I am the slime from your video
Oozin' along on your livin' room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, lookit me go
Vocal: Frank Zappa
Backing vocals: Tina Turner, Debbie & Lynn (The Ikettes)
Give me
Your dirty love
Like you might surrender
To some dragon in your dreams
Give me
Your dirty love
Like a pink donation
To the dragon in your dreams
I don't need your sweet devotion
An' I don't want your cheap emotion
Whip me up some dragon lotion
For your dirty love
Your dirty love
Give me
Your dirty love
Like some tacky little pamphlet
In your daddy's bottom drawer
Give me
Your dirty love
I don't believe you never seen
His book before
I don't need no consolation
I don't want your reservation
I only got one destination
An' that's your dirty love
Your dirty love
Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make her fuzzy poodle do
(Oh, Frenchie . . . )
Give me
Your dirty love
The way your mama
Make that nasty poodle chew
I'll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
I'll just put you in a coma
With some dirty love
Some dirty love
That dirty love
That dirty love
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Snap it!)
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Snap it!)
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Snap it!)
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Not a speck of cereal!)
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Nothing but the best for my dog!)
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Come on!)
The poodle bites!
(Come on, Frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(Little paws sticking up!)
The poodle bites!
(Little curly head!)
The poodle chews it!
(Little curly head!)
Vocal: Ricky Lancelotti
Well, my dandruff is loose
An' my breath is chartreuse
I know I ain't cute
An' my voice is ka-poot
But that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say
Ain't gonna sing you no love song
How my heart is all sore
Will not beg your indulgence
'Cause you heard it before
An' that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say
Ants in my pants!
I have taken your time
I have sung you my song
Ain't no great revelation
But it wasn't too long
An' that's awright people
I'm just crazy enough to sing to you
Any old way, ha ha!
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty
I just might have some thing to say
Vocal: Frank Zappa & Ricky Lancelotti
Backing vocals: Tina Turner, Debbie & Lynn (The Ikettes)
Three hundred years ago
I thought I might get some sleep
I stretched myself out onna antique bed
An' my spirit did a midnite creep
You know I'll never sleep no more
It seem to me that it just ain't wise
Didja ever wake up in the mornin'
With a Zomby Woof behind your eyes
Just about as evil as you could be
I am the Zomby Woof
I'm that creature all the ladies been talkin' about
I am the Zomby Woof
They all seek for shelter when I come chargin' out
Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is, the Zomby Woof
Tellin' you all the Zomby troof
Here I'm is . . .
Reety-awrighty, he da Zomby Woof
Reety-awrighty, he da Zomby Woof
They said aw-reety
An' they was aw-righty
An' I was a Zomby for you, little lady . . .
I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my Zomby Toof
My right foot's bigger than my other one is
Like a reg'lar Zomby Hoof
If I raid your dormitorium
Don't try to remain aloof
I might snatch you up screamin' through the window all nekkid
An' do it to you up on the roof
Don't mess with the Zomby Woof
I am about as evil as a Boogie Man can be!
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the Zomby Woof
Tellin' you all the Zomby Troof
Here I'm is, the Zomby Woof
Vocal: Frank Zappa with Kin Vassy & Sal Marquez
Backing vocals: Tina Turner, Debbie & Lynn (The Ikettes)
I couldn't say where she's comin' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She strolled on over, said look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
Y'jes can't do it
She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
So I got down to it
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm
Got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it
She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . .
Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care
I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?
I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on
The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet
I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try
So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties in there
(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)
She was buns-up kneelin'
(Buns up!)
I was wheelin' an' dealin'
(Wheelin' an' dealin' an' ooooh!)
She surrender to the feelin'
(She sweetly surrendered)
An' she started in to squealin'
Dinah-Moe watched
From the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin'
An' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline
Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
M-M-M . . . it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?
MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin'
Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more . . .
(Oh, baby . . . )
Oh, sure . . . look,
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
MMM . . . tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . .
Gimme your lighter . . .
I couldn't say where she's comin' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She strolled on over, said look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
Y'jes can't do it
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a Dinah-Moe again
An' Dinah-Moe
An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
Dinah-Moe
An' kiss my aura, Dinah-Moe
Dinah . . .
Vocal: Frank Zappa with Kin Vassy ("Yippy-Ty-O")
Backing vocals: Tina Turner, Debbie & Lynn (The Ikettes)
I might be movin' to Montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental Floss
Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
That I can sell uptown
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Well I just might grow me some bees
But I'd leave the sweet stuff
To somebody else
But then, on the other hand I would
Keep the wax
'N melt it down
Pluck some Floss
'N swish it aroun'
I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top
That's why I'm movin' to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a Dental Floss tycoon (yes I am)
Movin' to Montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune
I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dental Floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon
I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
His name is Mighty Little
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way
I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dental Floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line
With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I wouldn't
Have no boss
But I'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental Floss
Well I might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night
And then I'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
'N give my foot a push
Just me 'n the pygmy pony
Over by the Dennil Floss Bush
'N then I might just
Jump back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to Montana
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
Movin' to Montana soon
(Yippy-Yay-O-Ty-Ay)
All compositions by Frank Zappa except as noted